“Forever in debt to your priceless advice…”

Posted in Uncategorized on December 15, 2014 by A♠







I’m smoking on the balcony in the chill, Oklahoma night.


See, smoking is banned in my building.


But sub-woofers aren’t.


Lucky me.


1600+ miles and hip-hop bullshit follows. ¹




My downstairs neighbor practices for his rap-yodeling career as his lack of consideration coupled with my dearth of blood-borne nicotine has me contemplating painting his walls an intriguing shade of brain with a tire-iron.


I continue to like the place but it reminds me that I’m still stuck in “the land of the ‘me'; home of the slaves”. ²


Where everyone seems to fuck everyone else but nobody really orgasms.


Where we’re all just left with that stupid, fake grin on our faces; muttering “Yeah, it was good for me, too”, when we really mean:


“G☼ddamn, what have done with my day life?”




No wonder I fell – head first – into the ‘sphere.


I mean, damn, we’re all freaks, weirdos, malcontents and outlaws.


But at least we stop for a second, if only once in a while, to ask:


“Is this really how things should be?”




We’re the ones that, during the two-minute hate, just hold what we’re supposed to be throwing at the boogeyman-of-the-day, stare at it dumbly – like a dog whose master brought a new baby into the house – and wonder why no one else is wondering.


Regardless, flawed as we all are:


I’ll take us over the frothing masses any day.









¹ = I’ve already been accused of being racist for hating rap/hip-hop, so save such moronic nonsense. Besides, I can name more black musicians than you can, if you try to call me out; Delta bluesmen taught me everything about guitar-playing. Thus, if anything, defame me for “co-opting black culture”.



² = Is it wrong to quote my own work?


My slow-going, in-production memoir? 


Fuck it; I’ll spray what I like on my own digital wall.



PS – This post’s title and song were chosen very, very intentionally.

“I know, John. I do know.”

Posted in Uncategorized on December 11, 2014 by A♠

Watch the following video. 


All of it. 


No cheating.





Sexual conquests are fine distractions.


But they amount to little, if anything, in the end.


Jobs will come and (in the world, this age) go without supplying meaning in any measurable quantity.


And popularity, like the bright, warm season it is, shall pass.


What matters is a man’s mission. 




It is paramount.


It is the flag around which allies gather.


The beacon that guides love to oneself in the darkness.


An inspiration and focal point for loyalty.


It is purpose, goal and legacy all in one.




Looks will fade.


Muscles will weaken and atrophy.


The mind will slowly unravel until, like a clockwork spring, reaching the end of its efficacy.


Ironically, in an era when life-extension is more possible than ever, decay is even more present.




Yet mission accomplishments, and the opposite side of its coin – legacy, are as close a man can come to immortality.


From a certain perspective, it may even be the best way.


As it allows both the memory and soul to endure.


Find a new home.


And, perhaps, a new objective.






“This will never end ’cause I want more.”

Posted in Uncategorized on December 6, 2014 by A♠





For all of the talk of “strong, independent women”- 


I’ve seen none.




A generation of females told they can – and should be – tough, ass-kicking, take-no-prisoners, trash-talking tank-grrrls.


Yet they are so fragile as to get PTSD from internet comments.


Wilt beneath the most basic intellectual criticism. 


Demand police (male) protection from even slight disagreements, let alone raised voices.




It’s akin to pulling teeth to get a woman to communicate through anything but a digital wall.


Phone (voice) chat?




In person?






Text or email only.


They cannot be dragged from the electronic womb.


Soft, soothing, familiar sounds only.


All others need not apply.




Where are the True women?


I don’t mean “strong”.


Women have no need to be strong.


Strength is for the warrior (men).




Women, as the support structure they are, must be resilient.


Not a berserker, but a shield-maiden.


They must exhibit resilience in the face of penury.


Resilience in the face of disease.


Resilience in the face of ostracism.


Resilience in exile.




Resilience is the courage to stand by her man – more accurately, his mission – in the face of adversity.


The power to help him to his feet when he falls.


The wisdom to heal him when he is ill.


The bravery to realize that she is – above all else


The last line of defense for an army that serves a greater purpose.


Her family. 







“There’s nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home…”

Posted in Uncategorized on July 12, 2014 by A♠





In the past two weeks, no fewer than three women have told me – word for word:

“I really want you to have children; your genetics need to carry on.”



I share this not out of a need for praise or adulation but to point out something I believe has gone incompletely addressed in our circle.

That is, why women are attracted to men who engage in “risky behaviors” and “demonstrate expendability”.

In fairness, the surface has been scratched by many with with the statement:

“Women like the thrill/vicarious existence.”

Although there is some veracity to that, I believe it’s not the whole, deeper Truth.



Certainly, women are the pragmatic gender [as I’ve affirmed many, many times], so avoiding danger while gaining the thrill is a viable, predictable strategy.

But what about that makes it specifically sexually attractive, rather than simply a day to day method to be engaged in with anyone sans an erotic component?

By which I mean, those “dangerous, dare-devil men” are never “just friends”.



The answer is simple and – like all things between men and women – not at all “romantic”:

The parts of a machine most in need of replacement are the ones that are most assiduously replaced.

Remember, the goal of male/female interaction is, at its core, simply reproduction.

Why don’t women respond with intense sexual desire for an accountant?

Because there really isn’t an urgent need to replace his genetics.

Thus, barring other powerful motivating factors, he’s overlooked.



This is also why a man can seem to have absolutely nothing else going for him, yet be desired by many women.

