“I want a new tour bus full of old guitars…”



It’s been a part of my life for more than a decade.

I’ve been in and out of more bands than I care to recount.

(Hang with me, I’m getting somewhere.)



Back when I had my first Federal badge, I’d finish the night shift.

Then get changed, put my sidearm in the locker and head out to the Philadelphia music scene.

[It used to be awesome; this has changed, sadly.]

I did this with such regularity my nickname became “Rockstar”.

Fast forward more years than I’d care to admit—



I’m working for shit money in bad neighborhood at a retail chain with a boring  uniform.

A close friend is going to pick me up the instant I get home, so I buy some cheap clothes at my workplace.

I get changed in the fitting room, drop my glasses in a bag, let my hair down and head out.



Now, keep in mind, I’ve been working there for half a year.

Never has anyone said anything about my appearance.

Yet, I’m no sooner out of the changing room than the girl working the counter says:

“Whoa, fancy!”

As I walk to the exit, more female heads turn.

Even a couple men comment.

One says:

“Damn! You look like like a rock star!”



What am I wearing?

Dark blue jeans.

A black t-shirt with a Batman symbol screenpressed onto it.

My biker boots.

My hair down.

My 5 o’clock shadow.

My keys on silver carbiner.

And I’m not wearing glasses.

That’s it.



The point of this post isn’t to say “clothes don’t matter”.

My point is:

Clothes don’t make the man.

The man makes the clothes.

Own who you are.


13 Responses to ““I want a new tour bus full of old guitars…””

  1. I’m not a huge Nickelback fan, but they do have something. The first time I heard “Next Contestant” I fell on the floor, roaring. The kids thought that I was having a mental break. (They don’t believe that I’m a real person, you know, just a stern, generic, joyless, parental unit. Parasitic little monsters.) I still grin when that tune comes on. Times change, but the memories are crystal clear.

    Fast forward…

    No joke. Bud, this is THE STORY to tell. Why and how did it all get away? Did you believe the common misconception about growing up? It doesn’t mean shutting down and settling for a prepackaged life of drudgery, saddled to a minivan. Stuff that.

    What gives? You still have the attitude and drive. What happened to the rest?

    • docillusion Says:

      Growing up? What the Hell is that?

      I’m just a teenager with a good job. Having money just means I can have lots of fun. I’m a 27 year old boy. I’ve never understood the “adulthood” thing.

    • Excellent questions and observations, Alan.

      Those are answered in the memoir I’m writing.

      • I don’t know how I missed this. I’ll take more than one copy please. I think at least three should be good. Maybe four. One for my Dad, one of my best friend, and two for me in case I lose one.


  2. You’re in Philly 80? I know a jam spot open to the crowd every Sunday night in fish town. If you’re interested in getting your rock off, pm me.

  3. If you’re comfortable in what you’re wearing – you makes the clothes. Wear them enough and in the eyes of others, you become them and they become you.

    Then people think the clothes make the man.

    My highschool friends all recognized me by the leather jacket with stripes I wore, without fail two years in a row in highschool.


    • You got it, Wald.

      It’s mistake cause for result.

      Do better clothes make better men?


      But the core must be True first.

  4. YouSoWould Says:

    Couldn’t agree more. My niche is crisp, tailored suits. Fits with my image, as much as the rock star thing fits with yours.

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