Archive for January, 2019

“I want to tell you, pretty baby, what I see I make my own…”

Posted in Uncategorized on January 30, 2019 by A♠





The acronym “IDGAF” is likely known to just about every single person reading this.


How they learned its meaning may vary but they know, all the same.


The most probable means, in our case, is through the ‘sphere.




Indeed, the aforementioned attitude is encouraged by countless would-be gurus and newbies alike.


And, in fairness, it sometimes works as advertised.


Yet, in their hurry to share this effective revelation (I use that phrase loosely), I believe most miss the actual point of it.


See, the power of IDGAF isn’t that ⁂ a man doesn’t care ⁂.


It’s that he doesn’t care what she or, more accurately, ⁂ conventional persons ⁂ think.




Men all across the rebellious spectrum, from James Dean to Lemmy Kilmister, EMINNEM to 50 Cent and any others you wish to name didn’t/don’t get women because they fail to invest (or, more crassly fail to “give a fuck”).


They get them because they don’t invest in other people’s expectations.


In fact, I’d wager if you look at many men that most (women) perceive as not “giving a fuck”, you’d find they have their own code they very much “give a fuck” about.


So much so, I’d argue they follow them with a great deal of fervor.




Now, those codes vary.


I’d be disingenuous to say they didn’t.


But that changes nothing.


For every code to which a man stringently adheres (and demands others respect to at least a minimal degree), there’s a woman desirous of said structure.


This is because structure can efficiently ⁂ supply guidance ⁂, emotional security, and – if firmly believed – assuredness and confidence.


Thus, it’s imperative that a man formulate his own code and follow it with discipline


Truth be told, there are reasons I adopted the outlaw persona I have – both online and IRL.


This, I confess, is one of them.




“No, she ain’t comin’ back ’cause there’s nothin’ left to come back to…”

Posted in Uncategorized on January 21, 2019 by A♠





One of the worst disservices done over the last 30 or so years to young men is this:


Advocating – or, at the very least, tacitly encouraging – clinginess and cloying behavior.


Pushing – either overtly or subtly – young men to surfeit women on indulgences and deference.


Presenting constant sharing, endless conversation and ceaseless, vocalized consideration as effective relationship strategies.


While the list of injustices dished out to men over the past century is lengthy, I believe the above to be damn near the top of the list.


Which, one should understand, is no small accomplishment of infamy.




Accordingly, the ‘sphere has strongly recommended (for a decade or more, at this point) that men should avoid being clingy.


Advice such as “grow a spine”, “be cocky” and “practice amused mastery” has been passed around so quickly and often it could double as a centrifuge.


Now, I agree with all of those recommendations (although to varying degrees, depending on the specific fellow seeking my advice).


However, my stance on this blog – from its inception – is that a man should learn the physics of the world and build the engine to drive him to his exact specifications.




A line or tactic may work for me but it may not work for you.


Understanding the reasons why lines or tactics work allows them to originate from and be tailored to suit the man in need.


Thus, I wouldn’t be the man I am if I didn’t mark the cards so my boys can get an edge in this particular hand.




Although we’re told to avoid it, what – in fact – is wrong with being a clingy man?


Well, as everything concerning women:


It’s not the action itself that helps or hinders, but what it says at a deeper level.


And clinginess is a man deeply broadcasting a semaphore message in massive, brilliant lights that could be seen from orbit.


That message is:


“I’m afraid of the world and I need a tremendous amount of help to navigate it.”


Women look to men for guidance, assurance and courage.


Clinginess signals an utter dearth of all three.


So, if there’s a worse message to send a woman, I’ve yet to read it.




Of course, like almost everything concerning men and women, what’s true for one is false for the other.


Women (unless they fuel up and drive frantically off into crazytown) are helped by being clingy.




Because it signals exactly the things I said it does.


And that attracts men.


It lets men feel needed (which is far better than being wanted, but that’s a topic for another day).


In fact, it allows men to feel as though their primal function is being fulfilled.


Not to mention it can gently sub-communicate loyalty, depending on its expression.




Fellas, it’s fine to feel frightened, confused and lonely.


