“We lived through another day, it’s a good excuse to celebrate…”

A Catholic reader asks:

“So, how did it all happen for you?”

It’s a very long story so I’ll try to give you what I believe are the most important parts of it.

Though I am very reluctant to use such terms, I am what would be called a “natural Alpha”.

I’m bright, confident, witty and extremely charismatic.

I got what my father calls “the gift of gab” from my mother.

And I got my olde school, terse masculinity from my father.

However, neither of my parents were good at being parents.

My father was a handsome man from a large, poor and dysfunctional family.

My mother was an extremely beautiful woman from a small, poor and dysfunctional family.

Why do I tell you all of this?

So that the rest of my tale makes sense.

See, getting the attention of women was never difficult for me.

As I said, I was a “natural”.

However, once I got said attention, I would revert to all the nonsense with which men these days are inculcated.

Which, as we know, destroyed everything.

Great opening.

Could never close.

Talk about maddening.

Now, add into that mixture parents that were, at their best, disinterested and at their worst, constantly depressed and/or shaming for any falter on my part.

This, of course, caused me to doubt only myself.

Never the advice or information I was given.

[There was no internet to which to turn, in those days.]

Which caused me to be the perfect bait for Borderline Personality Disordered women.

A relationship with one of those (for nine years) kept me deep and alone in self-doubt and misery.

Thankfully, she ended up finding someone even more suited to her brand of evil than I.

At the time, I was shattered but I thank God almost every day that she left.

With her gone, along with having a lucrative but very difficult gov’t job (yes, they do exist), I managed to find my footing rather quickly.

I started realizing, on some level, that my parents’ advice was worse than useless.

It was, in fact, counterproductive.

It was then I attracted a 20 yr old beauty (who literally stopped traffic).

I’d shed enough of the old ways to get her and keep her-

For 18 months.

But then I lost my job (details of my dismissal are posted on this blog).

Hypergamy, being what it is, caused me to lose her.

Having lost both her and my career, my life, worldview and pretty much everything around me was razed.

So I embarked on an extended suicide attempt by drinking, smoking and writing.

The good that came out of this was, having given up on everything –

I also gave up on the bad advice.

Blogging had me online (I’ve been doing it since 2004) often so I ended up deciding:

Before I die, let’s solve this fucking mystery as to how I got here.

(I am a detective, to my soul.)

This caused me to read ‘No More Mr. Nice Guy’ by Dr. Robert Glover.

Most important thing I’d ever read in my life.

Now understanding what had me running in circles, all those years, I started to rise from the ashes.

This caused an even hotter girl (think young Katherine Heigel) to fall for me.

We did not work out (too different), but we remain friends as she is a very sweet girl once you get past the “bitch shields” women growing up with her looks develop.

Needless to say, that gave me the confidence to continue.

Not to mention, she’d seen Mystery (the PUA) on TV and thought I’d think he was interesting.

It was a short jump from him to the ‘sphere.

That is, as you ask, “how it all happened”.

“When/does it get better?”

It never gets better.

Only you get better.

You come to realize that, at the end, there will only be two things:

You and God.

You start to realize, for better or worse, everyone and everything can be replaced.

You’ll meet another woman that will make you wonder why you thought so highly of the others.

You learn it’s rarely the hand you are dealt that is the problem; it’s how you play the cards.

Most importantly, you’ll learn that men like us find more satisfaction in our mission than anything else, anyway.

As difficult aggravating and exhausting as it may be.

Men live for their work; women live for their men.

“Will I ever be able to put her out of mind?”

Yes.

Sure, she’ll pop into your head, on occasion, and it will be bittersweet.

But you’ll know God has other things for you.

Maybe other women.

Maybe not.

You don’t get too choose.

(You certainly get to try, of course.)

But, at the end of the day:

“The steps of a righteous man are ordered of the Lord.

And he delighteth in them.”

You will find delight.

I’ve no doubt.

All the best to you.

Truly.

Semper Intenti,

– A♠

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