“All the grief in all the world is not enough to make me comfort you”

This is from a recent IM conversation:

Him: If it takes this much work to get a girlfriend, then screw it. I won’t bother.

Me: Ok. Stock up on lotion and tissues because you’ll need them for a very long time

 

 

People really should know by now I don’t give false comfort.

However, this exchange got me thinking.

I’m starting to get annoyed at women that say their relationship with a guy they like is “Fate” or “Destiny’ binding them together.

Because that truly, deeply cheapens a man’s work at self-improvement and self-maintenance.

It’s not some magic force.

It’s the fact some men (like myself) work at being the best we can.

And we never stop.

I didn’t get good at writing, being charming, playing guitar, writing music or being witty by sitting on my ass playing video games or watching TV.

“Fate” didn’t give me any of that.

I gave it to myself.

 

 

Consequently, by being these things, women are often attracted to me.

Because I have value, passions, drive and skills.

Conversely, I don’t give Fate or Destiny credit for a woman working hard to stay in shape, really learning how to talk to and relate to a man and doing everything she can for him to demonstrate her love and affection.

She put the effort in it and deserves the credit.

If you want to thank otherworldly forces, in some rare cases that’s Ok.

Such as somehow recrossing paths many years after meeting one another.

Or encountering someone in an unlikely/unexpected place.

In other words, I’ll let folks be grateful to Higher Powers for introducing them.

But not for either attraction or a strong relationship.

Those things take work.

 

 

I understand that’s nowhere near as romantic.

But believing otherwise is shifting responsibility.

Failing to own one’s own choices.

Not to mention, the first steps on a long road of heartache.

 

 

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♪ ♫ ♪: Motörhead – I Don’t Believe A Word