“Do your demons – do they ever let you go?”


While speaking with Wald from the blog ‘Scarred Tissue’, I was reminded of an all too common belief in the ‘sphere.

That belief being:

Men and women are afraid of failure with the opposite sex.



Now, I certainly believe there is some Truth to that idea.

But it’s right for the wrong reasons.



See, what gets lost in the discussion is that many – if not most – fear success more than they do failure.

Sound crazy?

Wald thought that, too.

But here’s the thing:

We call it Game [regardless of who plays it] for a reason.

There are players.


And, most importantly, stakes.



Now, no one likes to end up on the wrong side of victory.

So the “fear of rejection” is a significant reality.

However, the more one wins-

The more one has to lose.



Sure, plenty of guys hide in video games and such to avoid initial rejections.

But I’d wager many more hide to avoid being divorced, forced into penury, emotional devastation and subsequent questioning of one’s entire outlook.

See, it’s fear of falling from on high.

Rather than tripping on a pavement stone.


Why do you think so many women love ’50 Shades of Gray’ and/or date low-lifes?

Because, that way, they won’t have to face the possibilty that they can’t live up to a certain standard.

Success is not a static position.

It requires maintainance.

And a lot of it.


Acrophobia is perfectly rational, once one realizes:

Even angels have fallen.



“There is no greater sorrow Than to be mindful of the happy time In misery.”

– Dante Alighieri, The Divine Comedy





7 Responses to ““Do your demons – do they ever let you go?””

  1. theshadowedknight Says:

    You said once that you would never play poker with Earl because he does not play the game, he plays the players. He looks beyond the shape of the table to the sense of the ones sitting at it. There is a level beyond even that, because while everyone is sitting at the table, the house is dealing and picking the blind.

    Common wisdom is not to hate the player, but hate the game. In one sense, if the player were not a part of the game, the game would not be played. But then, even if he steps away from the table, the house still holds all the cards. Do not hate the player; hate the house, and flip their table.

    What I see is a game that I never win, because when I am up, they stack the deck against me. The rules change to prevent me from taking my chips and walking. If I chose to play their game, I have to abide by their rules, whatever they may be at any point in time.

    Do not hate the player, pity him instead. While he plays a game he hates, he is all in, and stuck there. Nevermind the game; play the house. They are as invested in their game as the players. They think they run the game, but only if you take a seat, so take a stand. Count the cards, not your chips. Play by your own rules, and cheat. As stated before, flip the table.

    Thanks, Ace. You do good work.

    The Shadowed Knight

  2. You have pointed out that males have hypergamy as well (which is something I knew of before but never had a word to latch onto). With women it is getting the guy with high social status…with men it is working within his abilities to get into high social status.

    It is a tough fall from grace should you get to great heights and then lose it all.

    And one of the reasons I really like this song.

    • Earl,

      “It is a tough fall from grace should you get to great heights and then lose it all.”

      I know.

      And I say that with more honesty than you can imagine.

      PS – Soundgarden is awesome.

  3. […] people fear romantic success more than failure? Related: Humour: 5 ways you sabotage your love […]

  4. […] “Do your demons – do they ever let go?” (Dio – Rainbow in the Dark) […]

  5. Video is dead; try this one.


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