“And I will plead no contest if loving you’s a crime…”

 

 

Ladies,

I wish I could say this letter was planned.

But it wasn’t.

Sadly, like so many things, it simply manifested – like a distorted Venus – from a pool of lamentable circumstances.

 

 

Now, you take a lot of flak in this corner of the internet.

Rightly or wrongly; fairly or unfairly apportioned.

Regardless, it’s fired your way.

 

 

Needless to say, you claim it comes from bitterness and envy.

To be fair, you’re correct.

But I get the sense you don’t really understand the root cause.

As I’ve said a million times – and will until I die:

You’re right for all the wrong reasons.

And that’s worse than being wrong.

 

 

See, you hear countless numbers of us berating you for your “single mother status”.

Naturally, you interpret that as:

We’re just jealous of what another man got.

However, exactly what is it he got that elicits these feelings in us, do you think?

I’m guessing you think the answer is “sex”.

 

 

Of course, that’s part of it, certainly.

But, as usual, you sell yourselves short.

It runs deeper (for quite a few of us, I’d gladly wager).

 

 

The complete answer is:

We’re jealous that some thug/deadbeat got your awe.

Your desire.

Your surrender.

Your ability to grant a legacy.

 

 

In short, we’re not jealous of what those men got, really.

We’re crestfallen at what we were denied.

 

 

The Truth that you refuse to see – whether by deed or denial –  is that many of us wanted a child.

A wife.

A family.

A loving extension of who we are and what we do.

And you – with the power to choose – didn’t choose us.

 

 

To make matters worse, no one is happy.

We aren’t.

Plus, by all indications, neither are you.

[It’s one thing to suffer.

It’s another to suffer needlessly.]

 

 

So the next time you curse your “baby-daddy” for being late to pick up the children you tumultuously share, as you stare at the empty street:

Remember, there are many men that would have gladly driven it home to you and the little ones he sired.

Because those men sure as Hell do.

And if it makes you angry or breaks your heart:

Well, now you understand.

 

 

 

 

Ω