“I cast my spell of love on you – a woman from a child…”

Posted in Uncategorized on March 5, 2019 by A♠





Over the years (especially at the end of my personal blog elsewhere and the beginning of this one), I’ve mentioned in the comment sections that – in the folly of my youth – I dabbled in Satanism and the practice of magick.


I quickly abandoned the former and, with much difficulty, ceased the the latter.


(Although, being the honest man I am, the temptation to return to the latter is a constant siren-song.)


While both were foolish, I have no regrets doing them as I learned a tremendous amount about many forces of the universe that push and pull us off, on and along the path towards our destinies – both collective and personal.


Truths which are as threads through the tapestry of existence.


Small, in their own right, yet crucial to the whole of the pattern.




One such Truth is the power of “a year and a day”.


It appears in stories and legends regarding the world of the Fae, questing knights, certain Pagan and occult practices and a number of early European traditions.


Two examples of those traditions:


If a serf had fled – and remained absent – from his lord’s holdings for a year and a day, he was considered a free man.


A couple who lived together as husband and wife in Scotland for a year and a day were accorded all the privileges of marriage, whether or not they were wed formally.




But what has any of this to do with us here, at this digital, back-alley tavern?


Well, very simply, I’d tell my daughter two things:


1} Keep your legs closed. Give a man you love everything but sex. Show your value in 1,000 other ways. If he fails to appreciate those (the greater, more lasting gifts, frankly), then he’s unworthy.


2} Grant the relationship a year and day. If he hasn’t proposed by then, politely and gracefully leave him. If he doesn’t know he wants you by then, he’ll only drag you along a very rough road.




Now, in fairness, I’d say something similar to the second point to my son:


If you’re not driven by your feelings for her to propose in a year and a day, you will never be.


Leave her like a gentleman and seek another.




Some in this smoky, liquor-fueled den may disagree.


That’s fine, certainly.


But, like the thread of Truth it is:


It winds through far more than just my experiences.










“I don’t know what I’m on… now, baby, it’s all gone…”

Posted in Uncategorized on February 25, 2019 by A♠






In response to my previous post, long time reader and valued GenX compatriot JD wrote:


To women, some kinds of men (or more directly, some kinds of experiences) are also ‘recreational drugs’, and the current relationship arc is to use them as such and everybody else is basically ‘methadone’ for when it’s time to get off them.

The fabled ‘Carousel’ is a drug spree in a biological sense. When you’ve seen the dead look in the eyes of your former ‘girl next door’ Muse, or an ex-girlfriend … or horror of horrors, a daughter … it’s little different than the numbness in any addict’s eyes.

And methadone isn’t a cure. There is no cure. She can fall off the wagon at any time.

Traditional marriage was like the gold standard – even the lowest peasant received his wages in the money of kings. His reward was paid up front – he got a woman in her prime. The entire society was structured so this fool could be in love, and make all the sacrifices fools in love make, and actually win from it. He had a future to aspire to and a woman who bonded to him and helped him get there.

But we all know how that ended up. That future is canceled for most men before they’re even fully developed. No wonder they ‘power down’ these days … or go the other way and pile up money and status as high as possible. The only ways men have freedom anymore is either have literally nothing to lose or enough to speak freely without losing everything.

As for women as a drug, well … to torture Donne, no man is an island because every man has a peninsula lol. The drugs are laced and the candy has random razor blades in it but they’re a habit we aren’t designed to kick. Most of the misery in mens’ lives is that we are forced to be stronger than we ever aspired to be. One way or another there’s a dragon and it refuses to slay itself.

As Jordan Peterson said, we only get to choose which poison we drink. – JD



While the comment is excellent in its totality (unsurprising, considering JD’s oeuvre) I strongly (though respectfully, no doubt) disagree with this particular passage:


“To women, some kinds of men (or more directly, some kinds of experiences) are also ‘recreational drugs’…”


and his exemplification of it with the [Cock] Carousel.




I confess the cause of this may be my poor word choices of “To women…” and “To men…” when it should’ve been “For women…” and “For men…” in the original post, as what the individual man or woman believes is utterly irrelevant.


What biology compels (hence “for”) is the paramount drive.


Additionally, my quibble may seem pedantic.


However, I believe it to be a small yet crucial distinction.


I assert:


Men are never ‘recreational drugs’ for women.


