“I can tell you’re trouble but I still want a taste…”

 

 

 

 

 

Female reader ► @PDGumshoe ◄ asks:

 

1} What’s the difference between how men and women value physical attractiveness?

 

2} How does that valuation expose people to being hurt? 

 

While the first question has, in some way, shape or form been answered many times by many different bloggers, I’ll answer it regardless.

 

I was asked directly, after all.

 

The difference between how men and women value physical attractiveness is a little more difficult to see, these days, as an increasing number of women struggle to be more mannish in their (witnessed) actions and behaviors.

 

However, like so many façades of modernity, it quickly falls away.

 

 

 

First, let’s mention how each sex generally defines “physical attractiveness” as embodied by their opposite.

 

“Physical attractiveness”, to men, is generally a certain waist to hip ratio, the presence of anatomic symmetry and other fertility/health cues such as clear skin and long, healthy hair.

 

“Physical attractiveness”, to women, is generally indications of strength and durability, i.e. solid musculature, height (for intimidation/dominance purposes) and facial hair to primaly indicate sexual maturity; anatomic symmetry is also important, although still somewhat aesthetic in value.

 

That’s sufficient for our purposes.

 

Now, lets answer the first question posed.

 

 

 

Men, on the whole, primarily value physical attractiveness since it is comprised of – as stated – strong indicators of a specific female’s fertility.

 

This is foremost because, historically, men have both defended and provided for themselves.

 

Thus, by process of elimination, successfully creating progeny is the only Truly basic drive they can’t complete on their own.

 

Therefore, physical attractiveness holds the importance it does.

 

 

 

As for females, now that the state (in modern, Western nations) has defended and provided for women, physical attractiveness – as an aesthetic – has moved up the importance ladder.

 

However, this is temporary (at best) and easily knocked off its rung.

 

In fact, it’s more of an indulgence by high-status, comfortable women than any actual trend within the sex, itself.

 

Rank and file women still default to defender/provider cues, on the whole, since – apart from the flicker of a candle’s flame the wealth and abundance of modernity is in human history – they have been crucial in female survival.

 

As a de facto and/or practical difference:

 

A male’s physical attractiveness is little more than a door to his opportunity.

 

A female’s physical attractiveness is her opportunity. 

 

Onto the second question:

 

“How does that valuation expose people to being hurt?”

 

 

 

This question is – by far – the better of the two and I’m compelled to say it’s one I’ve honestly never seen asked.

 

It’s honestly a bittersweet joy to answer.

 

As for female exposure to harm due to the valuation:

 

It certainly increases her odds of entering a tangled relationship with a narcissist or a man with serious rage issues.

 

But, even then, it’s still largely innocuous as an actual, physical danger.

 

[Anecdotally, I’m a very physically imposing man yet I’ve never once struck a woman beyond her bedroom requests.]

 

Its danger, however, lies more in emotional and temporal damage.

 

A woman may endure more infidelity and waste more time with him than she otherwise would.

 

 

 

Men, on the other hand, suffer immensely from this valuation.

 

It opens more doors to horror than I could possibly type here.

 

(See the title of this post, as it – like all my titles/posts – was carefully chosen.)

 

The more attractive the woman, the more bad behavior a man will tolerate.

 

As an aside, this is also why women believe men like “bitches”.

 

We don’t.

 

We like smoking-hot women.

 

We just put up with their shit more readily (and foolishly), it pains me to say.

 

I could continue describing the pits of suffering into which men would willing jump, but Leo Tolstoy put it best, in his work The Kreutzer Sonata:

 

“It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.”

 

To which I add:

 

…and how eternal it remains.

 

 

 

 

 

7♦

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11 Responses to ““I can tell you’re trouble but I still want a taste…””

  1. My bad luck with night clubs and the women that like that is the dark horse when it comes to my overall fortune with women.

    For it predisposes me to deal with women who, though attractive, don’t treat me THAT bad.

    I hope that doesn’t sound like bragging. That’s not how I meant it. It just seems I get to learn my lessons more through my own mistakes than mistakenly tolerating bad behavior.

    Wald

    • Wald,

      I didn’t take it as bragging in the slightest.

      Simply statement of fact.

      “It just seems I get to learn my lessons more through my own mistakes than mistakenly tolerating bad behavior.”

