“…the need of strife; to struggle to be freed from hard ground”







“Why am I not surprised you showed up? Today of all days, no less.”


I’d just arrived at the back bar of the Goth club I irregularly but often frequented.


So stunned by her unusually confrontational tone, especially considering ► our past ◄, I didn’t even think to order my usual Jack & Coke with a splash of lime juice.


Instead, I narrowed my eyes -more in curiosity than hostility – asking the obvious question:


Why is that, Kiki [her nickname]?




She softened immediately, breathing more than speaking the words:


“Because my mother was just hospitalized.


And you’re the opposite of a fair-weather-friend.


You disappear when everyone’s life is going well but just happened to pop back in right after it turns bad.


And you help make it all better.


I guess you’re a rainy-day-friend.”




We laughed.


Especially so, given our black-draped, dirge-rock-echoing surroundings.


The night went on and was its usual pleasure.


But I’ve never forgotten her words.




See, one of the main reasons I dislike Facebook, specifically, and social media, in general, is this:


It gives no chance for winter to come.


No moment for clouds to gather, for rain to fall.


It’s this constant artificial environment where relationships long outlive their expiration dates.




All too often, folks stay on it to “stay in touch with friends and family”.


When, really, they should let many (if not most) of them go.


If someone needs an app with countless in-built reminders to think of one, then that’s not a friendship.


It’s a mailing list.




Now, many will argue, citing man is a social creature and we all need a support network.


But I would point them to ► one of my books ◄ (and a second within the year).


Meaning most of these aren’t a support network as they know the person of five, 10, 15, 20+ years ago.


Rarely who one is currently.


Or, more importantly, should be becoming.




As a case in point, had I stayed on Facebook:


I’d still be trying to squeeze myself in the shoes I wore 15 years ago.


Rather than the comfortable boots I wear now. 




As always, dear reader, the choices are yours to make.


But I will humbly ask that you give this a great deal of thought.


Since I Truly believe:


God, Fate, the Tao – whatever you choose to term it – will place you exactly where you need to be.


And with who needs you most.








11 Responses to ““…the need of strife; to struggle to be freed from hard ground””

  1. More often than not, these social aids turn out to be sugar-coated poison pills.

    Thier sweetness covers the ill effects long enough for them to be a tough habit to kick.

    Facebook would have been so much easier a habit to kick four years ago.


  2. When the student is ready, the teacher appears. The same applies to a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen and a great many other things. The universe is essentially a big machine, and is reactive to your inner voice.

    There’s an aspect of social media that’s misunderstood. It’s a bookmark for people when they have nothing to say, which is why it appears to be a pause in time. The education system has done an admirable job in preparing a compliant citizenry.

    That rascal universe however isn’t interested in a compliant citizenry. The last act of Facebook before it falls (and it will) is to act as a countdown clock for when the blood will run.

    • Maybe I should clarify what I meant when I said social media is a bookmark. Using Facebook as an example, on the surface it’s a diary of personal photos, opinions and thoughts. It would appear that the more you post, the busier you are. In reality, it’s an announcement that you have nothing of consequence left to experience. It’s not a testament to how much you have in your life, it’s a measurement of how little.

      Which is why I called social media a bookmark. It’s an announcement that you’ve stopped living with purpose and put your progress on hold. The day you joined Facebook is the day you put a bookmark into your own life and stopped moving forward.

      • Myopia,

        I can certainly see what you mean. If not a complete cessation (which it very well could be) then, at minimum, a serious retardation [non-pejorative] of personal growth/development. So, again, we agree.

        All my best to you and yours,


    • Myopia,

      Agreed on all points.


  3. […] over at 80 Proof Oinomancy has an interesting new post about friendship and social media.  If I read him correctly, he is suggesting that people are using social media to try and keep […]

  4. After one too many lost souls posting their motivational meme of the day … one too many young girls in full bloom waving their new fatherless blessings around for the other clucking hens to gush over … one too many feuding couples puking their emotions in passive-aggressive meme warfare instead of figuring shit out …

    … other than leaving a line open for my children to reach me if they deign to do so, Facebook is dead to me. Useless.

  5. You know, I love Type O Negative frontman Peter Steele’s last interview. Sounds like our host’s kind of guy…


    • Joe,

      He was very much my kind of guy.

      I hadn’t read that particular interview, so sincere thanks for sharing it with me.

      All the best to you and yours,


    • “I’m serious. I think I have something to say. It’s not too late. Like I said earlier, the Bible speaks in metaphor. You really wanna know about Adam and Eve? Adam created Eve, and that’s why women fucking hate men. What do you think the snake was? Look between your legs, asshole. You know how I know this? I used to work for the Parks Department and I am the gardener of Eden.”

      Summa Typonegativa. Lol gonna need a couple triple-fingers of Fireball to chew on that …

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