“Let’s make some honey, honey, in so many words…”

 

A wise man once said:

“Talk is cheap.”

 

 

Look, I’m not Roissy, Rollo or Roosh.

So, take my thoughts as you will.

1} Emoticons rule. Before you run your mouth, remember: chicks like to natter; men prefer to act. Facial expression = action. Reply to most texts [if you must text at all] with symbols. She can fill everything in herself. Fuck, that’s what she’ll do, regardless.

2} It takes two to have a conversation. So, if it’s a topic you don’t care to discuss— don’t. Walk away. Grunt. Whatever. Actually, just say whatever you don’t mind discussing, instead. As a woman, she’ll feel compelled to give her feelings on the subject. I’ve never, in my life, met a woman that could stay “on topic” without my influence, thus derailing them is easier than singing the first bar of ‘Happy Birthday’.

3} Swat her ass. Often. If you feel the need to say something to her— smack her ass, instead. Let her work it out.

4} If you absolutely must say something serious to her about your relationship— immediately follow it with something silly. Rock her emotional canoe.

5} If she ever asks “What are you thinking about?” respond: WWI fighter–planes. They’re fucking awesome.  Works for me.

 

 

But if you really, really want to talk, know this:

That’s what other men are for.

 

 

Ω

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24 Responses to ““Let’s make some honey, honey, in so many words…””

  1. 5} If she ever asks “What are you thinking about?” respond: WWI fighter–planes. They’re fucking awesome. Works for me.

    Gold. Just added that one to my repertoire.

  2. 3. I follow almost religiously. I use it as a litmus test – I.e. if she doesn’t like it she’s either not into me or not a keeper.

    4. I can’t remember exactly what I use but I don’t always give a straight answer. Sometimes I’ll turn it into a test of some sort to see how she feels about something and if she can discuss it without resorting to dismissive tripe.

    5. The longest conversations I’ve ever had have always been with other men.

  3. 2)…as I became more aware I see this all the time now.

    Women will be talking about whatever…I bring in some subject, they start talking about that subject. Well as long as it is something on their level. Start talking about complex theories and “does not compute” will appear on her face.

    4)…an earl staple. One of the few things I knew about women before I came into these parts. All serious and no fun makes women run away.

    And I’ve had more fulfilling conversations with my dad, bro, and good male friends than any woman.

  4. fighter planes, made me laugh for quite awhile. My husband is always wanting to know what I’m thinking, I think I’m going to use that one if you don’t mind.

  5. Wholeheartedly agree on #2, I opt out of a lot of conversations women start because they just want to talk about themselves and the latest office drama–like I give a fuck. As far as I’m concerned, that’s what other men and her girlfriends are for, I’m not some emotional tampon and I refuse to engage in those self-pity circle-jerks women love.

  6. Excellent song! I’ve seen Deep Purple twice, but I mostly know the Mk I/Mk II stuff.

    Surely someone said it before it got on TV, but Don Draper’s line, “If you don’t like what’s being said, then change the conversation” is one to remember here. The conversation will run as deep or shallow as you want it to.

    • “Excellent song!”

      It sure as Hell is.

      Glad you like it.

      Truth be told, I wrote the post mostly to use it.

      Though, of course, I meant everything I said.

      • Of course. I like how you pick a song to set the tone or provide backup for your posts. It’s something that isn’t done often in the ‘sphere. Like other forms of.literature, songs have much to offer in terms of how or how not to conduct ourselves. We can learn plenty from them.

      • Many thanks, Buck.

        I’m glad the extent of my efforts is appreciated.

        Truly.

  7. Okay, you are really my husband, right? This post is totally him except that he also thinks about WWII fighters and bombers. He also likes ASCII animals <8( )~~ 8(()) <{ as well as emoticons.

    And the ass swatting – he won't let me get jeans with buttons or bling on the butt because he doesn't want to hurt his hand, LOL.

    I'm pretty sure Deep Purple was my first concert; if it wasn't Deep Purple it was Ted Nugent. It was a long time ago.

    • LOL, my fish must have had HTML in it because it didn’t work!

    • That’s hilarious, the jean thing. My son has taken to swatting me after watching his Daddy do it so often. It makes me laugh every time he does it . . . at home. When he gets to doing it in the grocery store, eh . . . no.

    • “Okay, you are really my husband, right?”

      Not that I know of.

      But, then:

      I drink a lot.

      • Reminds me of a joke:

        An old man is walking down the street when he spots a teenager with a multi-colored Mohawk. The young man catches the old man’s gaze, “What? You never seen a Mohawk before, old man?”

        The man stares for a few seconds longer before replying, “Many years ago I got really drunk and fucked a rainbow colored parrot. I thought you might be my son.”

  8. […] the song came out in 1970, making Lou Reed’s lines eerily prescient. As I mentioned on 80 Proof Oinomancy’s most recent post, we in the ‘sphere and elsewhere have much to gain from studying music and literature. The […]

  9. The more you talk to a woman you can almost see the desire leaving her body via her change in facial expression.

    Noting gets her going quite like having to wonder what you’re thinking. That steed of hers will certainly start running.

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