“I don’t need a reason why…”


There’s an old saying that goes:

“The clothes make the man.”



That’s not at all True.

But women believe, and behave, as though it is.

See, even average looking girls are approached numerous times a day.

So they use as many easily observable characteristics as possible to make quicken and simplify the selection process.

What it took me way too long to figure out (for which, once more, I blame my mother) is:

If a man wants a certain type of woman he needs to dress as though he’s her type of mate.

This seems basic (and it is) but it’s staggering how many guys don’t get it.



If you want Goth girls, you’ve got to dress Goth.

If you want fashionable girls, dress in the latest styles.

If you want country girls, dress country.

Silly to say it, but in this day and age, it needs to be said.



As far as grooming goes:

1} Hygiene above all.

2} If you want a mustache, there’s a great deal that must go with it; it must be full, thick and end where the lower lip begins. Also, your hair must be cut short at the sides and back (though not buzz–cut) while being longer (2-3”) on the top and combed back. You should also be about 30 or older, and generally dress professionally/business casually. Also, you must be clean-shaven, otherwise; no 5 o’clock shadow. Be sure your clothes are classic, if not in-style, so as to not be a used car salesman. Lastly, and most importantly, you must go all-in with it. Ignore comments mocking it or asking you to shave. Do not try to win approval for it. Prove you are wearing it for you and will not be around people that want you to change it. That’s how Tom Selleck does it.

2} Goatees = are worn and tired. However, if you’re balding badly and have a weak chin, absolutely grow one. Again, you must be clean-shaven, otherwise; no 5 o’clock shadow. Your head should also be shaved very, very regularly and thoroughly. Be sure to use sunscreen all over your head and be sure to get plenty of sun year ’round, so as to not be too pasty. Learn to trim your goatee with meticulous precision.

3} Long hair = be acne free, an appropriate weight and do not wear glasses. (Yes, I am breaking the last two rules, as I’m a little overweight and can’t afford contacts at the moment, and I am wrong.  I am working to change that.) Don’t dress outlandishly but be sure to dress with an edge. Don’t have a mustache, goatee or beard with it. It’s too much at that point (although, you can go for the Lemmy look but you’d best be bad-ass enough to pull it off). No gaming t-shirts or anything that screams “nerd”.  Far too many computer guys and geeks think long hair makes them cool; it doesn’t. Instead, it tends to give the impression they’re just too lazy to get a haircut.

There you have it, men.

I’d wish you the best of luck.

But you won’t really need it if you listen to me.





21 Responses to ““I don’t need a reason why…””

  1. Or if you can…go beard. Make sure you give yourself at least a month to grow it out because it will look bad and patchy at first. Plus it will itch…but no pain, no gain. Once it is in place…keep it groomed.

    At first I grew one out because it gets so freaking cold in the winter and it kept my face warm…later on I started to like the look and it makes my face look stronger. It is a good thing to have if you have a weak chin and jawline.

  2. I’ve got a weak jawline and am thinking of growing a beard when the weather cools. My wife tells me she won’t like it, she’s not into the bearded look. I’ve seen statistics showing that the vast majority of women strongly dislike a beard, that’s why politicians almost never have one. Not sure I care what anyone else thinks, but since I have some time, any advice?

    • I’d go with it, no doubt.

      If you can, and have a steady hand, try a beard that pretty much runs the jawline about 1½ inches wide.

      Think college professor more than Grizzly Adams.

      That’s my 2¢.

    • I’ve always been told by women that they love my facial hair and can’t stand clean shaven guys. Hell, Mistress says if I shaved clean I wouldn’t get any till it grows back, she doesn’t want a child she wants a man.

  3. Women are constantly throwing themselves at my husband & whereas I used to think it was because he’s tall & good looking, now I think it’s because he dresses to please himself.

    He collects & wears the loudest Hawaiian shirts he can find at the thrift store. Seriously. It is hilarious. I guess it is a really obnoxious way of peacocking or something. When he has the brightest ones on & we are out in public, I’ll come back from the bathroom & some woman is always standing next to him trying to get his attention. Oh the lulz!

    He wears a short beard in the winter & is clean shaven with long sideburns in the summer.

  4. If you’re bald like I am, shear your hair very, very short (no more than 1/8 inch long) or shave it. My boy Dannyfrom504 shaves his, as does Davis Aurini. I started shaving last year. It increases your masculine look. If you have a weak chin you MUST grow facial hair.

    You MUST get a body. Start lifting.

    Re hygiene: details matter. Maybe it needs to be said:

    1. Brush your teeth at least twice a day.
    2. Floss. Helps with bad breath.
    3. Carry breath mints. If someone offers you a mint, take it.
    4. if you have problems with bad breath, it’s probably your teeth or your diet. fix it.
    5. Body odor: Underarms and crotch. Deodorant. Wear it. As for your crotch, wash your cock and ballsack.
    6. Drink more water. Helps with BO and bad breath.
    7. Clean under your fingernails.
    8. Keep nails and cuticles trimmed. With men, after your face, your hands are the next part of a male body anyone will look at. Then at your shoes.
    9. About your shoes: Keep them in good repair and reasonably clean. If you wear leather business shoes like wingtips or captoes or laceups or loafers, wipe them down and shine them regularly.
    10. As for women, ever notice what you look at and in what order?
    a. Hair
    b. Eyes
    c. Breasts
    d. Left hand (to check for wedding ring)

  5. But…I have a either a buzz or shaved head, and a beard and mustache (kept trimmed to a 1 or 2). I don’t seem to fall into any of the above categories.

  6. visvalmontValmont Says:

    I have been trialing different facial hairs over the last three months after wearing a goatee for 5+ years without change.

    – Completely clean shaven was a terrible mistake. I was reminiscent of a native american paedophile.
    – Mustache only is doable and seems to give me a youthful appearance
    – I cannot grow a full beard on a short time scale. Trialed it for two months and still had significant patching on the right cheek.
    – Currently running a mustache with a 1 1/2 inch wide strap going along my jawline kept to a #2 which matches my hair. Considering bringing it all down to a #2

    I got the most attention, questions and comments while running the full beard.

    Still looking better than when I had shoulder length flat and unclean hair and a dense wiry neck beard. One learns, but style takes some time if it isn’t natural or something cared about for a long time.

    • “Trialing” is excellent.

      Keep it up in as many areas of your life as you can.

      Best advice you’ll get, Trust me.

    • “– Currently running a mustache with a 1 1/2 inch wide strap going along my jawline kept to a #2 which matches my hair. Considering bringing it all down to a #2”

      Could you pull off the singer’s look in the video below?

      My instincts tell me it would work for you:

  7. […] “If a man wants a certain type of woman he needs to dress as though he’s her type of mate.” […]

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