Those are perfectly normal, human emotions.


Just don’t expect a ⁂ cruise ship ⁂ – as opposed to the Coast Guard – to answer your distress call.




“A smile is just a frown turned upside-down…”

Posted in Uncategorized on January 12, 2019 by A♠



“Toxic masculinity.”


If you’ve been in these parts of the ‘net for even a moderate amount of time, then you’ve heard that phrase.


Ostensibly, it’s a condemnation of male qualities which are deemed negative by certain segments of modern society.


What are the qualities in particular that are demonized [rightly or wrongly] by the phrase in question?


In brief: imposition of will, self-assuredness, boldness and, most of all, anger.


Among them, keep anger in the forefront of your mind, dear reader, for this conversation.




To a cursory inspection, the list seems a somewhat reasonable delineation of behaviors in need of curtailing.


Under other circumstances – the development of a specific child or dangerous adult – I might be open to such efforts (so long as it was utilized temporarily only and in aid of clearly targeted, finite treatment).


However, at a societal level, I see it for what it is:


An egregious power play disguised as peacekeeping.


Barring all the eventual benefits that result from the expression of listed qualities – civilization first among them – I’ll point out exactly why squelching male wrath is a grab for control.


Simply put:


Women are rewarded for their tears (by men).


Men are rewarded for their rage (by women).


That pairing dwells at such a deeply ingrained level that it’s a herculean task to avoid acting contrarily.




Even the most “red pilled” man will have a hard-wired response to give a woman what she wants when the waterworks begin to flow.


Even the most die hard feminist will try to sooth male anger (in person) as a knee-jerk reaction.


And dopamine will reward both parties heartily for their efforts.


Thus, the control granted the respective sexes by such is both powerful and nigh on undeniable.


I’d argue, in fact, they’re the most efficacious tools we possess.




Yes, I realize some individuals are able to avoid those diktats but, far more often than not, it’s only due to conscious effort or mental illness.


Nature has made the demand; she’ll not be denied lightly.


Additionally, some may say women are only doing it because they fear those men and want to feel safe.


Which I counter by saying:


Some types of safety are ⁂ entirely undesirable ⁂.


And this is one of them.



“She loved him yesterday; yesterday’s over, I said okay, that’s all right…”

Posted in Uncategorized on January 5, 2019 by A♠






When I wrote my first post of 2018, I closed it with the following lines:


“Like a deck of cards, some will be worth more than others.

Don’t blame the dealer for that (it’s the nature of the game, after all).

Since, in the end—

It’s up to you to build a winning hand with them.”


I mention this now, in my first post of 2019 , because there’s something that should be mentioned – or cautioned, if one prefers – regarding those words.


Were I to summarize it in one word, my choice would be:






Understand that life, being the poker game it is, involves many hands played, rather than just the one countless folks may believe it to be.


Certainly, a person has only so many cards (resources) at one time.


That’s not being disputed.


But as life moves forward, what those resources are and how they align to either serve or hinder (or perhaps both) that person changes as the person in question does.


Thus, it’s best to focus on the hand one is playing rather than the hands prior or potentially future.


Allowing oneself to not only be trapped by paradigms formed in childhood can be deleterious enough.


However, playing to those paradigms is both retarded [literal definition; not pejorative] and very possibly disastrous as the years go onward.




Less so, yet still a snare to avoid, is trying to achieve victory with resources no longer present or unlikely to arrive.


Disappointment at best, squandered time and means leading to failure at worst, are the outcomes awaiting the unwary there.




To close using the analogy with which I began:


Don’t try to win using cards no longer in your hand.


Understand that hand is – for better or worse – over.


Don’t try to build “four of a kind” at 40 because you had three kings when you were 19.


Don’t attempt to go for a “straight” because, when you were 25, you were so close you could taste it.


Your cards (finances/abilities/talents) have changed.


Whether they’re better or worse is – to a significant extent – a matter of perspective.




So take careful stock of what’s currently before you.


Let what is – not what was nor (to a lesser extent) what will be – dictate your strategy.


And play to the best of what you’ve been dealt.