Archive for January, 2017

“To feel the pain that spurs you on…”

Posted in Uncategorized on January 5, 2017 by A♠






A major conflict that has been raging, unnoticed, for nigh on two decades has been:


The Resilience Wars


As this article shows, Caucasian female deaths from alcohol consumption have increased dramatically. 


Many wonder why.


I’m not among them.


I’ve little doubt as to the causes.




I’ll state my conclusion, given the statistics provided and the knowledge I’ve shared here.


First and foremost, understand that, generally speaking:


Women use alcohol as a poison.


Men use alcohol as an anesthetic.


Men use it to escape misery; women use it to wallow in it.


Men try to show how much they can drink without getting drunk.


Women drink to show how drunk they can get.




As I’ve stated previously, women use suffering (subconsciously, at least) to demonstrate resilience.


Note: the article mentions the increase in white women’s rates, specifically. This is due to the simple fact that white men are the most uxorious bunch, out of the races (of men) implicitly provided. Other females have their need to suffer met. Thus, they feel no need self-administer.  I remind you, dear reader, we’re speaking in aggregates in this post.


In fact, more often than not, women’s complaints are (at heart) actually backhanded boasts of how much suffering they can take.




Tangentially: This is the reason they hate it when men try to solve their problems (when women don’t outright request it) —


It denies them the bragging rights.


It’s also why they mutilate themselves, these days, with terrible hair styles, unconventional piercings, obesity, tattoos and the frequent usage of obscenities.  


Since they’ve been denied external suffering, they’ll bring it upon themselves.




This is also why, in a macro sense, the statement “women ruin everything” originated.


1} They join a group

2} Use it as a proxy for the self

3} Test it (= test themselves) by going so far as to actually welcome destructive forces



Before the cry is raised, permit me to say:


Yes, all women are like that. 


The exceptions prove the rule by having had sufficient misery in their upbringing/past.


(Keep in mind, while the need is without exception, the degree to which it is necessary differs tremendously per individual.)


Thus they feel no need to invite more.


This is also why, historically, grandmothers are sought for female advice rather than mothers, sisters, et al. 


They’ve suffered enough so as to not feel the need to poison the well.




As I wrote in my first book:



In fairy tales, the most desirable/marriageable women

had terrible & harsh lives [“childhoods”].

This is not a coincidence but a lesson.



Now, to read my words here as a call to abuse women would be a gross misunderstanding, in every sense.


It should, instead, be read as what it is:


An elucidation of where the long, winding trail of human existence has led us.


And what we need to see in ourselves because of it.






“But if I sing along a little fucking louder…”

Posted in Uncategorized on January 5, 2017 by A♠






An open letter to Delicious Tacos:

I saw that you posted re: your frustrations writing a book to market. Oh, man, do I feel you there. You had some great comments from readers, too.

Here they are:


July 5, 2016 at 11:37 pm 

You’re not a bad writer you just write about stupid things so 5% of the world’s idiots will have someone to look up to. Why don’t you try like, actually writing something. You’re right, though. Most of your stuff is as rote as you say your dates are. Somewhere down the hill, drive me home oh birds in park. Chicken dinner then sofa fucking too quick.>My life sucks and it’s never going to get any better. I fucked a girl and she was a girl and I got laid and no condom because STDs are lies spread by feminists.

Obviously I know nothing about writing but you can produce better that what you have been. Stop with the essays. If you’re going to write about being a shithead, make it a Confederacy of Dunces style story, or something, Idk. That book had no point but it was pretty awesome. Anyway, I bet you could churn out a really great ACTUAL book if you wanted but you depend too much on this cesspool. Don’t have to accept you’re great if you keep yourself contained in this sludge.

Shylock Holmes

July 6, 2016 at 6:59 am 

I think Sylvia is onto something. I don’t think the subject matter necessarily has to change, since you do tawdry introspection as a means to understanding modern society better than almost anyone. But have you thought about trying longer form writing? The discipline of a novel and a more complex plot structure would certainly force you to write something different.

The other benefit would be to make it explicitly fiction, even if still loosely based on yourself – most people’s actual lives ARE the same thing over, which is why loosely fictionalized versions of the author seem to be such a popular starting point. Except Hemingway, who seemed to just do crazy stuff just to have something to write about. I’m not sure if that’s a better option, he did put a shotgun in his mouth in the end.



“Reply?” Well, website, don’t mind if I do.

