“I’ve never been afraid of the wildest fights; not afraid of dyin’…”
The most poisonous and deleterious idea put forth by the ‘sphere is this:
“The one that cares the least holds the most power in a relationship.”
At best, the thought is laughable.
At worst (which it often is), it’s toxic.
What accomplishment, in all human endeavors, is achieved by “lack of caring”?
Victory in combat?
Body–building?
Climbing the professional ladder?
That’s right.
Exactly none of them.
Like all human endeavors, the one that wields the power in a relationship is the one that fears the least.
Does anyone Truly believe young, beautiful women have the power in relationships because they possess a “lack of care”?
Really?
The sex that is ruled by their emotions “cares the least”?
Am I the only one that sees that particular and glaring error?
They have the power because they are, at heart [in this one area, if no other], fearless.
They know, to their very core, they can replace a man.
Once the fear sets in later, however, things change.
Has their level of love for the objects of their affection or degree of emotional investment been altered?
Not a whit.
Only the levels of trepidation and doubt.
As a side note, this brings me to another quote I loathe:
“Fear is the mind-killer.”
Wrong again.
Fear is the mind-supporter.
It keeps the mind on the path it’s been traveling safely thus far.
Fear maintains the status quo.
What fear kills is the soul.
The desire to be better.
To be different.
To be more.
Ω
80-Proof Oinomancy 
June 11, 2013 at 10:28 am
Uh-oh! The pithy axioms have no clothes!
Fear can also be useful, such as when deciding whether or not to walk down that dodgy alley.
June 14, 2013 at 2:09 am
Never said it didn’t have a place.
June 11, 2013 at 12:58 pm
“Find out what you’re afraid of and go live there.”
-Chuck Palahniuk
There’s my quote about fear being a mind supporter.
Another quote I heard about fear came from a comedian…Christopher Titus. The opposite of fear isn’t courage…it’s faith.
The one with the most faith has the greatest power.
June 14, 2013 at 2:08 am
“The one with the most faith has the greatest power.”
Yes.
This.
Exactly.
June 12, 2013 at 1:02 am
[…] Fear and apathy. […]
June 14, 2013 at 11:42 am
[…] is also why artists, such as myself, do well. Because we wear our heart on our sleeves.” Ace of Spades Vulnerability is largely underused in the manosphere, it’s powerful with people, probably […]
June 24, 2013 at 12:03 am
I feel like a lot of deleterious memes perpetuated by the ‘sphere are not explained enough and taken the wrong way.
I feel like you simply re-said the above toxic quote in the words that conveyed the correct nuance.
Many different men have different ways of saying things and many more ways still, to interpret them. I imagine many in the pua-hate camp were victims of poorly-worded, poorly-practiced advice.
June 25, 2013 at 2:53 am
“I feel like you simply re-said the above toxic quote in the words that conveyed the correct nuance.”
Thank you.
That was my goal.
July 28, 2013 at 5:50 pm
This is the third time I’ve written and deleted a comment to this post. And every time drawn a different meaning as it applies to the “anger and apathy” post.
Is it a recommendation to kill my fear, or not identify with it, since it only hinders my personal/spiritual development?
A suggestion that the emotions I’m feeling is a guide towards those goals which I feel most passionate about, not to be overcome but observed?
To use that emotion as a driving force to overcome the fears that prevented from acting in a way that would have led instead to those feelings never having arisen in the first place?
It seems the relevant paragraphs for the answers to these questions are the second and fourth. By staying brief, you allow the words that you do write to be interpreted to fit the projections of the readers own thoughts. You cryptic bastard.
July 30, 2013 at 10:45 pm
To quote Alan Moore:
“I didn’t put you in prison.
I only showed you the bars.”
I do what I do intentionally.
You put yourself in prison.
Therefore, who is best suited to get you out?
My messages are always cryptic because the reader has the answer.
I merely provide the question in proper context and hints to the tunnel leading outside.
November 5, 2013 at 10:28 pm
[…] and Ashes posted a cryptic link to this post of his. To which this exchange […]
May 12, 2018 at 11:58 pm
[…] From understanding the importance of being yourself, to exercising, to cleaning one’s environs and to embrace/overcome one’s fear, […]
January 30, 2019 at 2:41 am
[…] See, the power of IDGAF isn’t that ⁂ a man doesn’t care ⁂. […]
April 14, 2020 at 1:04 pm
Would you say that Rollo Tomassi got it right when he framed it as The Cardinal Rule of Relationships? i.e: “In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least.”
April 24, 2020 at 4:24 pm
I’m going to bet that he’ll say, “Rollo got it half right” and emphasize the correct reasoning is, “Who fears the least.”
You can still need someone and not fear losing them if you what to look for to satisfy that need.
Wald
April 26, 2020 at 5:01 am
5k40,
Wald’s guess is correct.
That is indeed my answer.
Recall, also, that fear is not pain.
I split with the woman I mentioned in my post “Sometimes”.
Was I afraid to do it?
No.
Was it the hardest thing I’ve ever done?
Did it hurt like Hell?
Does it still hurt?
Did part of me die?
Yes to all those questions.
But I wasn’t afraid.
Best regards,
A♠