“I’ve learned more about the blues in two weeks with you…”






A statement I’ve heard three times since publishing ► this article ◄ is:


“What am I to her?”


I’m going to answer here.


And nobody will like it.


But first, let’s go over a few things.




Realize: women, on the whole, dislike commitment (contrary to the constant projection).


Because women benefit tremendously – emotionally and materially – from a plethora of options.


While men, on the other hand, do not. 


Since men are far more frequently the giver rather than the receiver.




Understand: commitment closes doors.


Accordingly, at its root, commitment is beneficial to men as it means resources – emotional and material – go to fewer individuals (women).


To women, it’s the opposite – for the aforementioned reason.




Thus, unless she’s damn certain she’s acquired exactly what she wants, back-burners are left cooking.


Commitment, to women, is a way to lock in their success.


No more; no less.


Think of it as a “save point” in a video game.


Come what may, she has that stable resource/supply.




This leads us to the promised answer.


So let’s get it over with, shall we?


If you don’t know what you are with her—


you’re nothing special.







11 Responses to ““I’ve learned more about the blues in two weeks with you…””

  1. There it is, boys.

    You have work to do. You know what that work is. Go do it.

    She has nearly unlimited choice but not much time; but eventually she HAS to choose. You will NEVER have the abundance of choice she had, but also nowhere near the urgency.

    So be patient, be busy, and be encouraged.

  2. After reading this post:


    Irrefutable. Only the strongest of emotion can temporarily override logic on this one (only when you get a confirmation that hurts worse than the pain of knowing).


  3. Second thought – this post is one of the reasons people advocate waiting until the girl asks “what are we” before taking her as your girlfriend.

    It has to be her decision, that you allow (if that makes sense).


    • Men display, women choose. When she has chosen you, she won’t hide the ball.

    • Saw a woman respond to a tweet from Dynamic Man about this exact phrase. She said that when women say this they’re looking for leadership. So thought I’d throw that in.

      • Oh yes.

        Both times (if not more that I’ve forgotten), a woman asked me this, she 100% wanted a relationship.

        The first girl I remember asking me that I ended up making her my girlfriend the next day and dating her for almost a year and a half.

        The second girl, I told her I didn’t want a relationship because I was about to move out soon to Ft. Benning (the army called) and she broke off relations (though not bitterly).


  4. I just don’t care at this stage with modern American women and anyone who does I find confusing.

    Right now I’m surfing the decline. Seeing a women nearing the wall, she’s been told of a lot of my views, I even told her I didn’t think this was a good idea and it will end in tears but she still wants to play.

    Dating here is a terrible joke none of them have the courage to laugh at as they destroy themselves further and further.

    • I once told a woman, at the point we were 90% disrobed, “maybe we shouldn’t do this.” We lived far apart and nothing was going to develop from it. Didn’t slow her down at all. At the time I thought it was remarkable. We exchanged a few emails after I went back home then contact tapered off quickly.

      As the kind author of this blog has noted, women are inveterate gamblers. They definitely live ‘in the moment’.

  5. Late to the party, but a smart pal of mine recently came up with this koan: “men save as, women save.” Seemed germane to the post.

    • Shades,

      That’s definitely a good one.

      Thanks for sharing.

      And no worries.

      Better late than never.

      Just like this reply to your comment.

      Stay well,


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