“But I’ve been waiting for this moment all my life…”

 

 

It was a gentle, black-steel kiss.

The ‘O’ shape of the barrel made it so.

It reminded me of the times my father would press his lips at the exact same place on the side of my head when I was a child of five or six.

Saying:

“I wish I could take your fever away.

I’d take it myself, if I could.”

 

 

I shut my eyes.

Let one of the very few fond childhood memories I had wash over me.

Then pulled the trigger.

 

 

* click *

 

 

I sighed, relishing the potential for an easy exit.

From everything.

 

 

Some people like pain.

It grounds them.

Centers them.

Frees them.

 

 

As for myself…

I liked courting Death.

The prospect of peace.

The silence from all the bleak knowledge I possess.

 

 

I lifted my eyelids slowly.

Almost unwillingly.

And stared at the bullet sitting atop my television – seven feet across from me.

I left it there for years.

 

 

I don’t have it anymore.

Thank you.

 

 

 

Ω