“Hey, son, I never told anyone…”



Men like me, who reached sexual maturity before the internet, often bemoan the lack of available knowledge in dealing with the opposite sex when we most needed it.

And they’re right to do so.

But,  as usual, my reasons for doing such are different than most.



See, most men in that category do so because they lament the countless missed opportunities.

Now, I’d be a fool and a liar to say I did not feel the same.

To a point.

But mine goes deeper, and darker, than that.



I wish I’d had the currently available knowledge then because:

I’d have hung up on more women than I can remember once they started bitching about some non-problem or another.

I’d have kept the money I earned working in America’s most dangerous city rather than fuel some flakey broad’s whims.

I’d have put my foot down sooner and saved myself a shit-ton of trouble long before it circled around and bit me in the ass.


I’d have taken break-ups for what they were; something all too frequently more easily replaced than changing a tire.

I’d have had better sex with far less effort.

[I have a theory that a woman’s sexual skill is slightly inversely proportional to how hot she is.

Since hot girls think their looks is all that’s necessary in the bedroom.

But that’s for another post, another day.]



Now, some may read this post and say:

“So you’re saying you wish you knew then what you know now so you could have been more of a dick?!”




That’s it exactly.


13 Responses to ““Hey, son, I never told anyone…””

  1. I look at as those things we didn’t know back then is what led us to knowing what we know now.

    Would I go back and smack some sense into my 20 year old self…sure. But I also be robbing myself of figuring things out my own way.

    The sad truth is guys have to learn by screwing up.

    • I’d only give my younger self the knowledge of lessons I have learnt now if I’d be have the failures that accompanied the lessons in mind.

      In other words, I wouldn’t want my younger self to be a natural. Just wiser.

      On a side note: awesome song.

      • Yeah…saving myself the anguish of not knowing what was going on would have helped my psyche quite a bit.

        Then again I would say it was the anguish that drove me to be better. Most young people are ignorant because they haven’t gone through pain.

      • I have a saying:

        Experience is a despot.

        Take from that what you will.

      • Wisdom would be the better choice, no doubt.

        We learn more from our failures than successes.

        Side Note: Glad you enjoyed the tune.

    • That’s certainly the Truth.

      And it’s certainly sad.

  2. Those things you are talking about? That is not being a dick. It’s being your own Man. The two are very different things.

    • You are 100% correct.

      It concerns me, not that you pointed it out, but that I did not realize it until soon after I clicked “publish”.

      Further proof that even men such as myself backslide, now and then.

  3. […] I have also noticed in reading these posts, is that many of the behaviors that are described as being caddish, mostly aren’t.  I understand why Heartiste, Ace and […]

  4. Yep It's Me Says:

    Reading the archives, thought I’d add something here…

    My own lament is not so much “I wished it’d been there” but rather, I wish I’d just listened, opened my eyes, and just been more aware. The truth has always been there, not within the words of comfort from those around us (because they were just repeating the same drivel that was told them), but that truth of “when I act/say/do this, I usually get this reaction” – or “there’s more than one fish in the sea” or “women are like the wind”. Hell, even my Dad told me growing up “never worry about women, they have half the money and all the pussy”.

    For my sons, there is no excuse to be uneducated, about anything or subject matter, because it is right there at your finger tips (literally).

    My regret is believing all the BS of the 70s, 80s and 90s – and not just believing in myself more. The big lie to me was that marriage was a partnership – a balance of power – that both parties had the best interests of the group as their primary goal. Also, that a man can “stop playing the Game” once he gets married. Two lies, if followed, will eventually lead to failure.

    Glad I found your site – good stuff.

  5. You say:
    Now, some may read this post and say:

    “So you’re saying you wish you knew then what you know now so you could have been more of a dick?!”

    I realize there are two types of people who ask this question: women, and men who don’t understand (White Knights/Wusses/Etc all included).

    For “being a dick” is a subjective term as is “treating her right”.

    Your answer is perfect for two reasons. First, it’s the answer women want to hear even if they will never admit it. Secondly, it’s the answer men need to hear.

    Many men’s concept of being a dick is not the same as women’s. And most men who try to be ‘dicks’, who are otherwise nice guys, usually undershoot so as to actually be a dick, but achieve the actual goal of behavior somewhere in the middle of two extremes. Nice with a backbone, Not selfish, so much as not enabling the selfishness of others. There’s many ways to say it.


  6. […] “Hey, son, I never told anyone…” (Charm City Devils – Devil is a Woman) […]

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