“I remember how you… shined your smile but all the while you knew we’d never last”





You’ll forgive me if I can’t find the post.


My record keeping leaves much to be desired.


But I have, in the past, stated (in one form or another):


A man will know a woman is on her way out well before she actually closes the door behind her exit from the relationship.


Although few young men (or possibly anyone, given my extended absence) read this blog any longer, I still believe it helpful to enumerate the tells (to use a gambling term, as I’m wont to do) a man can spot to give himself some time to prep for the end.


1} She criticizes less = Understand a woman feels – consciously or unconsciously – the need to correct a man; to keep him ambitious and moving forward. Of course, one must establish a baseline (to use a law enforcement term – meaning to understand the standard level of the trait/behavior in question and the frequency of its manifestation) of such critiques. Yet, should it drop below that established level, “the end is nigh” as the sandwich-boards of street-prophets proclaim in bold letters.


2} She speaks/spends time only when she has nothing else happening; during a commute, a slow day at work, a lazy afternoon = As my father said “When a woman wants a man, nothing on earth will stop her from getting him, son. Nothing.” Never have seen this disproven. Not once. The less she prioritizes you, the less she wants you.


3} She picks a fight (or fights) = Realize that this is eye to eye with the end. She wants to bail but is terrified of “being the bad guy”. She’s trying to get a rise out of you so that you behave badly, thus making you the villain of the encounter; thereby exonerating her and justifying her choice to bolt.


4} She’s more supportive in all the wrong ways = She wants you to spend more time with your friends; playfully mentions you flirting with other girls; thinks certain irresponsibilities on your part are ok (see point 1).


5} She starts getting “back into shape” = Women like shiny things and nothing gleams like new love. You may have been pushing for her to do that for literally years, but you didn’t get through – trust me.




To be clear, I don’t write this so men can “dump them first”.


Such a thing is childish and, frankly (for men), silly.


You’re going to be the bad guy that way, thus making it even easier for her.


So just sit back and let it happen.


Let her bluff so she takes the hand.


While you take the pot.




Now, none of these are set in stone.


Exceptions do exist, I suppose.


However, I personally wouldn’t put my money on that.



13 Responses to ““I remember how you… shined your smile but all the while you knew we’d never last””

  1. Excellent post. And excellent song.


  2. Glad to see you’re back, always get good insights from your posts. And truths I should stop avoiding if I’m honest

  3. As always, excellent post. We remain your faithful readers.

  4. I wouldn’t worry about your readership. We’re here as long as you write, whenever that might be.

    The last two posts today make me worry about you though. Everything good?

  5. A♠,

    The good news is, they rarely fool you anymore.
    The bad news is, you still see them trying.

    Is it even a game anymore, when you hold your cards close to your chest and can see most of hers too?

    Nevertheless, I have to say I agree … let the game play out. At least it leaves room for a pleasant surprise.


  6. Eduardo the Magnificent Says:

    Not going to say I was worried about you, Ace, but I was worried about you. Good to see you back.

    • Eduardo,

      Sincerest thanks for both your concern and your kind welcome for my return.

      All the best to you & yours,


  7. I still read, Ace, although I hardly ever comment. Got burned out by this part of the web long ago, unfortunately. But your writing is always worth the read.

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