See, females are life-creating machines.

That’s why they are here.

It’s their #1 biologically programmed goal.

In fact, their bodies are built for little else [as cruel as that may seem].



So, trip the trigger for them to feel the need to put more life on the planet, and you validate them in the deepest, most powerful recesses of their minds —

Then find yourself on the top of their list.



Dark knights rising.

Posted in Uncategorized on March 15, 2014 by A♠




Watch the video above from :45-1:12.

[Transcribed below for clarity.]


CIA Agent: At least you can talk. Who are you?
Bane: It doesn’t matter who we are; what matters is our plan.
[the Agent removes the hood]
Bane: No one cared who I was until I put on the mask.
CIA Agent: If I pull that off, would you die?
Bane: It would be extremely painful.
CIA Agent: You’re a big guy!
Bane: For you.
CIA Agent: Was getting caught part of your plan?
Bane: Of course.


The quoted exchange caught my attention so swiftly, so powerfully, for one reason and one reason alone:

It is the epitome of our circle.

Permit me to explain:


CIA Agent: At least you can talk. Who are you?
Bane: It doesn’t matter who we are; what matters is our plan.
[the Agent removes the hood]


Here we have the Leviathan [gov’t agent] demanding answers from whom it expects nothing but subjugation.

What follows is the most terrifying response the Leviathan could imagine.

An answer that rejects the cult of “me”.

An answer that casts off the chains of Narcissism.

An answer that refuses to accept instant gratification.

All in favor of a greater – in every sense of the word – victory.



Then comes [if you’ll indulge me] my personal favorite.


Bane: No one cared who I was until I put on the mask.


Why do we write [pseudo-] anonymously?

To protect ourselves?

In part, yes.

But, Truly, because we know our physical forms are nothing but fetters.

Chains that confine us to ad hominems such as:

“You’re just bitter because you’re ugly/white/black/male/etc.”

Whereas our ideas, our observations – indeed, our very Wills – , are our True strength and power.

In short, the “mask” causes us to be judged by what we are rather that what is seen by the eye.

And what we are is so much more.



Which brings me to this portion of the exchange:


CIA Agent: If I pull that off, would you die?
Bane: It would be extremely painful.
CIA Agent: You’re a big guy!
Bane: For you.



Take away our masks, and it will be painful to the Leviathan.

Since it will reveal we are its hardest workers.

Greatest producers.

Most dedicated soldiers.

Its sons.






Finally, and most darkly, comes this portion:


CIA Agent: Was getting caught part of your plan?
Bane: Of course.


The ancient Greeks had a term for it.


In the deepest, darkest recesses of every ‘spherian is the desire to be caught.

This is not to be confused with masochism.

Or even to be considered a conscious thought.

In reality, it is a deep-seated desire to be known.

To be understood.

To be True to purpose.

Come what may.





“…saeclum in favilla”

Posted in Uncategorized on March 15, 2014 by A♠




On this, my ten year anniversary of writing online, I’ve a few things to share.


By all 21st century measurements, I am a failure.

I have few hit-counts [comparatively].

I am unmarried.

I am childless.

I am not famous.

I am neck-deep in penury.

There is, however, another way to look at me.



I have coined terms.

Begun small social movements.

Planted ideas.

Questioned wisdom and authority, both conventional and unconventional.

Leading others to do the same.

Caused men [and women] to question themselves, their beliefs, their actions.



It has been said “Only God can judge”.

That’s not entirely True.

Time is the judge of much, as well.



Both men and ideas exist, in a way, beyond the age that birthed them.

Men – specifically their ideas and individual missions – are as stones thrown into water.

Though they themselves sink to the point of invisibility, the ripples caused remain seen and efficacious beyond the initial impact.



To the uninitiated, I am a “blogger”.

To the slightly wiser, I am a “writer”.

To those with True vision, I am an “engraver”.

I carve thoughts, ideas and images onto the minds of those who’s attention I gain.

And, liked or disliked; loved or hated, those etchings are not easily erased.



I cannot tell if my time here [at this place, literally, and another] has been wasted.

Even I lack such sight.

But I know:

God will judge my soul.

Time will judge my mission.

And I pray both are, one day, found worthy.





“I try to convince myself that the plane is still not gone.”

Posted in Uncategorized on March 7, 2014 by A♠




[ Prompted by a question on http://ask.fm/Oinomancer ]



While every passing day makes it increasingly less likely I’ll have children, here’s the speech I’d give to my daughter:


It’s going to be tough for you.

Boys (men) are going to do everything they can to get what you have to give.

Be wary.

Never cold.

But wary.



Now, I’m not talking solely about physical love.

I also mean your loyalty.

Your support.

Your faith.

In the long run, those are the most precious gifts a woman can give.

They’ll carry a man through even the darkest times.

So choose wisely.



I know you’ll want to find a man you love and makes you feel special.

And you should do so.

But, whether you want children or not (although I hope you want them someday) make sure to always consider if he’d make a good father.

[Because humanity plans and God laughs.]

That’s a burden more and more women forget to carry.

But you need to keep that duty in mind at all times.

Like it or not, it’s women that decide what the next generation will be.

And that’s a responsibility too immense to be disregarded.



Remember, as you measure each man.

Break hearts.

And have yours broken -

There will forever be one man that loves you above all else.

That will always listen.

That will always hold you when you need comforting arms around you.

That will wipe your tears away to reveal that beautiful smile of yours.

Me – your Dad.







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