Instead, they are abused or misused prescription drugs for specific, biological conditions.


In brief:


They [men] are prescribed drugs used recreationally.


Like reaching in grandma’s pill-organizer or her sister’s purse and snatching a handful of pharmaceuticals for chemical entertainment, a woman takes a facilitator of female wellness and – by foolhardy misuse – makes it anything but such.




Now, the spirit of what JD wrote coincides with my hypothesis, certainly.


Still, I felt it necessary to clarify, as those things he mentioned are – to my mind – proofs of my suspicions, rather than evidence to the contrary.


‘Sphere legend Deti explains my meaning flawlessly in a comment on the same post:

This is a great analogy. And apt.

Women need to take medicines. Or, at the very least, it’s a very, very good idea that they take properly prescribed medicine, as directed.

Women need that medicine. They must have it. If they do not receive and take properly prescribed medicine as directed, they will do quite poorly. They will not “die”, at least not right away. But they will not “live” as long.

And we have women abusing “medicine” (men). Most of the time they don’t take the proper prescriptions, instead overdosing on self-prescribed (men) drugs that don’t work for them [The Cock Carousel – A♠]. Or, they get a proper prescription (man), but do not take it (him) as directed. Instead they waste the medicine or do not take it at all.




Told by society at large that everything in her medicine cabinet is the same and only good for a high or low or a twist ’round the bend:


It’s no surprise she ignores the labels/warnings on the bottles.


No matter how large the print.










“You and I are under-dosed and we’re ready to fall…”

Posted in Uncategorized on February 17, 2019 by A♠




Love is a drug.


I’ve said this before (obviously, I’m certainly not the first one to do so).


Although ⁂ I explained it ⁂ more fully than most ever have, I was still brief.


Here, I’ll expound upon it further.




To women, men are medicinal drugs.


When her mate is well-chosen (properly prescribed) and treated/received as he is, rather than as she wishes he’d be (taken as directed), men are tremendous aids to female well-being.


They help keep women stable, balanced, focused, prosperous and productive.


Indeed the exponential increase in female alcoholism, mental illness and terrible outcomes for the children of single mothers over the past few decades all support my statement (and my theory).


The reason for this is, over the ages of human development, women have come to need men on multiple, crucial levels.


The economic freedom they currently enjoy in the Western world merely fooled them into believing material needs were the sole necessity men historically provided, rather than the plethora they actually do.


Yet, to read this as “men always do only good for women” is to completely ignore what I’ve written.


I said “as prescribed” and “taken as directed”.


Anyone that can pick a newspaper or type into a search engine could easily discover that abuse of prescription drugs (and its subsequent awful consequences) is rampant and lethal.


My analogy very much extends to that scenario, also.


Do not take it lightly.




To men, women are recreational drugs.


Like booze, cigarettes and other such dangerous ⁂ luxuries ⁂:


Women take the edge off of life.


They give us something to which we can look forward after a long, difficult day.


Hell, ask a man who hasn’t gotten laid recently (or has, for comparison) and see how angry, edgy, dour and tense he is.


But I bet you already know how that will wash out.


Work in a blue collar profession (or even white collar, these days) and see how many men work simply for beer money, the newest video game or some other temporary dopamine hit.


Thus, to think comparing women recreational drugs is failing to notice their influence is to misunderstand, at best; idiotic, at worst.


Indeed, now that women have largely been removed as a reward for male effort, not coincidentally, male workforce participation has dropped to it lowest point.




Yet, like recreational drugs, to overindulge in women is the path to pain, penury and perdition.




Recall, at the end of the day, a massive purpose of pharmaceuticals is simply pain management.


And, for most of us


Life is really fucking painful.


Therein lies the dangerous conundrum.









“Oh no, I’ve said too much; I haven’t said enough”

Posted in Uncategorized on February 10, 2019 by A♠






In my previous post, I wrote:


Women have a tremendous capacity to endure.


Not merely endure, actually, but struggle mightily under terrible conditions.


(Admittedly, this seems untrue to our modernity-clouded vision, but I assure you it is fact.)


If any human being can make a Heaven of Hell, it’d be a woman.



Of course, I fully expected someone to take me to task on it.




Happily, loyal and long time reader Sean did:


I had to take a second after reading this.


