Archive for June, 2013

“Hey, son, I never told anyone…”

Posted in Uncategorized on June 29, 2013 by A♠

 

 

Men like me, who reached sexual maturity before the internet, often bemoan the lack of available knowledge in dealing with the opposite sex when we most needed it.

And they’re right to do so.

But,  as usual, my reasons for doing such are different than most.

 

 

See, most men in that category do so because they lament the countless missed opportunities.

Now, I’d be a fool and a liar to say I did not feel the same.

To a point.

But mine goes deeper, and darker, than that.

 

 

I wish I’d had the currently available knowledge then because:

I’d have hung up on more women than I can remember once they started bitching about some non-problem or another.

I’d have kept the money I earned working in America’s most dangerous city rather than fuel some flakey broad’s whims.

I’d have put my foot down sooner and saved myself a shit-ton of trouble long before it circled around and bit me in the ass.

Hard.

I’d have taken break-ups for what they were; something all too frequently more easily replaced than changing a tire.

I’d have had better sex with far less effort.

[I have a theory that a woman’s sexual skill is slightly inversely proportional to how hot she is.

Since hot girls think their looks is all that’s necessary in the bedroom.

But that’s for another post, another day.]

 

 

Now, some may read this post and say:

“So you’re saying you wish you knew then what you know now so you could have been more of a dick?!”

 

 

Yep.

That’s it exactly.

Ω

“I tried to hide the pain, I bought some wine and hopped a train…”

Posted in Uncategorized on June 29, 2013 by A♠

 

 

 

I’m asked in a text:

“Do you think falling from such high, socially enviable, secure (seemingly) positions has changed you life goals, or your value of those positions?”

 

 

 

I want to reply:

Do you mean – do I feel as though I missed out on so many things that most people do in their youth because I wanted to get into law enforcement?

Are you asking if I regret not misbehaving or getting into trouble or experimenting with drugs because I refused to jeopardize my shot at my goal?

Is the purpose of the question to determine if I was crestfallen to learn that my record prior to the age of 18 would’ve had no effect?

Or that no one believed I never experimented with drugs or even drank or smoked underage?

Or that my bosses did all the things I thought would hobble my efforts (and more) and had not only done my job but advanced far beyond me?

Is the interrogative aimed at discovering the degree to which I fell into depression once I realized I was twice as smart as (if not more than) the vast majority of my co-workers or my supervisors (especially my supervisors)?

Or my sorrow at being fired for “incompetence” even though I’d written the tests they use, I created the interviewing techniques they adopted and I coined the terminology that they “borrowed” when completing memos?

Or my suicidal behavior upon realizing that lofty and high-paid positions rarely involve merit – rather the ability to maintain the status quo, to shut up and do as one is told?

Or is the real question:

Am I utterly despondent at learning the nigh on impossible standards I set for myself – and achieved – were shared by no one I’d ever met yet I was ousted in disgrace thus rendering my almost monastic self-discipline during my youth needless and, worse yet, pointless?

 

 

 

Instead, sighing, I type back:

Yes, definitely.

And hit ‘Send’.

Ω

“I can’t help my foolish Pride; the day you left I up and died…”

Posted in Uncategorized on June 25, 2013 by A♠

 

It may seem, to many, an inconsistency why men that write/perform weepy love songs of loss and pain get more kitty than the SPCA.

Well, to my few loyal readers, I’m going to tell you why that is.

1} Preselection = The musicians are stating clearly, sans braggadocio, that they can get – and have gotten – women. The self–effacing delivery actually bolsters credibility in certain circumstances and art is one of them.

 

2} Every woman sees herself in every other. They are built that way. Therefore, she sees that if one woman won the artist’s heart so deeply and powerfully, she could, too.

 

3} The song and its message demonstrate the capability and willingness of the artist to heavily invest emotionally in a woman while not professing such obsequiously and directly to the female listener. This indirect method is the very way women communicate, thus it is immediately understood.

 

In short, wise musicians know that the songs of unrequited love they pen and perform are never Truly for the woman that inspired them.

The enchanting [I choose that word very carefully]  melodies are, in reality, for the next beautiful, young woman to come along.

 

 

 

Ω

 

 

“Well, I can take you far away…”

Posted in Uncategorized on June 23, 2013 by A♠

 

 

 

In case it’s gone unnoticed, I answer every comment.

Even if my reply is a simple “thank you for commenting”.

 

 

Rightly or wrongly, I treat the web as an actual discourse.

