“He’s dancing on the breadline…”

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Regular commenter JD writes:

 

“There is no upper limit to the price we will be expected to pay. Women and society don’t even regard this as a transaction. They tell us what they expect from us and wait to receive it…

 

We have nothing to prove to Women or Society. They’ve been strip-mining us for decades.”

 

While I believe the comment is worthwhile in its entirety, the final line leapt out at me.

 

 

 

Every day, as I move through the world, I see countless folks lost in themselves or some petty dopamine-pumping distraction.

 

Faces glued to phones; each a Narcissus gazing longingly at the luminescent pool of self-congratulation.

 

News outlets and pundits choosing the target of the day for insufficient zealotry or failing to meet some exponentially increasing level of standards they themselves couldn’t reach with a guidebook and a ladder.

 

Each cutting the other down to appear that much taller.

 

It’s a sorry state of affairs, to say the least.

 

Yet, there is a two-pronged, silver lining to this ebony storm-front, should one choose to look carefully.

 

 

 

First, so many demands are placed on men today, they’ve ended up with none (save those they choose to apply to themselves).

 

Think of them as a soldier constantly being given contrary orders.

 

Sure, he can’t win.

 

But neither can he actually lose.

 

Since, either way, he’s following – and failing to follow – instructions. 

 

Causing his commanders no end of frustration as each of them attempts to use him for their purposes.

 

All the while, giving our exemplary soldier less and less reason to re-enlist.

 

And giving him more and more reason to dissuade potential recruits.

 

 

 

Second, having been pushed to so low a status, he becomes (at the individual level, at least) invisible.

 

Resulting in no one really caring about a man’s failures or successes (after perhaps an extremely abbreviated initial moment at discovery).

 

Sure, they may mock or congratulate him for a brief time, but the dopamine junkie will need to move on quickly to keep chasing that particular dragon.

 

Addicted to news feeds and Facebook games; Netflix and internet spats.

 

Not to mention the detractor’s own concern with “winning the rat race”.

 

In fact, one needn’t have the willpower to forgo concern for what others think of him.

 

It’s painfully evident they rarely spare him a thought.

 

 

 

Now, none of this is to say a man shouldn’t have his own standards.

 

Goals.

 

Ambitions.

 

He certainly should.

 

But don’t worry about failing to measure up, now and then.

 

Since most of those that judge you are standing on someone else’s shoulders.

 

 

 

 

 

6♥