“I cast my spell of love on you – a woman from a child…”





Over the years (especially at the end of my personal blog elsewhere and the beginning of this one), I’ve mentioned in the comment sections that – in the folly of my youth – I dabbled in Satanism and the practice of magick.


I quickly abandoned the former and, with much difficulty, ceased the the latter.


(Although, being the honest man I am, the temptation to return to the latter is a constant siren-song.)


While both were foolish, I have no regrets doing them as I learned a tremendous amount about many forces of the universe that push and pull us off, on and along the path towards our destinies – both collective and personal.


Truths which are as threads through the tapestry of existence.


Small, in their own right, yet crucial to the whole of the pattern.




One such Truth is the power of “a year and a day”.


It appears in stories and legends regarding the world of the Fae, questing knights, certain Pagan and occult practices and a number of early European traditions.


Two examples of those traditions:


If a serf had fled – and remained absent – from his lord’s holdings for a year and a day, he was considered a free man.


A couple who lived together as husband and wife in Scotland for a year and a day were accorded all the privileges of marriage, whether or not they were wed formally.




But what has any of this to do with us here, at this digital, back-alley tavern?


Well, very simply, I’d tell my daughter two things:


1} Keep your legs closed. Give a man you love everything but sex. Show your value in 1,000 other ways. If he fails to appreciate those (the greater, more lasting gifts, frankly), then he’s unworthy.


2} Grant the relationship a year and day. If he hasn’t proposed by then, politely and gracefully leave him. If he doesn’t know he wants you by then, he’ll only drag you along a very rough road.




Now, in fairness, I’d say something similar to the second point to my son:


If you’re not driven by your feelings for her to propose in a year and a day, you will never be.


Leave her like a gentleman and seek another.




Some in this smoky, liquor-fueled den may disagree.


That’s fine, certainly.


But, like the thread of Truth it is:


It winds through far more than just my experiences.









10 Responses to ““I cast my spell of love on you – a woman from a child…””

  1. walderschmidt Says:

    Interesting timeline. I wonder if this is part of why it was easier to wait – people didn’t waffle on about the subject forever. A year and a day makes for a more involved, active vetting of the paramour.

    While I’d be loathe to agree to forgo sex before marriage, I concede if I only had to wait a year and a day, I could, and would do it, provided I had cursory information suggesting to me the girl I’d wait for was not a waste of time outside the bedroom.

    Only slight disagreement (not so much I disagree with you, but where I was last at) was two years. But you said a year and a day to propose, not to marry. Two very, different things.


    • Wald,

      “But you said a year and a day to propose, not to marry. Two very, different things.”

      I did.

      Good of you to read what I wrote rather than what you thought.


      All the best to you & yours,


  2. A♠,

    You’d think young women would guard their gates like Fort Knox. They literally choose the future by whom they let past them – regardless of whether it results in progeny or not, really.

    Taught to eschew accountability. Taught that offering any other kind of value is ‘slavery’. Mind-boggling, like so many other traits of modernity. Outrageous lies, boomed forth 24/7.

    We are only now beginning to teach young men to parse these offerings with a more critical eye. Committing to someone who has so devalued herself, is to devalue oneself in turn.

    One must step outside of the spiral, of the Dialectic, to not be swallowed up by it.

    Your understanding of ‘magick’ is important to your message. The wisdom of the Serpent is part of the believer’s toolbox as well.


    • JD,

      “Your understanding of ‘magick’ is important to your message. The wisdom of the Serpent is part of the believer’s toolbox as well.”

      You never disappoint, man.


      I was hoping someone would say that.

      And you sure did.

      Sincerest thanks,


  3. Ace, I think your timing and advice is correct. Or close enough to it.

    As for the dark arts, well, think on this: The Church didn’t outlaw such practices because they were foolish and didn’t work.

    • Donal,

      Colin Wilson (God rest his soul), prolific author and – later in life – occult expert said something to the effect of:

      I used to scoff at magick.

      Until I looked further and found it was very, very real.

      And not to be trifled with.

      Sincerest best to you & yours,


  4. Oh, and I have always loved that song by Heart. Note how the song mentions Mama, and not Papa. What is not said is often just as important, if not more important, than what is.

    • Donal,

      Excellent catch re: mama vs papa.


      “What is not said is often just as important, if not more important, than what is.”

      I’ve said, both here and in interviews, I write using the photographic concept of “negative space”.

      For EXACTLY the reason you mention.

      Sincerest best,


    • Donal,

      Part of the pushback against ‘Red Pill’ is precisely because men are never to be considered privy to those conversations. Papa would just get upset, he ‘doesn’t need to know’.

      Or if I’m catching your drift, there IS no ‘Papa’.


  5. I have to be honest – I’m a bit confused by this bit of advice.

    Are you saying you’d tell your daughter not to sleep with a man until she was married, and that any man not willing to agree to this is unworthy?

    I don’t know of any non-religious men in the modern era (myself included) that would agree to that. I waited until marriage to have sex for the first time (at 24), and it was one of the biggest mistakes of my entire life – as it was for many of my friends.

    It meant putting up with all manner of things (10+ years of constant sexual desire and zero satisfaction of any real sort, in my case) just to get to the “finish line” so we could FINALLY experience sex. And in many, many cases, that turns out to be not even close to worth it (sexually inexperienced, repressed adult women are not the most… exciting, to put it mildly).

    For many of the men I grew up with (again, including myself) this also meant ignoring red flags galore – no, not ignoring, that’s the wrong word – being completely BLIND to them, I should say. It’s extremely difficult to look at a woman with a shred of objectivity if she remains the unexplored Promised Land – you see her beauty, her youth, and all of the good traits that make her appear “worth waiting for”, but the negatives (whatever they may be) are completely washed out by the light emanating from the halo you’ve given her.

    Now, I can get on board with a girl making a guy wait for a bit, to prove he’s after more than a one-nighter, and to get to actually know each other a bit – but even that is going to be contingent on HIM having some experience, otherwise he’s going to pedestalize her immediately (generalization, I know – but usually true).

    Maybe I am wrong about what you meant, or wrong in my analysis. I hope you will set me right, either way (or it may be that we simply disagree, in which case I’ll still value your work every bit as much anyhow).


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