Archive for January, 2014

“And I will plead no contest if loving you’s a crime…”

Posted in Uncategorized on January 29, 2014 by A♠




I wish I could say this letter was planned.

But it wasn’t.

Sadly, like so many things, it simply manifested – like a distorted Venus – from a pool of lamentable circumstances.



Now, you take a lot of flak in this corner of the internet.

Rightly or wrongly; fairly or unfairly apportioned.

Regardless, it’s fired your way.



Needless to say, you claim it comes from bitterness and envy.

To be fair, you’re correct.

But I get the sense you don’t really understand the root cause.

As I’ve said a million times – and will until I die:

You’re right for all the wrong reasons.

And that’s worse than being wrong.



See, you hear countless numbers of us berating you for your “single mother status”.

Naturally, you interpret that as:

We’re just jealous of what another man got.

However, exactly what is it he got that elicits these feelings in us, do you think?

I’m guessing you think the answer is “sex”.



Of course, that’s part of it, certainly.

But, as usual, you sell yourselves short.

It runs deeper (for quite a few of us, I’d gladly wager).



The complete answer is:

We’re jealous that some thug/deadbeat got your awe.

Your desire.

Your surrender.

Your ability to grant a legacy.



In short, we’re not jealous of what those men got, really.

We’re crestfallen at what we were denied.



The Truth that you refuse to see – whether by deed or denial –  is that many of us wanted a child.

A wife.

A family.

A loving extension of who we are and what we do.

And you – with the power to choose – didn’t choose us.



To make matters worse, no one is happy.

We aren’t.

Plus, by all indications, neither are you.

[It’s one thing to suffer.

It’s another to suffer needlessly.]



So the next time you curse your “baby-daddy” for being late to pick up the children you tumultuously share, as you stare at the empty street:

Remember, there are many men that would have gladly driven it home to you and the little ones he sired.

Because those men sure as Hell do.

And if it makes you angry or breaks your heart:

Well, now you understand.





“There’s no way out, but if you dare, make a deal and grow your hair…”

Posted in Uncategorized on January 23, 2014 by A♠



He tells me:

“You should cut your hair.

You look better with it short.”



I reply, unemotionally:

No, I don’t look “better with it short”.

I look useful with it short”.



See, short hair can’t get caught in machinery or a ship’s rigging.

It can’t get grabbed in a fight.

It can’t get in my eyes during a hunt.

The list goes onward.



Now, they say long hair “looks better on women”.

This is correct since it’s indicative of health.

But wouldn’t that also be True for men?

Of course it would be – and is.

Why it looks better on women is because they aren’t expected to be useful beyond their health [read: reproduction].



In fact, regardless of protestations, most women lust after men with long hair.


Because men with long hair are sub-communicating to women:

“Not only do I flout social convention, I am useful in ways you can’t readily determine.”

Which naturally fuels a woman’s curiosity and, subsequently, her desire.



However, it would be mistaken to believe long hair on a man is a magic pill, of some sort.

Remember, a woman reads dozens (if not hundreds) of other, even more subtle, details of potential mates.

So, if nothing else at all is readily apparent to attract her, this indication of a lack of usefulness will only hurt a man.

But if a few other positive details can be discerned by the woman in question:

It’s a tremendous push in his favor.




“I have all the time in the world – to make you mine…”

Posted in Uncategorized on January 19, 2014 by A♠




In chess tournaments, competitors use what’s called a “chess clock”.

The reasons and effects are many, as told here:

[Reprinted and attributed for convenience]


“Using a clock provides certain advantages over untimed games. Time management is one. You have to use your time wisely looking for the best moves in a certain time frame. Another big advantage is with a chess clock, large tournaments are possible. With chess clocks you can know for certain when 100 different games in one single tournament will end, and with enough time for a break in between games.

As for why there are two “clocks”, there are two time displays, each keeping track of the time for each player. In regular chess clock time constraints, the time on the clock is how much time a person has for the entire game. If they run out of time on their clock, they automatically lose. Time is only deducted from the clock on that person’s turn.

If you use a clock while you are playing, you can get better at chess, because it forces you to think within in a timely manner with consequences if you don’t. Also it is very fair, because the other person your playing against will have the same time on their clock as you do yours.”

– Kevlar100



Let’s frame the above in terms of our Game, shall we?

However, let us address it backwards.



See, women want men to think the time alloted to both players is the same.

Now, everyone knows [at some level; consciously or unconsciously], it is most certainly not.

But that wouldn’t be a “very fair” playing-field.

Thus, women use pressure to commit, time constraints, flake-outs, et al, to convince men to “take it while they can get it”.

In short, they rush a man’s hand.

By making him think he’ll lose everything should he play a longer, more considered game, she robs him of his greatest advantages.



Yet, if a man comes to realize – and internalize – he has much more time on his clock than she on hers:

He can plan with greater certainty.

He can consider far more options than she.

He can maximize the strengths of his pieces by carefully familiarizing himself with the unique properties of each.

While exploiting the weaknesses of hers.

Most of all, he can be more at ease and relaxed should a loss be suffered.

He can, to a point, afford to be aloof.



See, in our Game:

The timepiece “provides certain advantages over untimed games”, most assuredly.

But the real secret isn’t simply the knowing best strategy.

Or even just knowing your opponent.

It’s knowing how to play the clock.


Master all three:

And every Game is yours.







“When, all in all, we’re just like you…”

Posted in Uncategorized on January 16, 2014 by A♠



So, you’re an introvert?

And you want to get girls?

Well, I’m here to tell you:

You’re much further ahead in the game than you think you are.



See, here’s the terrible Truth:

Women don’t give a shit what you think.

What you say.

And absolute least of all, what you feel.

