“Ain’t me, it ain’t my crime; your rap, ’cause it ain’t mine…”
Martel has a splendidly candid post:
To which, a reader-whom I consider to be the “thread winner”-gives this dialogue:
I flatter myself that anon has familiarized himself with my work:
Anon, you got it.
The real reason women don’t like guys that are emotional tampons is because it forms a negative impression of her confidante in said woman’s mind.
If she only talks to you about/when she has problems, she’ll begin to associate you with those very negative feelings [consciously or subconsciously].
This is why, even if you are in a LTR with a woman, you should never really “troubles talk” with her.
A wise man [in a LTR] listens and nods for a brief time.
Gives her non-sexual physical contact.
Reassures her things will work out.
Then changes the subject.
[If you're not in a LTR with her, skip everything; simply change the topic immediately].
See, if he’s nothing more than a sounding-board or stoic wall, he really can’t be emotionally associated with the negativity.
Note: This is also the reason many women will be with the worst example of “man” yet always forgive him or keep running to him.
He never allows her “bad moods” [wrongly or rightly] to stick to him.
Thus, she never Truly emotionally/internally associates him with “bad times”, regardless of any protestations she may offer.
Don’t believe me?
Try changing the mind of a woman in that particular situation.
I’ll be here.