“Tillin’ my own grave to keep me level…”

J♦

 

 

 

 

Like a traffic-light installed at an intersection after a fatal, multi-car collision, the ‘sphere has – Truth be told – a lamentable and tragic origin.

 

Yet, even then, neither the ‘sphere nor the traffic-light has any real power to stop the speeding travelers from destroying themselves, or each other, in the rush to destinations.

 

(Light is no physical barrier, after all.)

 

Thus, both can only do good if those encountering either heed their measured suggestions.

 

But something has troubled me lately, regarding this fact.

 

 

 

If you’ve been in this section as long as I, you may be aware that the constant push for “self-improvement” has been the most vociferous call raised among the voices collected herein.

 

Now, that – in and of itself – is not what troubles me.

 

What troubles me about that call is, much like many other recommended courses of action, it gets misheard, misused and misunderstood.

 

Sometimes to the point of uselessness and, more rarely but still extant, deleteriousness.

 

I’ll explain.

 

 

 

See, I have frequently seen too many men get caught up in “how much they’ve improved” or perhaps how much they’ve failed to do so.

 

Sometimes posturing with success; sometimes expressing bitter defeat.

 

While I believe it’s a noble goal to improve oneself, I have spent years trying to get men to save themselves first.

 

In short:

 

Climb out of the hole before attempting to scale mountains.

 

 

 

Some may say that climbing out of the hole is self-improvement.

 

I politely disagree.

 

It’s no more self-improvement than a drowning man grasping at flotsam to keep his head above water.

 

Demanding he compare himself to Olympic swimmers, at that desperate moment, may only cause him to embrace the depths.

 

 

 

Therefore, I focus a man’s sight on building healthy, beneficial, relationships with women rather than concern myself with how attractive they are.

 

I advise him to cultivate a worthy circle of ▶ friends ◀ to buoy his spirits and resolve during tough times, rather than be a lone, Alpha wolf.

 

I direct him to get his finances in order and out of debt rather than achieve entrepreneurial success or income independence.

 

I push him to ▶ discover ◀ what he wants, what drives him, what brings him contentment.

 

Competition is excellent and, indeed, crucial in a man’s development.

 

But only when he is well enough to compete.

 

 

 

To be fair, maybe there are more men out there that really need very little.

 

Maybe they’ve the legs to simply leap out of their current situation and hit the ground running.

 

Maybe I’m one who is wrong in all of this.

 

But the ▶ suicide rate ◀ among my brethren speaks too loudly in admonition.

 

 

 

Every drained bottle on the floor.

 

Every used needle in the alley.

 

Every empty chamber in the revolver.

 

All of them crying out:

 

Comparing myself to others is how I got here.

 

And why I’m here no more.

 

 

J♦