      I can see how that could be perceived as either better or worse, depending on the lens through which it’s viewed.

      All the best to you,

      A♠

  2. A♠,

    Beauty and aesthetics have a sort of ‘zen’ to them. The ancient Greeks constructed their temples according to the Golden Ratio and had specific dimensions for the ideal body. Hence why attractive and fit men and women are compared to Greek ‘gods’, ‘goddesses’ and ‘Spartans’.

    Female beauty is both stimulant and tranquilizer. Nowadays the stimulant part is blasted at us from every billboard, screen and pair of yoga pants walking down the street.

    Seeking the tranquilizer part (touch, dopamine, validation) is why men throw their lives, treasure and souls before their feet … even if those feet are only pixelated images on a Twitch stream.

    “A woman may endure more infidelity and waste more time with him than she otherwise would.”

    Women also throw their fortunes, lives and souls before the feet of some men. With the mass attention they receive in their youth it’s easy to see how they feel they can afford to ‘gamble’ with this narrow window trying to turn mechanical bulls into a more exciting form of draft animal. Because in the end, she’s still trying to rule him.

    The mirror image of men trying to turn a beautiful ‘ho’ into a ‘housewife’. Crawling through the desert towards a mirage.

    “A female’s physical attractiveness is her opportunity. ”

    I’m old enough now to have seen two generations’ worth of beautiful 20 year old girls go out into the world and burn their lives to the ground. They could have been models; they could have ridden in private jets and limousines. They certainly could have had better husbands than they ended up settling for, if they found one at all.

    Not a few of them became drug-addled scarecrows. My first steady girlfriend was a beautiful kewpie doll with enormous blue eyes. The shock and sadness of seeing her twenty years later still haunts.

    And lastly:

    “It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.’

    For all their glorious beauty, Greece and Rome were brutal, pederastic slave societies. If enough men and women don’t snap out of their trances the Church will be living in catacombs again.

    • JD,

      “Female beauty is both stimulant and tranquilizer…

      Seeking the tranquilizer part (touch, dopamine, validation) is why men throw their lives, treasure and souls before their feet … even if those feet are only pixelated images on a Twitch stream.”

      This observation of female beauty’s dual nature is excellent.

      “Women also throw their fortunes, lives and souls before the feet of some men. With the mass attention they receive in their youth it’s easy to see how they feel they can afford to ‘gamble’ with this narrow window trying to turn mechanical bulls into a more exciting form of draft animal. Because in the end, she’s still trying to rule him.”

      While I agree with spirit of the statement here, I feel it necessary to make something abundantly clear:

      Throwing everything they have before the feet of some men has, the overwhelming majority of time, precious little to do with said male’s physical attractiveness – which was qualifier to the question asked of me.

      “The shock and sadness of seeing her twenty years later still haunts.”

      I understand you more than I’m comfortable explaining in a public venue.

      I’ll save it for a phone call.

      Sincerest best,

      A♠

      • A♠,

        Regarding your clarification, completely agree. As we exchanged on a previous post, a man doesn’t have to be ‘good-looking’ to ‘look good’. Many factors involved.

        Call anytime, man. Always good to chat. – JD

    • JD,

      “Regarding your clarification, completely agree. As we exchanged on a previous post, a man doesn’t have to be ‘good-looking’ to ‘look good’. Many factors involved.”

      I figured you knew it but wanted to be “abundantly clear” for the benefit of third-parties.

      All the best,

      A♠

  3. Roman Lance Says:

    I think the Tolstoy reference can be rendered in modern fashion as:

    “Makeup, moreover hiding a disfigured countenance, hides a corrupt mind.”

    Roman Lance.

    • Roman,

      I’d phrase it:

      Makeup can hide a corrupt mind just as well as an imperfect countenance.

      Regardless, thanks for the line and contribution.

      All my best to you and yours,

      A♠

      • Roman Lance Says:

        I suppose I should have placed a “can” before “hide”. I was trying to be poetic…of sorts.

        That would have in improved it a bit by leaving open the possibility for some makeup clad vixens to be actually decent people.

        Thanks.

      • Roman,

        No trouble.

        I certainly didn’t mean to disparage your work; merely polish it a bit.

        All the best,

        A♠

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