“I don’t wanna be saved, I don’t wanna be sober; I want you on my mind…”

Q♦

 

 

 

 

One of the biggest mistakes a man can make is commiserating with a recently separated woman (if the separation was undesirable to her – this qualification is crucial).

 

It’s a common error.

 

Lord knows I’ve made it more than a few times myself.

 

Understandable, of course, from a male perspective since – on the surface – it would appear to be a supportive act.

 

However, look again.

 

 

 

As we cast our gaze back to moments we made that particular error, recall a few things:

 

1} Women communicate via ▶ subtext ◀ far more than they ever do overtly.

 

2} To women, a ▶ sense of humor ◀ is not crafting and executing jokes; it’s a refusal to take life too seriously.

 

3} The ▶ nature of love ◀ from each sex differs significantly.

 

 

 

What needs to be understood is that the ongoing vilification of a (former) lover by the female in question is not an exhortation for the benefit of others.

 

It’s not an alarm.

 

It’s not warning.

 

It is a shedding of skin.

 

 

 

The purpose of the process is not actually to destroy him in the eyes of others.

 

(Not in this exact context, at least.)

 

It’s to disentangle her from the numerous, invisible – yet extraordinarily potent – threads that ▶ bind her to him ◀.

 

Cutting him is cutting the strands tying the two of them.

 

 

 

This is also why women never react well to men who join in on the attacks.

 

In fact, this is the reason women will often turn on those men who do.

 

It’s viewed – by the females in question – as a move to subvert the efforts to such a man’s [the commiserator’s]  benefit.

 

In short:

 

Instead of letting her free herself, he attempts to rebind her.

 

Specifically, to an unrequested and unwanted replacement.

 

 

 

Is the aforementioned vilification just?

 

That’s immaterial to this conversation.

 

She feels the need to break with him.

 

So she does as she must.

 

She always does.

 

And she always will.

 

 

 

Q♦