“Pay no mind to the battles you’ve won…”
K♠
Even your losses will become victories.
I promise you.
Truly.
Most in this arena write regarding young men and their desires.
I’ve no issue with that fact since young men are in dire need of guidance in any era, especially ours.
But I resist confinement of topics.
No boy remains young.
No man remains immortal.
Everything passes.
So permit me, please, to reiterate:
Even your losses will become victories.
Should you choose to examine things carefully.
The women that rejected you will not haunt your nights decades later.
You tried to win them.
Their rejections were merely stones in the river, slightly altering its course.
They did not cease its flow.
The tests you failed taught you lessons.
They did not end your education.
The suffering you endured did not stop your journey.
It simply caused you to watch your step more closely.
I solemnly assure you:
Failed efforts – as a man’s life edges ever closer to its end – hurt nowhere near as much as the memory of unmade attempts.
No, there is no end to risk and pain in this life.
Yet, there needn’t be an end to meaning, either.
The oubliette in which you find yourself is cold, dark and claustrophobic.
Yet, the fingers bloodied and numbed by scratching at the walls fail to tactilely reveal:
The key to escape is in your ensanguined hand.
It’s your choice.
It always has been.
That’s what I’ve telling you—
All these years.
80-Proof Oinomancy 
December 16, 2018 at 11:28 am
I’ve got to admit, I’m still haunted on a regular basis by memories of ex-girlfriends both that I left and left me. Doubly so by those who have since left this mortal coil.
Leaving them in the past is much easier said than done but it can be done.
BTW, great call on Puscifer. They never got the love they should have.
December 19, 2018 at 3:04 am
Sean,
“Leaving them in the past is much easier said than done but it can be done.”
Agreed 100%.
The point I was attempting to make regarding them (via my wording) was that their rejection of you was entirely out of your hands. They chose. If you chased, you can sleep soundly. If she was/is tragically taken from you, it’s also beyond your capabilities to remedy.
In brief: If an impassable avalanche blocks a road before you, lamenting not walking it is an unfair prosecution of self.
And thanks for your musical support.
Greatly appreciated, as always.
Sincerest best wishes,
A♠
December 16, 2018 at 1:01 pm
A♠,
The oubliette takes on many forms in the modern world –
Interest-only mortgages
Toxic family relationships
Ill-advised marriages
‘Man-caves’
Alimony slum apartments
The chains have labels on them like ‘Duty’, ‘Obligation’ and ‘Maturity’ but the labels are worn and were carelessly made with a quick application of spray paint on a well-used stencil.
They aren’t even our own personalized chains. They were worn by other men who either unlocked them themselves or were carried out in the end. At least the Man in the Iron Mask was confined because of WHO HE WAS; we’re confined because of WHAT WE ARE.
I’m a middle-aged man starting over from Ground Zero. ‘Zeroed Out’, as Rollo terms it. I’m that guy.
And you know what? I’ve bloody well started over. How could I not take this education and these callouses and build my own tower and plant my own vineyard?
Job was a godly man who had it all, lost it all and then got it back tenfold. Why? So all of Creation could see that not all suffering is because of ignorance and sin. Sometimes there’s a divine purpose in it.
When God appeared and bawled Job out in the depths of his misery the only thing Job cared about is that God actually spoke to him.
Evil has thrown in the kitchen sink to make us curse God to His face. Evil is All-In; nobody sitting on the benches over there. They’re going for it.
So pick a side, everyone, and get stuck in.
JD
December 17, 2018 at 7:32 am
Pucifer is a good choice. Never knew them, but I’ll look into them.
Just want to say that I can’t agree more about this post. I always thought my losses and the lessons I learned from them made me more the man I am today than my successes.
Hell, it was loss that got me into this sphere, and loss that made me alter course (for the better I think).
Loss again has changed my life. Not for the better right now, but if I learn the right lesson, it could be one of the best things that will have ever happened to me.
Wald
December 19, 2018 at 3:05 am
Wald,
You got it in one.
Stay well,
A♠
December 22, 2018 at 12:36 am
Figures, the recent loss of (toxic) social media allows me to sleep better at night not worrying about the past adventures.
Someone once shared me this maxim which has stayed with me to this day, which may prove good for those who read here.
“You either win, or learn.”