“… you’ll see, if you just close your eyes.”
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One of the most foolish and downright insulting things I hear said by people, about whom I care and those I’ve never even met, is this:
“I’m too nice.”
Why does that upset me?
I’ll explain.
First, the individual is saying (perhaps not directly to me, but…) I don’t deserve the level of kindness they show me.
Fucking… what‽
I’m generous with my time, effort, emotional resources and, when I have them, financial means.
Now, in a way, the individual is right.
(Although, for the wrong reasons.
Which is worse than being wrong.)
I don’t deserve their kindness.
I fucking earned it.
Second, being “nice” – in and of itself – has never hurt anyone.
Ever.
Full stop.
However, being kind and generous has hurt people that:
A} Can’t afford to give.
Or
B} Give to unappreciative assholes.
So, no; no one is “too nice”.
Rather, they are too indiscriminate with their kindness.
Thus, the problem is one of judgment.
Not generosity.
Third, and finally, to forgo kindness and consideration is to cut the cycle of reciprocity.
Someone burned you in the past?
So your solution is to punish all those that enter your life after the ingrate?
Here’s a knife.
That nose of yours needs to go.
Enjoy the bleeding and the sight of 1,000 doors you just closed.
Instead of the foolhardy, self-defeating, knee-jerk reaction, try this:
Practice discretion.
Practice introspection.
Practice assessment.
Most of all, don’t let a person’s attractiveness or glibness sway you.
Sometimes silence speaks loudest.
And closed eyes see best.
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May 31, 2015 at 8:53 pm
You’ve earned what you do for yourself, and that’s as far as that goes. The problem most people miss is a limited definition of “yourself.” There’s only one person playing this game.