I’ve got to say, while Sylvia and Shylock have some solid points (with which I agree), I’m compelled to point out:

If she thinks toilet humor and crass tales get a small audience, then I’m here to inform her one would damn near need an electron-microscope to see the sales numbers of insightful observations and parables elucidating the vast, complex problems of modernity. Hell, I can barely buy a large pizza with what I make a month on this. (I confess, however, there’s a large middle-ground that I’m, as of yet, unwilling to walk.) Your sales and mine are contextually comparable to The Family Guy vs Arrested Development. We know which still brings in cash, to this day, and which had to claw just to be a “Netflix Presentation”. 

Another two cents I’ll toss into this particular kitty (no pun intended) is the following: 

You confess you do it for cash and ego. Who doesn’t, in some way or another? That’s not really the issue at hand. It’s my belief that you became entangled trying to get approval or cash or success (or some combination thereof), so much so that you’ve lost the love of the art; the wordsmithing; the visceral, emotional reactions garnered from a finely crafted story. But, hey, I don’t know you, personally. Maybe this is all part of a shtick. Lord knows every few months there’s another revelation of reality vs persona in this section of the ‘net. I could be wrong. You can certainly tell me to go shit in my hat. But understand, I’m seriously not trying to be a dick nor am I trying to start some ridiculous internet conflict.

I know I didn’t start out wanting to do this. I had a therapist tell me to start a journal. I figured: if I can’t be well, I may as well write. The internet just happened to be a way that I could tell everyone “I told you so”—  for going on 13 years now. I’ll also say that, while my numbers pale in comparison to just about every other blogger in our corner of the web, I wouldn’t trade my readers for the world. Good-hearted, savvy, hungry to learn folks, they are. And they’re open to seeing things with the aid of my uniquely broken glass, like Svyatoslav Fyodorov, and realizing maybe a bit of it to the eyes will improve vision. They keep me doing this. They gave me a reason to live, again. No doubt. So, while I make take sabbaticals, I’ll never quit. I doubt I’ll even make it big (while alive) but I know for a fact men (and some women, too) read my ideas, pass them around and will keep them thriving long after I’m dust and bones. 


Regardless, I say to you:

Take solace in the fact you’ve “made it” more than most (myself included), reassess and press onward.

Learn to love what you do again or, if you feel it necessary, find a new love.


Sincerely wishing you the best of luck in your next project,







“I’ve been busy counting every drop of rain…”

Posted in Uncategorized on January 5, 2017 by A♠






I received a review of my book from an individual that bought a PDF copy from me directly.


Since it contains minor profanity and isn’t attached to a verified Amazon purchase, he sent it to me.


I share it with you (unedited to preserve his voice), dear readers, to give you some things to expect (or not) from The Holistic Guide to Suicide,


I honestly wish this guide was available in my youth as it would of answered many questions that I had which my parents, teachers, and other authority figures would not and did not answer. This guide would have provided those tools that I needed dealing with my problems in my youth and teenage years. Instead of platitudes from my family like my overly religious aunt “Well, we all have our cross to bear” or her “Don’t be afraid to die you will be in the arms of the lord.” She told me that one when I was five years old when my mother was going through the divorce. Or from my stepfather “Shit or get off the pot, you just need a swift kick in the ass” Or my mother, “Why can’t you be normal, I think your depression is a way of punishing us.” Also for the record, “just count backwards from 10 and just let your depression go” does not work for all of us.  


First. and for most, The Holistic Guide to Suicide is not a guide on how to kill yourself in the least painful method. Second, The Holistic Guide to Suicide is not a book it is, in my opinion, the equivalent of Martin Luther nailing his Ninety-five Theses of 1517 to the Church doors. In this case The Holistic Guide to Suicide has been nailed to the doors of a modern society, which honestly, is more like a madhouse that we all reside in. There will be those that will decry this guide, I will be surprised if some of them actually read it first,  but I will state this now: they have an agenda that does not include helping you get out of your depression whereas this guide will help you.


This guide was not written to be a in-depth explanation of the situation you find yourself. Instead, it should be viewed as the pamphlet you should of been reading when you got on-board an aircraft so that you know what to do in the event of in flight mishap and resulting crash. Or at the least, as you fumble for it after a crash, it will give you the instruction you need to open the emergency door and save yourself and others.  This guide will give you a map, instructions, and the basic tools with which to extricate yourself from your depression or help another with theirs. The problems of modern society are simplified and clearly stated and the author is not pulling numbers from thin air as the books and studies he are cited if you wish to dig deeper into the causes.