So, if you’ve any topics you’d like to see me address or any particular insight of mine you feel might be helpful, please ask.

I’ll do my best to post on it in a timely manner.

 

 

 

Ω

“I don’t need a reason why…”

Posted in Uncategorized on June 22, 2013 by A♠

 

There’s an old saying that goes:

“The clothes make the man.”

 

 

That’s not at all True.

But women believe, and behave, as though it is.

See, even average looking girls are approached numerous times a day.

So they use as many easily observable characteristics as possible to make quicken and simplify the selection process.

What it took me way too long to figure out (for which, once more, I blame my mother) is:

If a man wants a certain type of woman he needs to dress as though he’s her type of mate.

This seems basic (and it is) but it’s staggering how many guys don’t get it.

 

 

If you want Goth girls, you’ve got to dress Goth.

If you want fashionable girls, dress in the latest styles.

If you want country girls, dress country.

Silly to say it, but in this day and age, it needs to be said.

 

 

As far as grooming goes:

1} Hygiene above all.

2} If you want a mustache, there’s a great deal that must go with it; it must be full, thick and end where the lower lip begins. Also, your hair must be cut short at the sides and back (though not buzz–cut) while being longer (2-3”) on the top and combed back. You should also be about 30 or older, and generally dress professionally/business casually. Also, you must be clean-shaven, otherwise; no 5 o’clock shadow. Be sure your clothes are classic, if not in-style, so as to not be a used car salesman. Lastly, and most importantly, you must go all-in with it. Ignore comments mocking it or asking you to shave. Do not try to win approval for it. Prove you are wearing it for you and will not be around people that want you to change it. That’s how Tom Selleck does it.

2} Goatees = are worn and tired. However, if you’re balding badly and have a weak chin, absolutely grow one. Again, you must be clean-shaven, otherwise; no 5 o’clock shadow. Your head should also be shaved very, very regularly and thoroughly. Be sure to use sunscreen all over your head and be sure to get plenty of sun year ’round, so as to not be too pasty. Learn to trim your goatee with meticulous precision.

3} Long hair = be acne free, an appropriate weight and do not wear glasses. (Yes, I am breaking the last two rules, as I’m a little overweight and can’t afford contacts at the moment, and I am wrong.  I am working to change that.) Don’t dress outlandishly but be sure to dress with an edge. Don’t have a mustache, goatee or beard with it. It’s too much at that point (although, you can go for the Lemmy look but you’d best be bad-ass enough to pull it off). No gaming t-shirts or anything that screams “nerd”.  Far too many computer guys and geeks think long hair makes them cool; it doesn’t. Instead, it tends to give the impression they’re just too lazy to get a haircut.

There you have it, men.

I’d wish you the best of luck.

But you won’t really need it if you listen to me.

 

 

Ω

 

“Callin’ all freaks…”

Posted in Uncategorized on June 22, 2013 by A♠

 

 

 

 

Doctor Illusion backhandly asked for “a face to the name”.

Since I’m broke, the best I can offer at the moment is a shitty webcam image.

testimage1

Note: Denim cut–off vest and black t–shirt with skeletons in dilecto flagrente are tough to discern. But they are worn.

Ω

“Las palabras que dijiste cuando yo te vi…”

Posted in Uncategorized on June 20, 2013 by A♠

 

 
Thirteen years later, the image is still carved in my mind.

Like some etching by Doré.

Beautiful yet baroque and dark.

Her face…

More importantly, the expression it wore.

 

 

I’d made my second pass at her in two or three years.

In the autumn night, at the waterside near her NJ college dorm, I kissed her.

She returned it with eyes that said:

“You’re a eunuch.

How on earth could you ever hope to satisfy me?”

 

 

It was then her unreceptive lips spoke.

They mentioned she’d been exploring a relationship with her female roommate.

Even at that time, in all my ignorance, I knew better than to believe it.

Yet, I respected her choice.

Not much later, I left.

Downhearted.

Like the few times prior.

However, I vowed I’d never see that expression on a woman again.

 

 

Since, I’ve been shot down.

Been picked up.

Had one-night stands.

Been dumped.

Had long-term relationships.

Slept with two women at the same time.

Fallen in love.

Had women fall in love with me.

Been hit on.

And been brushed off.

 

 

Now, time has changed us both.

But, True to form, I’ve kept my vow:

I haven’t seen that expression on a woman ever since.

Nor will I again.

It was, in and of itself, was one agonizing death too many.

 

 

 

 

Ω