“She loved him yesterday; yesterday’s over, I said okay, that’s all right…”






When I wrote my first post of 2018, I closed it with the following lines:


“Like a deck of cards, some will be worth more than others.

Don’t blame the dealer for that (it’s the nature of the game, after all).

Since, in the end—

It’s up to you to build a winning hand with them.”


I mention this now, in my first post of 2019 , because there’s something that should be mentioned – or cautioned, if one prefers – regarding those words.


Were I to summarize it in one word, my choice would be:






Understand that life, being the poker game it is, involves many hands played, rather than just the one countless folks may believe it to be.


Certainly, a person has only so many cards (resources) at one time.


That’s not being disputed.


But as life moves forward, what those resources are and how they align to either serve or hinder (or perhaps both) that person changes as the person in question does.


Thus, it’s best to focus on the hand one is playing rather than the hands prior or potentially future.


Allowing oneself to not only be trapped by paradigms formed in childhood can be deleterious enough.


However, playing to those paradigms is both retarded [literal definition; not pejorative] and very possibly disastrous as the years go onward.




Less so, yet still a snare to avoid, is trying to achieve victory with resources no longer present or unlikely to arrive.


Disappointment at best, squandered time and means leading to failure at worst, are the outcomes awaiting the unwary there.




To close using the analogy with which I began:


Don’t try to win using cards no longer in your hand.


Understand that hand is – for better or worse – over.


Don’t try to build “four of a kind” at 40 because you had three kings when you were 19.


Don’t attempt to go for a “straight” because, when you were 25, you were so close you could taste it.


Your cards (finances/abilities/talents) have changed.


Whether they’re better or worse is – to a significant extent – a matter of perspective.




So take careful stock of what’s currently before you.


Let what is – not what was nor (to a lesser extent) what will be – dictate your strategy.


And play to the best of what you’ve been dealt.




6 Responses to ““She loved him yesterday; yesterday’s over, I said okay, that’s all right…””

  1. Your advice here is very relatable to women (no wonder the song talks about them).

    Often many men (including myself) get hung up on past women (who will cause trouble or waste if they don’t stay in the past). They also waste time and resources for new women (also me), instead of working tirelessly towards one or two goals and picking up the women who “appear” along the way.


    *I choose appear very deliberately. Given what your Father told you, what seems to be your eperience and mine, that if a woman truly wants to be with a man, nothing will stop here. I’m starting to believe that the women you run into, all things equal, don’t ever come into your life by accident. Sure, you can “change the deck” by relocating or frequenting some haunts other than others, but it seems like these women always place themselves in your way. They make it abidingly easy to get the ball rolling.

    Not to say men should go for slutty women, but rather the other kind of easy women. Easygoing, rather, would be the term.

  2. A♠,

    Generally whatever hand one is playing at any stage of life should be bringing SOME kind of gain. Being men, those gains will pertain to the categories of Money, Women and Power – it’s rare to be completely happy/contented without having these categories somewhat in hand.

    ‘Spherians understand better than anyone that there are strategies that are no longer profitable. Now sure, some guys still win but they aren’t robust enough strategies to be generally accepted anymore.

    Particularly because we also understand that it IS a ‘game’, and it is definitely ‘rigged’.

    -Knowing the basics of Money and its proper employment;
    -Knowing the basics of Women and feminine traits;
    -Knowing the basics of Power in a masculine context;

    … and crucially, understanding where you are in relation to those realities;

    is the new basis for playing your current hand to best effect. Just as important as knowing the rules is being able to read the other players’ faces, and most of them don’t know what we do.

    Know when to hold ’em
    Know when to fold ’em
    Know when to walk away
    And know when to run.


    • JD,

      That song you quote makes more sense to me with each and every passing year.

      I suspect it will until I turn back toward the window, myself.

      Best wishes,


  3. Its always interesting to see what can be done by resourceful men playing the cards they have; however bad they may be

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