“…and love the light that brings a smile across your face.”






Some time ago I wrote of the almost inexplicable ► quality ◄ women possess to bring contentment to a man.


I’d like to take a moment to mention a powerful card in the hands of women that is all too underutilized in their dealings with men in this day and age.


I’d argue it is – in fact – the most efficacious one they have.


More so even than sex.


The quality or facet to which I allude is:






While sex – and to a lesser extent charm – are the royals in the female hand, the ace is gratitude. 


Certainly, it can be a low card if squandered on abusive men.


But, barring the constantly mentioned (yet far less actually encountered) brute, appreciation is a high card in the female side of the game.




It takes little to no effort in assessing such to realize simple gratitude earns not merely a high percentage of its offering but exponentially greater rewards than it is as offered.




The return on being a grateful woman is far more than the appreciation invested.




Simply observe how much women get when expressing minimal (if that) appreciation.


Then take note how many – and how vociferously – men throw themselves into anywhere from inconvenience to danger just for a coquettish, softly vocalized “thank you”.


This observation alone indicates there is something ingrained in the male psyche to tie oneself up in knots for an internal chemical reward of staggering effectiveness.


[As a relevant aside, I believe sex to be weaker – on its own – as:


1} Sex is often a manifestation of appreciation and


2} Sex becomes less appealing as a reward as age sets in for both genders; sincere appreciation never goes out of style.] 


Indeed, when abused (and used intermittently), it is this quality that will have men literally killing – themselves or others – to gain mere scraps of it.


However, my intent here is not to be negative.


When used with humility, love and genuine concern for a man (and his life, in general) it is this quality that will fire his ambition and have him reaching the ► gates of Heaven ◄, itself.




I’ve known less than a handful of women that understand the True power of this gift of theirs.


I was reminded of one when, serendipitously, she contacted me as I was working this post out in my head.


During that conversation, she mentioned how she’d do dishes and clean the rental home the morning after parties three male college friends had, to which she was invited.


The men would fawn over her for those simple acts.


So much so that, later, one of their girlfriends noticed and said, with some vitriol, to her something very much like:


“All the guys want you.


Even my boyfriend.


It doesn’t make sense.”


To which she replied:


“I listen to men.


I enjoy listening to them.


It’s only right that I should give back for things they give me.


It’s not hard.


And if I wanted your boyfriend—


I’d take him.




Though perhaps immodest, she wasn’t arrogant.


Since she wasn’t wrong on a word of it.







9 Responses to ““…and love the light that brings a smile across your face.””

  1. A woman like that always has her pick. It’s so ridiculously easy for them to be in that position. Women indoctrinated from puberty to be adversarial to men can also be surrounded by men, but will always end up lonely.

    “Men only want one thing.”
    “No, they only want one thing FROM YOU.”

    “All the good ones are taken.”
    “They usually are. Why didn’t YOU get one?”

    The stereotype is that men are the ones who have to do all the performing, clowning, entertaining and demonstrating ‘value’.

    But in reality, women are auditioning too. No matter how beautiful, they’re all going to wind up somewhere in the end. A woman who truly ‘likes’ and ‘respects’ men isn’t likely to be promiscuous because she knows and cares about their respect in turn.

    She understands that men are far more steadfast and powerful allies than women will ever be. They’ll bang her slutty friends but worship the ground she walks on. How is that anything but Power?

    • JD,

      “She understands that men are far more steadfast and powerful allies than women will ever be. They’ll bang her slutty friends but worship the ground she walks on. How is that anything but Power?”

      A statement I have made (in my own words, of course) many, many times.

      Warmest regards,


  2. Sarah MacLachlan’s best song.

    My wife took this approach herself. Be appreciative, at least act like you care and show some attention and you can have exactly what you want.

    “My love, you know that you’re my bestfriend, know that I’d do anything for you. “

  3. Eduardo the Magnificent Says:

    And if I wanted your boyfriend—I’d take him

    I guarantee this stung her friend more than the realization she was being a bitch. She was basically telling her “you have a boyfriend nobody wants.” Which to a woman is a fate worse than death.

    • Eduardo, that is an excellent point. If she is that much of a bitch she probably DOES have an undesireable boyfriend.

    • “I guarantee this stung her friend more than the realization she was being a bitch.”

      Of course it did. That’s the ultimate female-female shiv, a combination-punch sequence of 3:

      1. Reminder: you’re way below me in SMV.

      2. You’re not my friend (if you were I wouldn’t say this to you), which means you won’t even get my close rejects from hanging around me.

      3. Your boyfriend therefore falls beneath the category in #2 (may or may not be true here, but the hamster will hear that per Eduardo).

      I’m surprised our esteemed host didn’t cue up “Jolene” for this one… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iecixko7HbQ

      • Joe,

        Great breakdown of the subtext.

        Sincere kudos.

        As far as ‘Jolene’ goes, just keep a lookout.

        All the best to you & yours,


    • Eduardo,

      Excellent point.

      All the best,


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