“Las palabras que dijiste cuando yo te vi…”


Thirteen years later, the image is still carved in my mind.

Like some etching by Doré.

Beautiful yet baroque and dark.

Her face…

More importantly, the expression it wore.



I’d made my second pass at her in two or three years.

In the autumn night, at the waterside near her NJ college dorm, I kissed her.

She returned it with eyes that said:

“You’re a eunuch.

How on earth could you ever hope to satisfy me?”



It was then her unreceptive lips spoke.

They mentioned she’d been exploring a relationship with her female roommate.

Even at that time, in all my ignorance, I knew better than to believe it.

Yet, I respected her choice.

Not much later, I left.


Like the few times prior.

However, I vowed I’d never see that expression on a woman again.



Since, I’ve been shot down.

Been picked up.

Had one-night stands.

Been dumped.

Had long-term relationships.

Slept with two women at the same time.

Fallen in love.

Had women fall in love with me.

Been hit on.

And been brushed off.



Now, time has changed us both.

But, True to form, I’ve kept my vow:

I haven’t seen that expression on a woman ever since.

Nor will I again.

It was, in and of itself, was one agonizing death too many.






14 Responses to ““Las palabras que dijiste cuando yo te vi…””

  1. I don’t know how I pull it off…but women seem to say the most overt things to me. I don’t know if it was because I used to not get the hint…or I actually found slightly more honest chicks.

    The one thing I vowed to never hear from a girl again was “you aren’t exciting”.

    I didn’t know what she meant at the time…but I vowed to never hear those words again. Now that I truly know what she meant…I’ve heard nothing but the opposite lately.

  2. Ace:

    But yet, turn this around. Think about the times you’ve seen expressions of desire and lust on a woman’s face and body.

    Her staring at you with utter devotion.

    Her half-open, glassy eyes (what we older guys call “bedroom eyes”).

    Her pouty lips on a half open mouth.

    Face flushed, chest heaving, increased breathing rate, deeper breathing.

    She says things like this in a breathy half-whisper, half gaspy rasp:

    “I don’t care about school. I don’t care about teaching. I just want YYYYOOOUUUU.”

    “Please just put it innnnn mmeeeee NOOOWWW.”

    Is there any sweeter feeling to know that right now, in this moment, you completely OWN her?

  3. Tweeted. Dude you should write a book of poetry, I’d publish it.

  4. Some men write lay reports. I’ve not written any out of laziness and because I like to overanalyze for lessons learned.

    I may have to do poems prefacing them.

    @Deti – I got my first experienced of the breathly mumbling in Thailand. Her small frame breathed “I love you” and “Daddy”. All three were firsts for me.

  5. You magnificent bastard. You’re the musician singing his heartbreak lost-love song. This post isn’t nostalgia, it’s to get you the next one who comes along.

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