“Arm yourself because no one else here will save you…”






I suppose it’s only natural that a man will fight when his woman initiates such.


He’s hard-wired to respond to her moods.


While she’s hard-wired to desire conflict with uncomfortable (for him) regularity.




However, I confess to you, dear reader, I smirk and almost imperceptibly shake my head when men tell me of battles chosen, battles forced and battles fought with the females in their lives.


Not because I’ve an aversion to conflict.


[In daily life, I seek it more than most – simply to get it out of the way and move onto better things. Regardless, that’s a tale for another day.]


But because it’s such a fool’s errand.


Not to mention, the issue she raises is rarely the True point of contention in her mind at the moment.




Thus, I give you, dear reader, this advice to save so many so much trouble.


If she wants to fight—


Give it to her.


Raise your voice (don’t yell, just increase your volume as if you were giving a toast at a wedding).


Stick to the facts; they won’t mean anything to her but it’s the torrent of emotions a fight evokes that she wants – not answers.


Ignore everything she says tangentially; wordlessly refuse to be sidetracked.


Slowly increase the physical distance between you.


Keep your eyes on her at all times.






Most of all, remember the following:


Your clever barbs and witty jabs will be ineffective.


She’ll just twist your words; affixing malice and cruelty where none was implied.


Your logic will be powerless.


Reason is putty in her sculptor’s hands; molded to fit her ephemeral desires.



Yet, there remains a trump card.


It is this:


The greatest weapon in a man’s arsenal is absence.


Thus, when the conflict becomes tiresome—




The lack of your presence, either instantly or gradually (depending on the sway you hold over her), will weaken even her steeliest resolve.


She will – swiftly or slowly – realize she has been left to a terrifying fate.


That is, undefended from the merciless assaults of both the world at large and, worst of all—









13 Responses to ““Arm yourself because no one else here will save you…””

  1. […] “Arm yourself because no one else here will save you…” […]

  2. Great. I would have needed this 15 years ago. Still, it would have been next to impossible to leave my mother alone. But now I did it. What a relief.

  3. Not ashamed to say, I envy your skill at this Ace.

    This post takes me back to the early 90’s, some long exhausting nights spent running round the same circles with an ex.

    When I tried to leave sometimes she would run out the door ahead of me, or threaten me with divorce. I could never have the last word until the 2 am make-up frolicking was concluded. Then back to domestic bliss for a while.

    A man with no sense of boundaries will get wrung out like a dishrag. And I had none. The hard part is admitting that this happened to me because of me.

    • PolarWashington Says:

      Most people will never admit that. You’ve done great by understanding what went wrong.. The most important thing is, IMO, is to understand what your role is to your wife.

      As the bard reminds us, a man in his time plays many parts.

      • Very true. I definitely won’t take on another helpmeet until I fully grok what her needs are, otherwise I am doing us both a grievous disservice.

      • I can’t think of a better strategy than that, JD.

        Probably because there isn’t one.

    • I’ve many similar memories that brought me to many similar conclusions.

      But I’m sure that comes as no surprise to you, JD.

      As a side-question:

      What skills do you mean?

      The investigative ones that permit me to learn these things?

      Or the writing to express them?

      • Both, Ace. I can look back over the years and see many RP moments but the Narrative kept telling me my thinking was defective … cue Matrix speech. (If anything, the manosphere gave us a NewSpeak lingo, the ability to express common experiences with simple acronyms)

        I assume your training in investigation enables you to drill down logically to the heart of a matter. And I assume the matters you investigate are ones that arose from painful experiences. Or, for that matter, good ones … who wouldn’t want to duplicate the high points?

        I’ve been browsing in your archives for a couple of years now, and you are correct that there is more to chew on when I go back over something. I can imagine the time it would take for me to put one of these together but you do it regularly.

        If I may expand on my original statement: I envy your skill at producing these posts. But I know where the focus comes from. So I greatly empathize as well.

        We have the world we grew up in and the world as it is now, both in our minds. For me it’s like being drawn and quartered as the gulf between my parents and my children is so vast now. Society guards the Boomers’ minds because of their voting and purchasing power. It guards the Millennials’ minds for the same reason.

        Nobody guards mine. It’s freeing but utterly lonely. Imagine starting a Revolution just for something to do.

        Long answer fraught with non sequiturs, thank you as always for responding.

  4. […] just have to link this from Ace. Because… Chris Cornell. Who is my favorite new (to me, LOL) artist. Wow: “The greatest […]

  5. Interesting twist. The cost of each sex’s greatest weakness/ strength is always greater than acknowledged. To others, and to oneself.

    Nice song pick.

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