“I remember how you… shined your smile but all the while you knew we’d never last”

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You’ll forgive me if I can’t find the post.

 

My record keeping leaves much to be desired.

 

But I have, in the past, stated (in one form or another):

 

A man will know a woman is on her way out well before she actually closes the door behind her exit from the relationship.

 

Although few young men (or possibly anyone, given my extended absence) read this blog any longer, I still believe it helpful to enumerate the tells (to use a gambling term, as I’m wont to do) a man can spot to give himself some time to prep for the end.

 

1} She criticizes less = Understand a woman feels – consciously or unconsciously – the need to correct a man; to keep him ambitious and moving forward. Of course, one must establish a baseline (to use a law enforcement term – meaning to understand the standard level of the trait/behavior in question and the frequency of its manifestation) of such critiques. Yet, should it drop below that established level, “the end is nigh” as the sandwich-boards of street-prophets proclaim in bold letters.

 

2} She speaks/spends time only when she has nothing else happening; during a commute, a slow day at work, a lazy afternoon = As my father said “When a woman wants a man, nothing on earth will stop her from getting him, son. Nothing.” Never have seen this disproven. Not once. The less she prioritizes you, the less she wants you.

 

3} She picks a fight (or fights) = Realize that this is eye to eye with the end. She wants to bail but is terrified of “being the bad guy”. She’s trying to get a rise out of you so that you behave badly, thus making you the villain of the encounter; thereby exonerating her and justifying her choice to bolt.

 

4} She’s more supportive in all the wrong ways = She wants you to spend more time with your friends; playfully mentions you flirting with other girls; thinks certain irresponsibilities on your part are ok (see point 1).

 

5} She starts getting “back into shape” = Women like shiny things and nothing gleams like new love. You may have been pushing for her to do that for literally years, but you didn’t get through – trust me.

 

 

 

To be clear, I don’t write this so men can “dump them first”.

 

Such a thing is childish and, frankly (for men), silly.

 

You’re going to be the bad guy that way, thus making it even easier for her.

 

So just sit back and let it happen.

 

Let her bluff so she takes the hand.

 

While you take the pot.

 

 

 

Now, none of these are set in stone.

 

Exceptions do exist, I suppose.

 

However, I personally wouldn’t put my money on that.

 

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Sometimes

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Sometimes she’s not a bitch, a trollop, a harridan or a whore.

 

Sometimes she’s not demanding, derisive or dim.

 

Sometimes she’s smart and funny.

 

Sometimes she’s bright eyed, big-hearted and has a voice that evokes memories of happy childhood you never had but wished you did.

 

Sometimes she is sweet and caring and worries about you even as you tell her it’s over.

 

Sometimes she holds you and holds back her tears because she knows you break just seeing a frown play across her face.

 

Sometimes she’s the only woman – out of a parade of trysts, failed attempts and two borderlines – to really care about you and bend over backwards to prove it.

 

Sometimes things just don’t work out.

 

Sometimes she’s wonderful but you’re just different people.

 

Sometimes you cry, off and on, for 12 hours even though you’re the same guy that fell off motorcycles, had his appendix rupture and didn’t shed even a handful of tears as they put your mother in the cold ground some merciless December just because – although the gal isn’t perfect – she’s the best thing to happen to you thus far.

 

Sometimes being the man means not wasting her time and fertility.

 

Sometimes being the man means hurting the woman you love most now so you don’t hurt her a 1,000 times more when there’s kids, a mortgage, in-laws and a million other chains that bind you far tighter and far longer than you’ll ever guess.

 

Sometimes you’re glad you wrote a book on how to avoid committing suicide because you’ll look like a serious asshole if you gargle a shotgun a few years after publishing it.

 

Sometimes you wish the whiskey and cigarettes killed you so you wouldn’t have to do this.

 

Sometimes there’s no good way; there’s just the best way possible.

 

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