Valentine’s Day


The commercial above was aired during this year’s Superbowl (so I’ve read).

It’s pretty standard fare for this holiday, though.

What is it advocating?

Or, more accurately, heavily implying?

If you said anything but “prostitution”, then you are wrong.

That’s right.

Across the USA, millions of couples are engaging in sex-for-material goods, today and tonight.

God bless capitalism.
Here we go:

Throughout human history, women have traded sex (and giving a man his biological legacy) for safety and security. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this dynamic. It works; it’s kept us the planet’s dominant life form and gave us civilization along with its accompanying benefits (of which, even an accusatory cynic like myself admits, there are plenty). The problem, however, is that with the advancement of civilization (and technology) came the subsequent decrease in the dangers of starvation, death by animal attack, murder and rape.
Contrary to what the sensationalist media will tell women, they are safer now than they have ever been. Thus, the focus has shifted away from survival to the achievement of luxury. So what is the goal of sex now? The highest possible standard of living (at worst) to entertainment/validation to an “expression of love” (at best). None of which even come close to matching the power it once had. This is why the single parent numbers have quadrupled, fewer people are marrying and the divorce rate is greater than 50%. In short: There is no real efficacy behind sex anymore.
Which leads me to enumerate why this holiday amuses me:

1} We’re already inundated with sexual images via pornography, TV programs, magazines and advertising. We celebrate it in every mainstream film, TV show and commercial in some shape or form as it is. Every second of every day; adding a day to praise “romantic relations” seems redundant.

2} This day has the same flawed logic Christmas has acquired: One day set aside to show someone you care. That’s ludicrous. It should be shown 365. A woman will appreciate a surprising, cheap gift on a random Wednesday along with the words “Hey, I saw this and thought of you.” more than anything you’ll buy for her today. Trust me. Real love is about thoughtfulness; real commitment means always considering your partner.

3} Women set themselves up for failure today. If they’re in a relationship, it’s unlikely they’ll be happy with anything done for/given to them as their imaginations will not match their partner’s [men and women do NOT think the same way]. If they’re not in a relationship, they usually feel like they’ve missed out or done something wrong. Like so many things done to empower women – it ends up doing more harm to them than good. Road to Hell and such…

4} Back in the olde days, giving women gifts worked. Why? Because they, far more often than not, couldn’t afford them. Such actions demonstrated a man could provide for them and their children. Now that women have educations and jobs (moreso than men, in this economy), they can buy things for themselves (and do). This simply causes women to “beware men bearing gifts”. Jewelry, flowers, etc will tell them a man feels unworthy of her and must pay for her attention (at best) or he’s trying to con is way into sex (at worst).

5} Even if a woman is one of a very rare breed and does, in fact, appreciate such a gesture, it will lack the impact she’d expected. Why? Because, today, every woman is getting a gift. Women want to know they’re special. If her sisters got something and she did, too – what’s the big deal? Absolutely nothing.

6} It’s actually a very selfish holiday and breeds a sense of female entitlement. How many ads are targeted at women to buy something nice for men? I haven’t seen any. This is a terrible trend in that one of the things men are attracted to is a woman’s giving nature. Lose that, and she’s putting too much stock in her looks – which time will quickly take.

7} Speaking of physical appearance – how many women want flowers or nice gifts? And how many of them look like the woman in the commercial? Exactly. As the ad itself states, “Give and you’ll receive.” Permit me to be clear: I’m not saying women need to look like a Victoria’s Secret supermodel. I’m pointing out how few women keep an appropriate BMI, dress in a feminine manner (such as wear a dress or stockings and garters, as in the ad) and use a tasteful amount of make-up. In short: if one wishes to be bought, one had best be worth purchasing.

8} To those that feel I’m putting too much emphasis on the sexual aspect I say this: That’s impossible. But I’ll humor them. The euphoria of “love” is already praised in music, art and literature. It’d make more sense to praise the intoxicating effects of alcohol or the stimulants in cocaine; they don’t get half the applause “love” does.

9} It’s been a cliché for decades that “chicks dig jerks”. There are wars online constantly over it. But whether it’s True or not [it is], the internet killed what little remained of the feminine mystique. Any guy with a FaKebook account and a 3rd grade reading level sees “nice guys” stomped on and douche-bags getting laid. Example:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/horrible-reactions-to-chris-brown-at-the-grammys
Sure, not all women may be that way, but it has an impact [no pun intended – Ok maybe a little] on men. Seeing enough of it makes a man with any sense believe that misbehavior will get him further than niceties.

10} I’ve saved the best for last: This holiday is, in practice, best for people who have no interest in “love”. Why? Because there are countless folks out there that feel lower than ever about being single. Were I able to afford the gas and a couple drinks, I’d be out picking up a desperately lonely, incredibly hot and slightly inebriated woman to pass the evening. In fact, I call the days prior to this holiday “Shark Week”.

There you have it.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

No.

Seriously.

Ω

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3 Responses to “Valentine’s Day”

  1. I accidentally the whole thing.

    My eyes hurt.

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