“… and I place a nameless stone.”






There’s more advice than there are readers in our cozy, if sometimes bitterly cold, little corner of the ‘net.


Such is the limited market of Truth.


But one thing I infrequently see mentioned, let alone stressed sufficiently, is this:


The importance of male friends (for men).




See, so much emphasis is placed upon self-improvement.


Accumulation of wealth.


Acquisition of “notches”.


That simply having people that understand you; can relate to you; can share your joys and sorrows and make the harrowing march we call existence meaningful, seems to get forgotten.




Conquests may be laudable.


But who wants to be the Lord of Ashes?


How sumptuous the meal eaten in solitude?


What value has gold that cannot be spent?


Few are the pleasures as great as the act of sharing them.




Seeking a woman with which to share all of this is short-sighted, at best.


Since, being the ultimate pragmatists, rarely are they able to fully grasp the meaning of such triumphs.


(Damn near unique, is the woman that can – let alone would – appreciate something for which she did not, herself, strive.)




Not to mention, as I have said before:


Getting a man to fall in love is akin to digging a hole in concrete.


Tough to do; tough to replicate.


While getting a woman to fall in love is akin to digging a hole in sand:


Easy to do; easy to replicate.




Understand, there are no female pallbearers.


[Corpses are of little utility to the living.]


So when you die—


It’s men that will carry you to the grave.








While women do as they will.


Free to weep or gossip.


Whichever whim strikes them, at the moment.






20 Responses to ““… and I place a nameless stone.””

  1. […] “… and I place a nameless stone.” […]

  2. Truth.

    Excellent post.

  3. Timely post my friend, your Twitter last night got me thinking about this very subject. Forgive me if I’ve related this story already.

    Second marriage to a single mom (yes, I was that guy)
    Deadbeat ex, hard luck upbringing, working two jobs, three sweet little ones looking to be thrown to the usual wolves. More crusade than romance, in retrospect.

    10 years unrelenting stress before we called it quits, a week before Xmas. Moving out of my place for a second time. Living in an old apartment, above an ancient store alongside a rural highway. Howling blizzards as I wait for the crew bus to take me to my now-pointless job. So many of these journeys end in a desert don’t they?.

    Gave her a chunk of money -on credit – so she would stop freaking out. Said I’d pay the tuition so the kids could complete high school at the Christian academy in town. It wasn’t a huge bill, just a couple of years, and I wanted to finish the job I’d started.

    Her response:

    “That’s the least you can do.”

    Two months later, found the ‘Sphere through Alpha Game. Found Keoni Galt through AG. Found your blog through HL. Like most ‘Sphereans reading day and night. Not so much staring into the Abyss as waking up in it, but I’ll take light wherever and whenever I find it.

    How it can burn though. Sometimes we’re like men on fire, waving others away. Thankful for the ones that listen. Ours is a fellowship of suffering but also encouragement, hope and regeneration. Pitching in to build a ladder out of this ridiculous place we were led to.

    Upon sight of his transformed world righteous Noah planted a vineyard and promptly used the fruits thereof to get shit-faced. Don’t anybody here hate on themselves for doing same.

    Coda: My replacement was already in the wings. Five years on, our divorce has just finalized and I see she’s sporting a ring.

  4. Pedat Ebediyah Says:

    This is entirely too timely, Ace!

    For example…I decided to take a solo trip out to Nevada for my 50th Birthday…and I’ve been doing some really cool shit and going to cool places.

    Upon taking lots of nice photos and making videos, I remarked at whom I should shares these with. And while I do have women women in my sphere of influence…long time colleagues, family members, past love interests, and the wives of my male friends, I decided to be very selective in whom I share this journey with because these women don’t give a shit about my journey.

    I’ve been through a lot of crap, and I’ve decided to make 50 a memorial stone for a new chapter in my life.

    If you’re not:

    1. The WIFE of a man I trust (because I don’t respect or trust a lot of the wives of my married brothers), as I’ve tired of how they refuse to honor or respect their husbands – especially the ones who are unquestionably worthy of that esteem.

    2. A woman who has shown me the three pillars of morality (Reciprocity, Empathy, and Gratitude) during my past travails, and that pool is also very limited.

    3. Someone who is on my team, down with me or my mission…again, limited in quality and quantity.

    Then I ain’t sending you a damn thing. Not a link…not a text, not even DISCUSSING with you what I gleaned while on my 50th Birthday sabbatical.

    I made the mistake of sending a link to the shared album to a couple of marginal female associates, and the response I got was, “oh, that’s nice – thanks for sharing”.

    Most women cannot process or empathize with the male experience, what makes us men, what drives us, what gives us hope, life, sustenance..and don’t care UNLESS there is something tangible in it for them…OR they get the tingles.

    And as Sweet Brown said…”ain’t nobody got time for that”.

    I need to strengthen my ties with the men in my life (minus the white knighting manginas and AFC’s) and limit how much I allow women a glimpse into ANYTHING I’m doing with my life, and how my God is using me to make a difference in the world.

    Great stuff, bro!

  5. Understand, there are no female pallbearers.

    [Corpses are of little utility to the living.]

    So when you die—

    It’s men that will carry you to the grave.



    I do not think it mere coincidence here that it was to Adam that Death was given as a punishment, not Eve.

  6. Clawing up Calvary
    I have broken nails and thorns in hand
    Hearing hymns around me
    I hear men who understand

    Together, we weep
    Together, we fight
    Our pains are deep
    Our burdens light

    Atop the mount we hope to find
    A savior meek and mild
    A man with voice deep and kind
    A man who calls me precious child

    Our brother, down he falls
    We have found our cross
    Together our salvation calls
    We are not but dross

    Dust to dust we go
    We fight we rage we sing
    We are brothers because we know
    Of deaths deathless sting

    Women come and women pass
    Nurture what they will
    The truth ignored is crass
    What they don’t nurture they will kill

    Give me a man, a brother strong
    Over a woman day or night
    The brother will sing a song
    While the woman puts to flight

    Reverently we break the bread
    We drink deeply of the wine
    Brothers stand until the end
    And then sleep for all of time

  7. I like it for making it up on the spot

  8. Thanks you Ace

    I sifted further still for others

    But rough things take root in the wilder place

    May this version live for brothers.

  9. […] “But who wants to be the Lord of Ashes?” […]

  10. […] Good thoughts from Ace in “… and I place a nameless stone”: […]

  11. […] “..and I place a nameless stone.” (A Pale Horse Named Death – Shallow Grave) […]

  12. […] male friends. You’ll need them. Trust me. A woman is a wonderful thing to have, but ► she won’t carry you to the grave.◄ I understand, many of them will come and go. Just try to hold onto the best […]

  13. […] via “… and I place a nameless stone.” […]

  14. […] advise him to cultivate a worthy circle of ▶ friends ◀ to buoy his spirits and resolve during tough times, rather than be a lone, Alpha […]

  15. walderschmidt Says:

    If I took the last 8 years and removed all the women, they’d hardly be different. If I took the last 8 years and removed all the male friends I had, I’d be a shell of a man at this point, if not dead by choice.


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