“Las palabras que dijiste cuando yo te vi…”

 

 
Thirteen years later, the image is still carved in my mind.

Like some etching by Doré.

Beautiful yet baroque and dark.

Her face…

More importantly, the expression it wore.

 

 

I’d made my second pass at her in two or three years.

In the autumn night, at the waterside near her NJ college dorm, I kissed her.

She returned it with eyes that said:

“You’re a eunuch.

How on earth could you ever hope to satisfy me?”

 

 

It was then her unreceptive lips spoke.

They mentioned she’d been exploring a relationship with her female roommate.

Even at that time, in all my ignorance, I knew better than to believe it.

Yet, I respected her choice.

Not much later, I left.

Downhearted.

Like the few times prior.

However, I vowed I’d never see that expression on a woman again.

 

 

Since, I’ve been shot down.

Been picked up.

Had one-night stands.

Been dumped.

Had long-term relationships.

Slept with two women at the same time.

Fallen in love.

Had women fall in love with me.

Been hit on.

And been brushed off.

 

 

Now, time has changed us both.

But, True to form, I’ve kept my vow:

I haven’t seen that expression on a woman ever since.

Nor will I again.

It was, in and of itself, was one agonizing death too many.

 

 

 

 

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