“Well, no one told me about her; how many people cried…”






If I had to choose the sentiment most voiced by men – of all ages – when they come to me for advice regarding women, it would be this:


“If it’s this must trouble get and keep a woman, then it’s not worth it.”


Admittedly, it’s phrased in myriad ways but – as I said – it all boils down to that conclusion.


How I respond differs between Type One and Two speaker.




If it’s someone I feel won’t bother listening to me or has previously hand-waved my wisdom away (Type One), I tersely retort:


Then stock up on tissues and hand lotion; you’ll need them.





If it’s someone that is genuinely frustrated yet remains open to useful information (Type Two), I calmly say:


Think about how much work you put into getting a good job.


Or a nice car.


Or a trip you’ve been anxious for years to take.


Do the math on exactly how many hours you’d need study to accomplish or earn to afford your desire.


Got it?


OK; final step.




Realize that – potentially – this goal will give you healthy children, a loved one to stand beside you during both the best and worst of days, a regular sexual partner, someone in whom you can confide fears and dreams, someone to care for you when your ill and laugh with you when joyous (and with you when you’re ill, too, if your lucky).


How does a trip, career or car stack up to all of that?


And that’s just for starters.


I haven’t even gotten to the best part yet [that’s next week’s post].




So, whenever you get frustrated, remember:


You can turn around and march back any time you like.


(A decision just as viable as the alternative, no doubt.)


However, before you decide:


Be sure you have a crystal clear picture of where you were headed and, most importantly—


Where you left.







2 Responses to ““Well, no one told me about her; how many people cried…””

  1. john smith Says:

    I stood upon the mountain top of what God had meant the physical joining of his children, a man and a woman, to be. An experience beyond the physical, a realm of the ethereal. A state of being poets cannot describe.

    I gazed down upon the cloud tops. She held my one hand while my other grazed the hem of His robe.

    I was transfixed in a world not of this world.

    Then, out of the blue, out of a darkness I could not see or comprhend, for my sight and my soul had been blinded by the purity of what I saw and believed and knew, a devastation beyond imagination raged upon the mountain top.

    My one hand was not holding hers. My other was not grazing the hem of His garment.

    She was downstairs rifling through my checkbook while He was laughing at my ignorance and stupidity.

    But I refuse them both. They both laugh at me in their also imagined victory. Yet, there I remain, silent, bleeding, unbowed, upon the mountain top, unknown and unimagined by her, and in a realm betrayed by His omnipotent finger.

    I am a man. That is all I am, or ever will be. I know love and I know hate. I choose love, even though the fires of Hell may be my fate for such heresy. What a price to pay. What more could be asked, or demanded, of a man? The final question. And the final answer is …….

  2. I once thought (purely as a thought experiment): what if I became a eunuch? What if I simply told the doctor “take off the danglers, I’ve reproduced and don’t want to be bothered and distracted anymore”. I can also be inspired by spiritual and intellectual things, so why not?

    But dammit, the chaos can be fun too. And what if the itch doesn’t actually go away? Now the means of scratching it are gone forever.

    In a relativistic modern world, it’s ludicrous to say that this ongoing biological war dance isn’t part of our ‘purpose’. It’s actually more relevant than space travel and robotic servants. Those things are cool but without people there is no future where they can exist. So we have to play the game.

    But at least we have the rulebook again.

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