“No horse ever ran as fast as the money that you bet…”






More than seven years ago, I wrote of my vehement dislike of a saying that was making the rounds of the ‘sphere.


As time has passed, my work seems just as true – if not more so – now as it did way back then.


In fact, like wine, it appears to have aged to a particularly rich vintage.


Now that I’m well into my 40’s, I notice with blinding intensity that relationships are very much ruled by fear.


To be clear, I make no comment on the good or ill of the fact.


Merely that it is so.




When I was in my 20s, I had a male friend that said he had to be married by 30.


He was terrified of being alone in his journey after that particular milestone.


He, indeed, married by then.


And has been incredibly miserable since.


“My life has gone from eating ice cream to chewing ice”, were his exact words, when last we spoke.




Additionally, a couple I knew in college have recently reunited.


Easily one of – if not the most – dysfunctional relationships either of them had is now rekindled.


Perhaps things have changed after decades.


It’s certainly possible.


But I suspect it’s little more than the fact a half-century looms large before them both and, given the awful dating market for even the young, it beats nothing.




Am I any different?


Not emotionally.


I’m pushing 50 with few prospects.


I’ve just as many reasons to fear as they.


If not more.


But, as John Wayne said:


“Courage is being afraid and saddling up anyway.”


I absolutely feel the dread.


Yet I refuse to surrender.




Some may say:


“So you’re refusing to settle?


Like the ‘sphere criticizes countless middle-aged women for doing?”


That’s an inaccurate comparison.


I’m by no means expecting a 20 year old, nymphomaniac, lingerie model, heiress to the Jim Beam distillery.


(Look at the requirements stated by many women [yes, NAWALT but…]; my words aren’t as hyperbolic as you’d believe.)


I simply don’t wish to be led into bad decision by a primal instinct.


If I did that with every scary situation, I’d be handwriting this from jail due to my masculine inclination to solve everything with violence.




Some may now say:


“Ha! If all you say is true, why are women generally more prudish rather than less at late stages of the game?”


Easy (no pun intended).


Let’s briefly continue with the violence angle.


Once I break someone’s nose, they’ve no further reason to fear.


In fact, they may even discover they can break my nose.


Similarly, once a man has sex, he’s moved from hopeful to sated.


He may even discover the sex wasn’t worth the hassle.


In short:


The promise is more effective than the application.




If it helps, think of it thusly:


If you owe the credit card company $500, it’s your problem.


If you owe them $50,000, it’s theirs.


What are they going to do then?


Take back the things you bought with their money anyway?


Ok; so it was a free rental.


And if it was consumable, they cannot get it back.


Will they put you jail?


Fraud is a crime; not poor money management.


In fact, it’s why they gave you the card in the first place.


Hoping you were (slightly) bad with money.




In the end, you pay your bill out of fear.


Fear of bad credit.


Fear of being seen as a deadbeat.


Et al.


Of course, I’m certainly not advocating financial malfeasance (or any malfeasance, to be clear).


Merely pointing out that – all too often – fear is more powerful than the punishment that can be meted.




13 Responses to ““No horse ever ran as fast as the money that you bet…””

  1. Most barks are worse than the bite.

    And in the case the opposite is true…well, not much is said about those. You rarely hear girls talk about slapping or hitting thugs for a reason.

    Dating them, however, is another story.


  2. This was a surprisingly apt post to upload today, Ace. But then again, since its you, it shouldn’t really be a surprise.

    • Donal,

      I greatly appreciate you saying so.

      I do rather have a knack for that, don’t I? 😉

      All the best to you & yours,


  3. Exactly right.
    Being alone does not cause lonliness. It’s caused by what you choose to do with your time.


  4. A♠,

    ‘I simply don’t wish to be led into bad decision by a primal instinct.’

    The irony is, if both genders governed themselves by that principle, there would have been no need for a Red Pill, Manosphere et al.

    The stereotypical woman approaching middle age comporting herself like Anne of Green Gables is trying to get back on track. It doesn’t work because she doesn’t understand (or refuses to accept) she’s already played her trump card. That train left the station so long ago there is tall grass between rusty rails.

    The man who takes the deal is more desperate than her and won’t call the bluff. Neither of them are ‘winning’. The celebrated Female Sexual Strategy is a road map to misery.

    Traditional marriage is like the gold standard – it exists in theory but unless put back into practice requires a vastly greater knowledge of the subject to prosper. Simplicity and honesty practiced by one side just makes them a target when the goalposts are mounted on wheels.

    Your approach is the correct one. I can’t personally recommend otherwise.

    All the best,

    • JD,

      “The irony is, if both genders governed themselves by that principle, there would have been no need for a Red Pill, Manosphere et al.”

      You know, I’m not sure I’d mind be out of this particular job.

      If you catch my meaning 😉

      Hang in there,


  5. Related application in a completely different field… if a collection agency calls you, the punishment they can dish out is ZERO.

    UNLESS you screw up and let the fear intimidate you, and animate the zombie non-contract. And even then, if you take the fear away you can still win. No collection. Credit notes erased. Everything.

    Here’s the why, and a detailed how, from a guy who has been there. https://www.menofthewest.net/?p=25326

    • Joe,

      Thanks a million.

      I sincerely wish I had this 10 years ago, but I’ll certainly hold it close for the future.

      One can never be sure of what’s to come.

      Best wishes,


    • Important caveat – if the debt in question is a student loan, they can do a shit-ton to you. Garnish your wages and seize your federal tax returns, for example. Now, that might be covered in the video (not sure), but I’m putting this here as a warning to any who just read the comment.

      • Joseph Katzman Says:

        Sk40 – student loan debt is a direct issue with the government these days. And yes, you’re trapped.

        The key is the *collection agency,* which is not actually collecting the original debt but has bought it. The original debt-holder has canceled the contract and recorded a loss. Under US law, you do not in fact owe the collection agency that money – you have no contract with them.

      • I agree, you don’t – in the case of the student loan though, that’s mainly an academic point; the guarantor that has contracted the agency has the power (by means of the collection agency) to submit a garnishment request to your employer’s payroll department, which they are legally obligated to comply with (quick note – if you’re already being garnished for child support or alimony, the student loan won’t preempt those – it will take from whatever is left over after the other higher-priority garnishments have been processed). The seizure of tax returns is something that is done by the IRS itself, but that the collection agency may use as an incentive to get people to pay their loan off (very few people realize that this is a thing until it happens to them). Not paying on a student loan is a lose-lose proposition. Any other kind of debt, I’m right there with you. Student loans can ruin your fucking life though.

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