“You thought you made a man, you better think again…”

 

 

 

 

 

[Since tone and body language are absent via this medium:

 

The following post is a playful jab at @LuckyLothario.

 

Although the advice contained herein is both sincere and serious, I attempt to convey it in a humorous manner.]

 

 

 

One thing I hear with increasing frequency in the ‘sphere is:

 

“I only read blogs with actionable advice”.

 

Well, what is that, exactly?

 

Step by step instructions?

 

1. Bathe.

 

2. Talk to girls.

 

3. Don’t shit your pants if they respond.

 

(Actually, don’t shit your pants, regardless of outcome)

 

et al

 

 

 

Labeled pictures?

 

[EAR = NOT A PLACE FOR PENIS

 

NOSE = NOT A PLACE FOR PENIS

 

VAGINA = PENIS GOES HERE!!!!1111!!!!

 

genital_happy_hour.jpg]

 

 

 

I started this blog for three reasons.

 

1} So, in the future, I could honestly count myself among men that tried to help wake others to the reality of the world that has so assiduously been concealed from them by everyone from media to teachers to parents and preachers.

 

2} Because a metric shit-ton of half-wits with a keyboard and a working Internet connection felt the burning desire to “share the wisdom” they utilized to one time fumble gracelessly in the back of a used Hyundai with a 6. And then sell ebooks. Thus, one more wouldn’t hurt.

 

3} Most of all, the ability to say “I told you so!” to people who didn’t listen the first 2,847 times I said something.

 

 

 

Of course, being the man I am, I felt it better to discuss the larger, broader and deeper issues that confront men of all ages in a style that prompted thought and careful consideration.

 

Rather than write in such a fashion as to explain dealing with women in a manner akin to kanji-scripted 1987 stereo assembly instructions.

 

Fool I was!

 

 

 

That being said, here is some solid, actionable advice.

 

(Although, saying my previous work is not “actionable” is like saying  Taoism, Christianity and Stoicism aren’t “actionable” but, hey, there’s no pussy in any of those.)

 

Some of which is new, some is old but all of it easily implemented:

 

1} Buy a good pair of scissors and keep them in your kitchen. Stop tearing open bags and spilling shit like a baboon. Use tools; they improve life.

 

 

2} Keep a cheap, ugly pair of sunglasses in your car. You won’t want to wear them anywhere but you’ll always have safe driving conditions come unexpected glare. Happens way more than you’d think.

 

 

3} Keep baby wipes in your car. Great for cleaning yourself up after emergency repair, greasy drive-thru meals and sloppy “road head” blow-jobs.

 

 

4} Only date women that love cats. Watch how they treat them. That’s you in three months.

 

 

5} Throw a towel over your headboard. Keeps her from cracking her skull when you get carried away. Plus, things often get messy if you do it right.

 

 

6} Don’t “troll” online. Do it in person in real life. Reactions are infinitely more satisfying that way. Plus, if you reach my level, no one will know when the fuck you’re joking or when you’re serious. (Pro tip = I’m at my most serious when I’m joking.)

 

 

7} Get married before you’re 40. After that, you either lose your drive or women lose their charm. Sometimes both.

 

 

8} Find a girl hot enough that you can maintain an erection with her. Anything more than that is focusing on the wrong attributes. You have to talk with her before and after sex so a personality that doesn’t make you want to jam her in a steamer trunk and mail her to Jakarta (unless you’re already in Jakarta) is vastly important.

 

 

9} If you’re not 100% certain kids/wife are what you want, then don’t get married; buy a dog. When the dog dies, buy a cat. You’ll like them by then, trust me.

 

 

10} Understand that constantly seeking “actionable advice” is literally asking someone else to map out your path in life. So do it sparingly. It’s an adventure; don’t leave the fun parts to everyone else.

 

 

 

Pax.

 

 

 

 

 

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8 Responses to ““You thought you made a man, you better think again…””

  1. […] “You thought you made a man, you better think again…” […]

  2. When someone looks at only “actionable advice”, they generally mean they want someone else to digest the theory for them, provide advice based on their readings, give just enough snip-bits to validate the advice and move along. They don’t want to be spoon-fed, but they do want the meal ready-made, so to speak.

    To be honest, I think it’s a fair approach. Most fitness readers are there for the actionable advice on nutrition and fitness, not the theory. Actionable advice is why so many bloggers offer Q&A sessions. And, after all, we can’t always read properly into every subject. I want to keep fit and healthy, have a healthy relationship with my husband, live on a tight budget, garden successfully, tutor successfully, keep not-antisocial levels of interaction with humans who aren’t paying for my time and care for my home. But there is a limit to how many areas I can investigate the theory in. I would rather focus on dietary health (because I enjoy reading it), red pill theory (because it’s useful) and languages (because it gets me paid) for in-depth research. Budgeting I’m as much of an expert on, but only through trial and error, not through research. Everything else I read “actionable advice”. I have no idea what the mechanics behind lactic acid buildup are. But I know why it hurts, when it forms and how to ease it off with diet and massages. I don’t know why potatoes need to be continually re-earthed. But I do it anyway.

    There’s only so much time we have to dedicate to philosophy, theory and reading full studies.

    That said, some people read exclusively actionable advice on every topic, even though they have a bit more time for theorizing and analyzing. And whilst this approach isn’t as bad as the spoon-fed masses, it does suggest intellectual laziness.

  3. Hahaha

    Thanks Ace, that was a good laugh of a post. Also, people that seek actionable advice are those that seek information and place a higher value on it than on wisdom. The woman above has some good points, but the idea that how to lead, as a man, should ever be regulated to a low priority to avoid the truth of Philosophy and mindset behind it, is so foreign to me I don’t know how to interact with men that have no care for it.

    If you can’t lead a woman, you can’t lead men. Get used to pets and jobs without leadership responsibility.

    But its clear you write for people seeking wisdom. Please don’t stop or change that, it is what makes you a delight to read

  4. When I first started employing “Game” (very sporadically, since I literally lived in the middle of nowhere), I noticed differences immediately. But I had a lot to unlearn and a mountain of new things to internalize. Wisdom begets understanding, and understanding changes you from the inside out.

    Each man has to decide where this fits into HIS life. I have no appetite to “bang bitches” because I’m neither animal nor atheist. I don’t blame women for loving the current order, even though they are both exploited and the vehicle for exploiting men.

    Wisdom brings options, and options bring confidence. Those “10 women” are looking for SOMEONE to fuck, no harm in it being you.

  5. Never thought about the cat thing. Real wisdom in this post.

    To give something back: 10 things I really wish people had told me:
    a) Live where you can walk don’t drive.
    b) Own as little as possible.
    c) No TV.
    d) Marry young and religious or don’t.
    e) Avoid grains, eat no processed food.
    f) Do P90X or equiv daily.
    g) Cut spending harshly and track (especially if wealthy).
    h) Use cash & PM; keep as much off-grid as possible.
    i) Buy whole chickens and make broth soup.
    j) Live in a small house.

    • I like this list. I often hear people talk about wealth, status, etc. but true enjoyment in life, for me anyway, comes from simplicity. Being able to read and understand theories and gain knowledge instead of maintaining a large home, commuting long distances, etc.

  6. […] With an assist from Audioslave, Ace deigns to give men some “actionable advice” in “You thought you made a man, you better think again…”. […]

  7. […] Ace gives out some actionable advice […]

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