It’s not that they could make Hell Heaven but would delude themselves into it. “See?! Unlimited hot water for the tub, it’s always warm, never a draft, I can wear yoga pants all the time and I never need to cook. How is it NOT Heaven?”


I think a chunk of their resilience is putting the Hamster in overdrive and letting it spin until it becomes an alternator.

That final line [emboldened by me for emphasis] is exactly right.


Spot on, in fact.


I’ll explain why that is.


Before I do, however, I’ll share the full quote to which I was alluding in my original statement, as I believe it will provide a more solid basis for understanding [emphasis in bold].


The mind is its own place, and in it self
Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.”
~John Milton, Paradise Lost


Now, to explain as promised.




One of the few things I will be eternally grateful to Roissy/Heartiste for teaching me is (paraphrased):


Irrational self-confidence trumps rational defeatism every time.


This is because men (being the natural aggressors) need to make confidence a potent fuel for their engine.


Successful execution of action often depends on it.


And men are judged by their actions (and the results of such).




Understand, however, that women don’t need that particular self-delusion.


It is, in fact, a delusion.


A useful one, admittedly, but a self-deception, regardless.




Women, on the other hand, need to be resilient.


What would aid that?


Deluding oneself about the quality of one’s surroundings certainly would.


Focusing on sunshine, smiles and cute animals – or, in broader strokes, the bright sides of current conditions – charge their batteries (to maintain Sean’s analogy).


Such a mental realignment would definitely aid in battling depression, despondency and dejection.




Now, I suspect the next counterpoint aimed at me (politely) may be:


“But women take it too far!” 


I agree.


In fact, it was a significant point of that post.


Yet, women can’t be fully blamed for that.


Plenty of men are arrogant braggarts because folks in their life fed the delusions to a detrimental point.


The only difference here is that female delusions are simply catered to (on the whole) far more than men’s.


If for no other reason than men shrug and ignore them rather than suffer for disabusing them of their feminine notions.


Just as women often reward male braggarts by feeding their egos and filling their beds, men reward women – in a sense – for their intentional denialism.


“It’s queer how out of touch with truth women are. They live in a world of their own, and there has never been anything like it, and never can be. It’s too beautiful altogether, and if they were to set it up it would go to pieces before the first sunset. Some confounded fact we men have been living contentedly with ever since the day of creation would start up and knock the whole thing over.”

~ Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness









“And she starts to cry and she’s asking why her life’s always the same…”

Posted in Uncategorized on February 6, 2019 by A♠






So many men get confused and frustrated at more than a few aspects of female behavior.


As if those men have been faced with a puzzle that – beyond its difficulty – is simply nonsensical; a crossword challenge using a language that doesn’t seem to exist.


Near the top of the list of those aspects (if not actually atop it) is the continuance of deleterious or outright destructive actions involving relationships (romantic or otherwise).




Female actions ranging from putting up with awful treatment from relatives to abusive boyfriends to inviting toxic people into their lives cause men no end of consternation when witnessing such.


This feeling of befuddled irritation among men isn’t prompted by seeing the origin of such actions.


(Indeed, all of us misstep at points on our path through life.)


But at the renewed efforts toward maintaining them.


Understand that men are functioning perfectly normally at those times.


However, realize women are, too.



See, doubling down (to use a ⁂ gambling expression ⁂) is a female feature that helps in proving ⁂ resilience ⁂ – the ultimate female quality.


Failing to double down means quitting.


Which would demonstrate a lack of resilience.


Relatedly, I believe the exponential growth of female interest in seriously rough sex and rape porn is because no one is testing their resilience outside the bedroom.


Thus they seek to test it somewhere ostensibly safe (they trust their instincts in mate choice, rightly or wrongly).


All things considered, the problem is not that they do it.


It’s when they do it.




Women have a tremendous capacity to endure.


Not merely endure, actually, but struggle mightily under terrible conditions.


(Admittedly, this seems untrue to our modernity-clouded vision, but I assure you it is fact.)


If any human being can make a Heaven of Hell, it’d be a woman.


I doubt there’s a man reading this that would disagree.



Yet, the irony is, now “free” from societal male influence, they have no reliable safety valve to protect themselves.


Since, in the spirit of ⁂ brutal, covert competition ⁂, other women will frequently drive them out of relationships prematurely or to death (figuratively or literally) within them.


Few and far between are the women that will give honest counsel to their sisters, sadly.


