“Here beside the news of holy war and holy need…”
↓
If you spend any amount of time at all online you can’t miss the awfulness.
The negativity.
The terror, in ever sense of the word.
The overwhelming weight of modernity.
Now, I’m not going to tell you those things don’t exist.
They do.
In spades.
And I realize most of my readers are likely older men, like myself.
But allow me to put things in perspective.
Some of what’s below is new.
Some I’ve said previously, but it both bears repeating and cannot be overstated.
1} Life will always be hard. In fact, it never gets any easier. As my father once said, and I quoted in ► my first book ◄:
“Life goes on, son. Sometimes that’s the horror of it.”
However, understand that fact only sweetens the good moments. Though they become fewer, the scarcity makes them that much more precious. Learn to appreciate the sound of the wind in the trees. The sight of a bird in flight. The eager loyalty of dog. The contented purring of cat. Those things got men through the trenches of the Somme, the mud of Agincourt and innumerable other miseries. They’ll work for you, too.
2} Find a woman with eyes in which you can see everything bright in the world. Make sure she has excellent maternal qualities; they translate to everything else. Find a gal with a laugh that rings like church bells at a wedding – full of hope, gaiety and promise. Be sure she’s cute but don’t worry about more attractiveness than that. It fades. The rest I mentioned doesn’t.
3} Have a few good, True, male friends. You’ll need them. Trust me. A woman is a wonderful thing to have, but ► she won’t carry you to the grave ◄. I understand, many of your male friends will come and go. Just try to hold onto the best ones.
4} Learn who you are. Then know who you are. Then ► be yourself ◄, no matter the cost. Because – although every one else is avoidable – you’ll never escape the man in the mirror. Make sure to do it in exactly that order. Anything else is a recipe for disaster that cannot possibly be quantified.
5} Take ► pride in all you do ◄, large or small. As a man, your name is attached to your wife, your children and everything you touch. Those deeds and people will outlive you. Remember that. (I behave as I do online for this exact reason. The internet is forever.) The paradox of life is nothing matters except everything.
On the off chance you believe what I’ve penned here to be nonsense, I remind you:
“When a foolish man hears of the Tao, he laughs out loud.”
God bless.
Stay strong.
I’m with you.
Ω
80-Proof Oinomancy 
June 11, 2017 at 9:22 am
Re: #4
I’ve been gorging on Jordan Peterson ever since his latest interview with Rogan. The main point to take from him is that in a time of chaos, the only thing you have, as a shield and a weapon, is the truth. Brutal, honest truth. So I took that to heart, and stated sifting through all the “I’m alright; this is ok” bullshit when it clearly isn’t. The truth burns off deadwood. You’re not as broken as you think, but you’re not as put together, either.
June 13, 2017 at 12:25 am
Eduardo,
It’s funny you mention Peterson as I’d never heard of him until I started getting compared to him with alarming frequency over the past 8 months. So often, in fact, it prompted this tweet:
Also, I absentmindedly neglected to link the following post under #4:
Needless to say, I agree with your comment.
All the best to you and yours,
A♠
September 19, 2018 at 8:59 am
Funny that I’d also been wanting to ask you your opinion on the man (not that it would necessarily influence my own, which is positive).
Definitely see many similarities – though you’re certainly the “street smart” version.
June 12, 2017 at 10:41 am
“Life is hard and then you die.” ~ T-shirt from the early ’80s
There was an immortal person, living alone for all eternity. This immortal person (PHIL – Person Having Immortal Life) saw himself as the greatest poker player of all time. He played alone, dealing out hands for five empty chairs around a table. He would look at the cards for each hand then bet accordingly. Once every hand had been bet, PHIL would flip over the winning cards and collect the pot for that chair. Every chair would ante in again, and the game would go on. After an eternity of this, PHIL was bored. What good was it to play cards alone?
So PHIL did something remarkable. He created five other players purely from his imagination. These players had no idea that they were a part of PHIL’s imagination. They each understood themselves as separate people, living separate lives, and simply playing cards. The only thing they had in common was an instinctive interest in the game of poker. The players had a variety in their styles of play: some were cautious – some were bold – some played fair and some would cheat. The aspects to their personalities didn’t matter to PHIL, just their love of the game.
PHIL would deal every hand to the others, not needing cards for himself. There was no need because PHIL still won every hand. His pleasure came through sharing the feelings of the players. Their emotions were real to them, and PHIL would experience every emotion they had. He experienced the sensation of joy through the winners, and the feeling of sorrow through the losers. PHIL took great pleasure in having company to play with. What the players didn’t realize however, is that they could receive whatever cards they desired, simply by asking the dealer. PHIL would never say ‘no’ to them, because there was no reason to say ‘no.’ The players were all a part of PHIL, so who would he say ‘no’ to?
Eventually, some players became aware of the true nature of the game. They realized that they were not separate from PHIL, but a part of him. They understood that they could determine which cards they received in every hand. Once a player realized they could win whenever they wanted, the need to win disappeared. Once a player had reached this understanding, they would approach the game the same way that PHIL did and no longer showed interest in the outcome, but in the experience of the game itself.
Every person on this planet is the dealer as well as the player. The game isn’t poker, it’s Unconditional Love. Every thought you have is “you” asking PHIL what it is you wish to experience. Your belief determines the cards you receive. The key to understanding the game within the game is to know yourself. Ask and you shall receive – this is truth and always has been. There are no limitations to what’s available to you. What I do to another I do to me. What I give to another I give to me. What I wish upon another, I wish upon me. We are all a portion of the same One, always, and in all ways.
June 13, 2017 at 12:28 am
Myopia,
I’ve read this comment of your half a dozen times.
No doubt, I’ll read it half a dozen more.
All the best to you & yours,
A♠
June 12, 2017 at 9:19 pm
A♠,
Concur with Eduardo about #4. As you’ve written before, we probably have no clue who we are. Not merely that; the cultural conditioning can make it hard to ACCEPT who we are. But anything else but the Truth is a fever dream to be awakened from.
The first day on that journey is the first day on the path of Tao.
June 13, 2017 at 12:27 am
JD,
I wish I’d made the ACCEPT part clearer but, certainly, I agree with your points.
For those unaware, the following is the post you reference:
Stay well,
A♠
May 6, 2018 at 10:16 pm
[…] “Here besides news of holy war and holy need…” – (Duran Duran – Ordinary World) […]