An easy way to get a handle on the bare bones of gender goals is to keep this crude but helpful summation in mind:
Men need to prove how much pain they can dish out.
Women need to prove how much pain they can take.
As I’ve stated previously, men need strength.
Women need resilience.
Now, modernity gives little opportunity for (not to mention denies permission to) either gender to display such sans criticism.
Sports are getting safer and the daily obstacles/tribulations of life must be eradicated.
The unanticipated problem, however, is there exists a deeply ingrained need for both genders to display and observe displays.
Therefore, stopgap (and rather ineffective) methods have been created and popularized.
Loosely stated, they are:
Video games for men.
BDSM and cutting for women.
It’s no surprise that both 50 Shades of Grey and cutting [by which I really mean self-harm, in general] are extremely popular (although one of the two is, at least ostensibly, viewed as negative).
The growing popularity of the two was to be expected as they are ways for women to state they are empowered (by choosing and controlling the source of harm) while they are actually communicating how much punishment they can take (read: how resilient they are).
Other dark forms of female power displays are:
And “dating assholes”.
Both of those show, with a façade of humility, that said woman is exceptionally resilient.
In less prosperous/more dangerous times, there was little need to utilize such action to provide evidence.
One’s life experiences were plainly visible and known as communities were nowhere near as atomized.
This is the reason the preponderance of fairy tales, which originated in those turbulent days, revolve around the put-upon young woman, in terrible circumstances, that finds her prince.
A prince that, due to the woman’s proven resilience, finds her all the more attractive for it.
Realize, the prince sees her, rightly so, as more appreciative.
And hardier of spirit than his countless other options.¹
Lastly, a wise prince knows:
A woman is far less inclined to prepare a feast of drama if she’s been force-fed it for a few years.
¹ = The extremely popular blogger Judgey Bitch is, in reality, one of those women. She’s shared her personal history, many times.