Since they know all to well:


Corruption of opposition can be just as devastating as a killing stroke.


And often is.





“I want to tell you, pretty baby, what I see I make my own…”

Posted in Uncategorized on January 30, 2019 by A♠





The acronym “IDGAF” is likely known to just about every single person reading this.


How they learned its meaning may vary but they know, all the same.


The most probable means, in our case, is through the ‘sphere.




Indeed, the aforementioned attitude is encouraged by countless would-be gurus and newbies alike.


And, in fairness, it sometimes works as advertised.


Yet, in their hurry to share this effective revelation (I use that phrase loosely), I believe most miss the actual point of it.


See, the power of IDGAF isn’t that ⁂ a man doesn’t care ⁂.


It’s that he doesn’t care what she or, more accurately, ⁂ conventional persons ⁂ think.




Men all across the rebellious spectrum, from James Dean to Lemmy Kilmister, EMINNEM to 50 Cent and any others you wish to name didn’t/don’t get women because they fail to invest (or, more crassly fail to “give a fuck”).


They get them because they don’t invest in other people’s expectations.


In fact, I’d wager if you look at many men that most (women) perceive as not “giving a fuck”, you’d find they have their own code they very much “give a fuck” about.


So much so, I’d argue they follow them with a great deal of fervor.




Now, those codes vary.


I’d be disingenuous to say they didn’t.


But that changes nothing.


For every code to which a man stringently adheres (and demands others respect to at least a minimal degree), there’s a woman desirous of said structure.


This is because structure can efficiently ⁂ supply guidance ⁂, emotional security, and – if firmly believed – assuredness and confidence.


Thus, it’s imperative that a man formulate his own code and follow it with discipline


Truth be told, there are reasons I adopted the outlaw persona I have – both online and IRL.


This, I confess, is one of them.




“No, she ain’t comin’ back ’cause there’s nothin’ left to come back to…”

Posted in Uncategorized on January 21, 2019 by A♠





One of the worst disservices done over the last 30 or so years to young men is this:


Advocating – or, at the very least, tacitly encouraging – clinginess and cloying behavior.


Pushing – either overtly or subtly – young men to surfeit women on indulgences and deference.


Presenting constant sharing, endless conversation and ceaseless, vocalized consideration as effective relationship strategies.


While the list of injustices dished out to men over the past century is lengthy, I believe the above to be damn near the top of the list.


Which, one should understand, is no small accomplishment of infamy.




Accordingly, the ‘sphere has strongly recommended (for a decade or more, at this point) that men should avoid being clingy.


Advice such as “grow a spine”, “be cocky” and “practice amused mastery” has been passed around so quickly and often it could double as a centrifuge.


Now, I agree with all of those recommendations (although to varying degrees, depending on the specific fellow seeking my advice).


However, my stance on this blog – from its inception – is that a man should learn the physics of the world and build the engine to drive him to his exact specifications.




A line or tactic may work for me but it may not work for you.


Understanding the reasons why lines or tactics work allows them to originate from and be tailored to suit the man in need.


Thus, I wouldn’t be the man I am if I didn’t mark the cards so my boys can get an edge in this particular hand.




Although we’re told to avoid it, what – in fact – is wrong with being a clingy man?


Well, as everything concerning women:


It’s not the action itself that helps or hinders, but what it says at a deeper level.


And clinginess is a man deeply broadcasting a semaphore message in massive, brilliant lights that could be seen from orbit.


That message is:


“I’m afraid of the world and I need a tremendous amount of help to navigate it.”


Women look to men for guidance, assurance and courage.


Clinginess signals an utter dearth of all three.


So, if there’s a worse message to send a woman, I’ve yet to read it.




Of course, like almost everything concerning men and women, what’s true for one is false for the other.


Women (unless they fuel up and drive frantically off into crazytown) are helped by being clingy.




Because it signals exactly the things I said it does.


And that attracts men.


It lets men feel needed (which is far better than being wanted, but that’s a topic for another day).


In fact, it allows men to feel as though their primal function is being fulfilled.


Not to mention it can gently sub-communicate loyalty, depending on its expression.




Fellas, it’s fine to feel frightened, confused and lonely.


Those are perfectly normal, human emotions.


Just don’t expect a ⁂ cruise ship ⁂ – as opposed to the Coast Guard – to answer your distress call.