Sometimes

5♥

 

 

 

 

Sometimes she’s not a bitch, a trollop, a harridan or a whore.

 

Sometimes she’s not demanding, derisive or dim.

 

Sometimes she’s smart and funny.

 

Sometimes she’s bright eyed, big-hearted and has a voice that evokes memories of happy childhood you never had but wished you did.

 

Sometimes she is sweet and caring and worries about you even as you tell her it’s over.

 

Sometimes she holds you and holds back her tears because she knows you break just seeing a frown play across her face.

 

Sometimes she’s the only woman – out of a parade of trysts, failed attempts and two borderlines – to really care about you and bend over backwards to prove it.

 

Sometimes things just don’t work out.

 

Sometimes she’s wonderful but you’re just different people.

 

Sometimes you cry, off and on, for 12 hours even though you’re the same guy that fell off motorcycles, had his appendix rupture and didn’t shed even a handful of tears as they put your mother in the cold ground some merciless December just because – although the gal isn’t perfect – she’s the best thing to happen to you thus far.

 

Sometimes being the man means not wasting her time and fertility.

 

Sometimes being the man means hurting the woman you love most now so you don’t hurt her a 1,000 times more when there’s kids, a mortgage, in-laws and a million other chains that bind you far tighter and far longer than you’ll ever guess.

 

Sometimes you’re glad you wrote a book on how to avoid committing suicide because you’ll look like a serious asshole if you gargle a shotgun a few years after publishing it.

 

Sometimes you wish the whiskey and cigarettes killed you so you wouldn’t have to do this.

 

Sometimes there’s no good way; there’s just the best way possible.

 

5♥

 

 

 

8 Responses to “Sometimes”

  1. A♠,

    If this is what I think it is:

    You’re right. One hundred percent.

    ‘Sometimes being the man means not wasting her time and fertility.’

    Or abusing the power to do so. The most unkind thing a man can do. Their sweetness is as much a trap for them as for us at times.

    Why do we always have to be the g_ddamn practical ones.

    Every outlaw worthy of the title still lives by a code. Kindness need not be excluded from it.

    I’m available to talk. Anytime.

    JD

    • JD,

      “Every outlaw worthy of the title still lives by a code. Kindness need not be excluded from it.”

      Spot on, brother.

      Spot on.

      God bless,

      A♠

  2. Good to have you back, though I’m sorry for your pain.

    The writing and message is gold, if it’s any consolation.

    • 5,

      Sincere thanks for your kind words.

      They mean more to me than you’d guess.

      Especially the welcome back.

      All the best to you & yours,

      A♠

  3. I can only imagine the pain, I’ve been through something similar. Thanks for sharing, stay strong. Time heals all wounds eventually (or at least ameliorates the suffering).

    • Sylvanus,

      Sharing is the whole reason I’m here.

      But your appreciation is noted and reciprocated.

      All the best to you & yours,

      A♠

  4. Somehow I missed this. Glad you’re posting again, A♠.

    Wald

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