So the very fact you’re not up for sharing puts you well ahead of guys like me.

[I’m an emotional bulimic; I vomit my opinions and frustrations constantly.]



That being said, here’s all you need to do:

1} Get in the best shape you can.

2} Hygiene – practice it well.

3} Read a few book-compilations of famous quotes; memorize a bunch of your favorites.

4} Take dance classes; women will be forced to work with you.



Now, you’ve done the above, yes?


When conversations with women end up starting:

1} Ask questions. The only women I know that don’t like to talk about themselves and their feelings are dead. Even then, I still sometimes get the sense they’re chatting away on another plane of existence. Now you’re going to tell me: “But what if I don’t care about [whatever she’s saying]?” Surprise, none of us do. Welcome to the party. I love the sound of a woman’s voice but if I had to actually listen to every word that came out of her mouth, I’d throw myself in front of a bus.

2} Let your facial expressions speak for you. Throw in an apt quote, now and then. It makes you seem pensive, thoughtful, clever, and as if you give a shit. All of those things are good.

3} Don’t hesitate to break in and change the conversation. Or simply say “let’s just dance/drink/see the sights for a while”. This will tell her you have your own mind and interests. Plus, she’ll make stuff up in her head about what’s going on inside you. Bonus points: Say “Your story has become tiresome.” playfully and with a smirk, once in a great while.



Now, this method probably won’t get you a high notch count (but it’ll be higher than you think, trust me on that).

But, if you’re a True introvert-male:

You’re not after that.

You’re after a couple good, fun girls.

And this should do the trick nicely.


“But I’ve been waiting for this moment all my life…”

Posted in Uncategorized on January 13, 2014 by A♠



It was a gentle, black-steel kiss.

The ‘O’ shape of the barrel made it so.

It reminded me of the times my father would press his lips at the exact same place on the side of my head when I was a child of five or six.


I wish I could take your fever away.

I’d take it myself, if I could.”



I shut my eyes.

Let one of the very few fond childhood memories I had wash over me.

Then pulled the trigger.



* click *



I sighed, relishing the potential for an easy exit.

From everything.



Some people like pain.

It grounds them.

Centers them.

Frees them.



As for myself…

I liked courting Death.

The prospect of peace.

The silence from all the bleak knowledge I possess.



I lifted my eyelids slowly.

Almost unwillingly.

And stared at the bullet sitting atop my television – seven feet across from me.

I left it there for years.



I don’t have it anymore.

Thank you.





“… because you know sometimes words have two meanings.”

Posted in Uncategorized on January 10, 2014 by A♠



This evening, Wald [from the blog ‘Scarred Tissue’], said to me in an instant message:

“The beauty of your game is that you speak as a man in his forties with 20 years of experience. Maturity wise, you could be 60.”



Last night, Doctor Illusion said to me:

“Other blogs talk about changing the oil and doing tune ups. You talk about rebuilding the engine from the ground up.”



Additionally, I had the following dialogue with Matt from ‘The 3 Bromigos’ a few days prior:

@The_3_Bromigos – Matt, if you’re not a fan of my blog – that’s cool. But I ask you read it again a year or more from now.

@whiskeyandashes – What makes you say that mate?

@The_3_Bromigos – Because I Truly believe, down the road, you’ll find it useful.

[ ]



Why do I share all of this?

For an important, if simple, reason.

Once a certain perspective is achieved by the reader:

My work is tremendously powerful.



If you’ve been following me – diligently or half-heartedly – for six months or more:

Return to my old posts.

Especially ones you’ve read.

Peruse them with new eyes.



If you’ve been traveling the path with the intent of gaining experiences of varied sorts and attempting to awaken from a long period of mental slumber:

What you’ve read before will take on a new life.



Meaning will exist where it once seemed absent.

Cryptic passages will be mere statements.

And vaguenesses will become wisdom.

[I’ve been doing this for a decade.

I know of which I speak.]



If not:

Travel on.

I’m waiting for you by the roadside ahead.




“…every vow you break; every smile you fake…”

Posted in Uncategorized on January 5, 2014 by A♠



As anyone that’s traveled in this corner of the web knows:

Only the top 20% of men are visible to most women.

The rest may as well be ethereal spirits, drifting across the landscape.



Another bit of wisdom follows fast on the heels of the above.

One learns of the exponential increase in the likelihood of a woman finding a new paramour when her current one is physically absent (proportional to duration).

A pattern seems to emerge.



See, there’s a fundamental concept in developmental psychology.

That concept is:

Object permanence – the understanding that objects continue to exist even when they cannot be observed (seen, heard, touched, smelled or sensed in any way).

As at least 80% of men know, going by my aforementioned points:

Women sometimes lack that ability.

Regardless of the consciousness or unconsciousness behind its absence.



Enter – the digital information age.



Secluded behind firewall ramparts and ethernet-cable fences, women appear to forget that men are all around them.




Along with countless others, these sites all induce amnesia.

An electronic Lethe, in which the constant immersion imparts forgetfulness that there are many more reading their confessions, rages, demands, diatribes, attacks and cuts than they believe.

What was once said in the [relatively] private female-only spaces, is now painted in garish colors everywhere one travels online.



See, the men that came recently before us were not fools.

The were simply – in the classic definition – ignorant.

A de facto conspiracy kept them so.

Men that long preceded them were present, constantly, physically and with far fewer distractions, which enabled the illusion to be more easily penetrated.

But, technology – that which kept us separated enough to dupe us – has come full circle.



Men are, once more, in the thick of it.

Only, we are invisible.

This is why we have been able to rediscover ancient mysteries.

Moreso, build upon the wisdom.



We are unseen.

But we are real.

We are out here.

And we’re watching.

In fact, we’ve no other choice.