“I’m your truth, telling lies; I’m your reasoned alibis; I’m inside, open your eyes – I’m you.”

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I try to explain to him what it was like:

Stuck in a severely emotionally abusive relationship for almost ten years.

 

 

She’d constantly list and exaggerate my flaws.

She’d blame me for every negative emotion she had, regardless how random it was or if I was even present at the time.

She’d belittle everything about me she could so I’d doubt the most minor positive quality I had.

She’d gaslight me; twisting and bending reality until its screams drove me mad in order to win any argument or make whatever horrible thing (cheating, stealing, etc) she was doing seem righteous.

 

 

The times I managed to pull away, my phone would ring off the hook.

She’d drive to my house if I didn’t answer.

She’d follow me wherever I’d go.

 

 

Trying to get out, I found myself blocked at every turn.

I could find no support, no safe-haven.

(My family gave me my low self-esteem and never offered help in any area, so even that common avenue was unusable.)

 

 

I learned, years later:

She’d poisoned my friends, saying I abused her.

(I was wondering why they were all gone by the time I’d finally been freed of her…)

She’d threatened women who so much as looked at me.

If she wasn’t able to threaten them, she’d befriended them in order to get close then defame me.

All to support her claim (one that she incessantly made throughout those Hellish years) that no one else would – or could – love me.

 

 

It’s difficult to discuss this because few believe such thing could happen to anyone.

Especially a man.

Emotional abuse is barely recognized by the public.

When, in fact, it’s just as bad – if not worse than – physical abuse.

People will believe bruises and broken bones.

Whereas mental scars, depression, suicidal tendencies and personality changes can simply and easily be foisted on the victim.

 

 

I wish I knew 20 years ago what I know now.

I’d have avoided all of that insanity.

I’d have enjoyed the best year of my life.

Rather than squandered them in misery.

My life now would be vastly different.

And I’d likely be one of the happiest people you’d ever meet.

 

 

He gives a polite nod.

But my unfailing talent reveals:

He doesn’t believe me.

 

 

In case it wasn’t obvious to this point how such a thing could last a decade…

Odds are your reaction was the same as his.

 

 

 

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