“…every vow you break; every smile you fake…”



As anyone that’s traveled in this corner of the web knows:

Only the top 20% of men are visible to most women.

The rest may as well be ethereal spirits, drifting across the landscape.



Another bit of wisdom follows fast on the heels of the above.

One learns of the exponential increase in the likelihood of a woman finding a new paramour when her current one is physically absent (proportional to duration).

A pattern seems to emerge.



See, there’s a fundamental concept in developmental psychology.

That concept is:

Object permanence – the understanding that objects continue to exist even when they cannot be observed (seen, heard, touched, smelled or sensed in any way).

As at least 80% of men know, going by my aforementioned points:

Women sometimes lack that ability.

Regardless of the consciousness or unconsciousness behind its absence.



Enter – the digital information age.



Secluded behind firewall ramparts and ethernet-cable fences, women appear to forget that men are all around them.




Along with countless others, these sites all induce amnesia.

An electronic Lethe, in which the constant immersion imparts forgetfulness that there are many more reading their confessions, rages, demands, diatribes, attacks and cuts than they believe.

What was once said in the [relatively] private female-only spaces, is now painted in garish colors everywhere one travels online.



See, the men that came recently before us were not fools.

The were simply – in the classic definition – ignorant.

A de facto conspiracy kept them so.

Men that long preceded them were present, constantly, physically and with far fewer distractions, which enabled the illusion to be more easily penetrated.

But, technology – that which kept us separated enough to dupe us – has come full circle.



Men are, once more, in the thick of it.

Only, we are invisible.

This is why we have been able to rediscover ancient mysteries.

Moreso, build upon the wisdom.



We are unseen.

But we are real.

We are out here.

And we’re watching.

In fact, we’ve no other choice.


22 Responses to ““…every vow you break; every smile you fake…””

  1. The first part still baffles me, even though I have seen it enough to be a believer. Cartwheel that into the current digital age, like you so succinctly did there, and it clicks. Never thought to put those pieces together. Also, with that Police song going, it really worked.

  2. theshadowedknight Says:

    The power of the female lies in deception and sexuality, and yet… How much can one truly obscure when the least thought is broadcasting to the world. What are you hiding when you are telegraphing every move you make, every smile you fake.

    It reminds me of an old piece by Kipling. It is called Tommy. You should read that, Ace, if you have not already done so. It might be of some interest, and some use to you. Let me know.

    The Shadowed Knight

    • TSK,

      Thanks for the suggestion.

      I’ll check it out this week.

      • theshadowedknight Says:

        It is one of his poems. It always resonates with me, but in this case, I see it in a different light. You will, I think, appreciate the humor.

        The Shadowed Knight

  3. Where have all the good men gone?

    They were there…you didn’t see them. But we saw you and knew what landmines you have.

    I often read their confessions on facebook, twitter, instagram, etc…just to shake out any last bits of brainwashing I may have. I find it quite funny how many of them already in their early 20s are adoring their cat. Tells me everything I need to know.

    Women used to be discrete, that was one of their charms…now it’s men that have gone the discrete route.

  4. lauratheringmistress Says:

    @earl, forgive my grammar nazi tendencies. The word you wish to use is “discreet”.

    @Ace, I’m laughing because one of my New Year’s resolutions is to blog more honestly.

    But I think I know what you’re getting at based on the problems my aunt is having with her 11 year old daughter, who is the only girl in her age cohort without Instagram (despite the clearly stated she restrictions). I get the sense that there is a large portion, possibly the majority, of that last two or maybe three generations of women who have been raised largely feral.

    • Laura,

      My issue is not with honesty.

      [I love that.]

      My issue is with “TMI”.

      • lauratheringmistress Says:

        Understood. Not a problem I suffer from. I always assume someone is watching. Good for circumspection. Horrible for intimacy.

        Dennis Prager once noted on his radio show that women callers always included extraneous detail in their stories, even when on air time was precious. TMI of a different variety.

  5. My (x)wife used to tell me “you need to be on Tumblr, it’s great” and I later found out how great it was for her when I read her Tumblr once we separated. I still remember the shock as I read post after post of the crap she was putting out there. I called her on it, and her response was first “how could you ‘stalk’ my Tumblr” … then it was “nobody knows you” … her final statement was “it’s like you’re eavesdropping on my conversations with my girlfriends”. Although she was putting the crap out there, it was comments from these “internet friends” that got me — they knew nothing of ‘our’ situation, but were there in defense of her rantings, and with lots of “you go girl” and “fuck the asshole” comments.

    I also was amazed at all the “men” on those sites with their adoration and praise of every picture some woman put up. Pre-manosphere reading, it makes sense because what woman doesn’t like to be complimented….Post-manosphere reading, well, we know how it works.

  6. Noah Saenger Says:

    Hey Ace,

    Want to send you something cool as thanks for all the good writing you’ve been doing. Leave me a note at this email.


  7. One hundred years ago, men watched women. They read and observed. Beautiful, dangerous, flighty, sometimes shortsighted, women.

    Feminism obscured this. Women’s desires were as valid as men’s all the time. We were told to ignore what we saw; that all we saw was a “construct” that could be changed or “deconstructed”.

    Now, with Facebook, Twitter, and the sphere, the truth can’t be obscured any longer. again: Beautiful, dangerous, flighty, shortsighted. Sometimes idiotic; sometimes downright psychotic.

    Like Ace said, we’re here. We’re watching. In fact, we can’t help but watch.

  8. […] his latest post, Ace over at 80 Proof Oinomancy talks about how social media sites like Facebook help women […]

  9. […] Why men are beginning to clue in. […]

  10. […] “…every vow you break; every smile you fake…” (The Police – Every Breath You Take) […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: