I am become Death, the lighter of Marlboro No. 27’s

“Ted Taylor, a man whose balls probably need a little hand truck to carry them from place to place, once used a nuclear bomb to light a cigarette. And if you’re thinking he just lit a match off of one or something (an act which would already qualify him as a badass in the minds of all but the most jaded of elite mercenary forces), that’s not the case: He used a parabolic mirror to reflect and focus the radiation from a 14-kiloton nuclear explosion in the Nevada desert, THEN STUCK HIS FACE INTO IT AND LIT HIS CIGARETTE. One more time, for those of you who were just temporarily blinded halfway through the insanity of that last sentence: A man once harvested the energy from a nuclear explosion … just to light his cigarette. He survived just fine, but there’s no word on whether he gained smoke-based superpowers afterward, so we’re forced to assume he did.”

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_19085_the-6-most-ingenious-misuses-military-hardware_p2.html#ixzz2NCEnVuVf

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That, my friends, is the epitome of “enjoying the decline”.

And you’ll never top it.

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http://youtu.be/3mbBbFH9fAg

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