“King of Frustration; vampire deluxe…”

“You think you’ve figured out that true love doesn’t exist, that it’s all been a kind of romantic lie sold by TV and the media, that real life isn’t like that; but what I am telling you is that you didn’t figure this out, you were TOLD this. Now, constantly, by every modern TV show, by Lori Gottlieb and the zombies at The Atlantic, by your friends, by your parents– the trick was to get you to think you figured it out on your own…”

 

– The Last Psychiatrist, ► Don’t Hate Her Because She’s Successful ◄ 

Of course you believe “true love doesn’t exist”.

Because your parents told you.

Hell, they demonstrated it by not staying together.

And you, like any good child, think your parents know more than you do.

 

 

Don’t deny it.

It’s human nature.

I thought that, too.

For a very long time.

 

 

However, the problem isn’t that they lied.

The problem is they were the most selfish generation to walk the planet and, quite simply, they did not want you to succeed where they failed.

And that you’re retarded.

Seriously.

I don’t say that in the pejorative sense.

I mean:

re·tard·ed
/riˈtärdid/

Adjective

Less advanced, esp. mentally, than is usual for one’s age.

You’re still seeing the world through the eyes of a child seeking answers and validation.

All while you have greater access to more knowledge in your bathroom [if you remembered to bring your cell phone in] than every living human prior to your first breath.

 

 

It could also be that you’re a narcissist.

That you want to be seen as “strong and independent”.

Well, if you’re getting food-stamps, WIC, money from your family or friends:

You’re definitely not independent.

[I, sure as Hell, am not independent.

I owe my friends money.

And if they’re reading:

You’ll get it back.

Scout’s honor.]

But, yes, you don’t need to share the remote and can forgo hygiene more than most.

Congrats, the Pyrrhic victory is yours.

 

 

If monogamy is not your speed, you could always try polyamory.

That is, if you believe “sex = love”.

Those of us that have emotionally progressed past 16 will be waiting for you at the other side.

And, yes, we’re going to say “We told you so”.

 

 

 

Ω