Dear internet attention-whore “self shooters”,

1} If you must take a shot of yourself in your bathroom/bedroom, then clean it first. You are less attractive surrounded by your rat’s nest of a home. Sure, my bedroom needs work but I don’t post photos of it and female visitors only see the ceiling (or the headboard).

 

2} To the ladies: Men are not vitamins so putting as many as you can in you will not make you healthier; you want dad’s attention, not a million guys you’ve never met.

 

3} If your iPhone is so g☼ddamn miraculous, then why not use the timer–feature to take the photo so you don’t have to hold it? Or is the double hit of mirror+photo too soothing to your narcissism?

 

Doing you a favor,

A♠

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6 Responses to “Dear internet attention-whore “self shooters”,”

  1. sunshinemary Says:

    Here’s a classic one:

  2. “Men are not vitamins so putting as many as you can in you will not make you healthier; you want dad’s attention, not a million guys you’ve never met.”

    Lulz; then Truth.

    My day is complete. Thanks, Ace.

  3. […] 80 Proof Oinomancy – Dear Internet Attention Whore Self Shooters […]

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