A multimedia presentation.

Sometimes fiction gets it right.

For fun, yet with serious intent, I present the following:


One should learn from the Star Wars character Han Solo.

In my continuing desire to help in an area where I’d never received any (until recently), I present a visual accompanied by a breakdown:

Pay attention to:

1} His body language – notice the swagger and relaxed posture when he enters the room. It’s confident and demonstrates that he makes himself at home wherever he is. Also notice the turn-away when Leia starts complaining. It says ‘I have no desire to listen to fears’. Which leads to…

2} His actions – he touches her non-sexually. He places his hands on her shoulders and kisses her forehead. All are reassuring physical gestures. Humans, but women especially, are very tactile creatures (this is also why the vast majority of long distance relationships don’t work. Women often need to feel a man’s physical presence to make him real).

3} His words – he doesn’t invalidate her feelings but he does not cater to them, either. He reassures her as he knows that’s what she really wants; to feel safe and secure, not given cold logic. Also, notice he agrees with her but only to a point. He maintains his friendship and his way of doing things. A man’s confidence is an aura from which women derive comfort.

4} His replies – the answer to Leia’s question is silence. Women are attracted to men who have other options. Women, as the sexual choosers, know that they can get a partner easily – but a quality partner is difficult to attain (this is also why the “slut/stud” comparison is not a double standard in reality). The answer to Lando’s question is simple denial that anything is wrong – and he’s not lying. It’s a machine, he has a very technically proficient friend so it will be repaired. He has faith in himself, his choices and his way of doing things.

There you have it.

Special Note: Take a look at Han’s reaction to Lando’s “total nice guy” game. He seems as though he’s covering his mouth to stifle a laugh. Han was probably much like myself at one point and learned (though much earlier than I did) that it never works. Ever.


6 Responses to “A multimedia presentation.”

  1. Lol. Good observations.

    I agree Han was probably like ‘oooh boy’… but my take on it was less laughter and more like one player to another. Lando had game.. looks like nice guy game, but he was suave and was very confident and charasmatic with the whole ‘heeeeeelloooo what have we here’ routine. I didn’t detect a hint of beta. Lando’s too cool cat about it.

    It’s like Han knew he was trying to game Leia too and actually showed a touch of worry 🙂 He even validated Lando’s technique by calling him ‘ol’ smoothy’

    I did a very similar movie character game breakdown using Ghostbusters.


  2. My take on Han Solo’s behavior with Leia is a little different. And I might add my opinion is the same as when I first saw this movie.

    He just isn’t that into her.


    • I disagree [at the moment] but there is certainly a chance you could change my mind.

      What makes you say that?

      Is there a post of yours I could read than presents your argument, as I am certainly curious?

      • I did blog on the subject, but it doesn’t address the way Han Solo is acting.

        I just read his character that way. That’s the way a man acts when he likes a woman sort of, but he doesn’t think she’s the one. Han Solo flirts with Leia, teases her, but he’s not THAT into her. Before he goes into the carbon freezing and she impulsively tells him, “I love you” he says, “I know.” That’s not a man in love.


      • @ Carolina: But he said “I know” in an incredibly soft and sincere manner.

        You seem to assume that a guy who’s very much in charge of his own emotions can’t be deeply into a woman.

        Yes, he teases her, he’s in control. He mocks and cajoles, but he’s very into her.

        It’s like how a lot of baby boomers thought the WWII generation weren’t very “deep” because they never talked about feelings. Yet at the right time and place, the guys who survived hellholes like Okinawa were far more deep than the emotion-driven Boomers. It’s just that their emotions were so deep, their inner natures so profound that they didn’t want to waste denigrate them by wearing them on their sleeves.

        Han loves Leia, he just loves her so much that he doesn’t want to express his love like a woman would.

        You seem to confuse “love” and “oneitis”

      • Well said, Martel.

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